I have my two year old grandson overnight one night a week and spend all day Saturday with him. We have a great relationship and the father was not around too much in the first year so he took to me as the major male in his life.
The problem is now when I take him home, even to my daughter he throws a fit going to her or the father. He goes nuts and I leave feeling lousy about seeing him so upset. I try talking to him calmly and reassure him that I will see him soon. Any suggstiong?
2007-02-24 05:06:15 · 7 answers · asked by Frank 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
You are the solid part of his life. Feel blessed! He trusts you more than anyone. Try telling him that his mommy is where he needs to be because she would be lonely with out him. Also that if he is very good he can come back soon. If he doesnt act nice when it is time to go he cant come back. I know it sounds harsh, but follow this with much "I love you, and I alwasy have fun with you" He will understand. Just remember that because you are male, and a solid part of his very short life you mean alot to him. He see you as a security. Try to present that for as long as you can to give him a more stable adulthood later.
2007-02-24 05:16:56 · answer #1 · answered by anamaradancer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did seperation stress in Psychology at A-point final term, and that i think of you choose supply your daughter some greater months till she gets used to people different than you (mom). Its a organic element, and in many circumstances after 7 months, babies type diverse attachments (with different kinfolk individuals). She cries lots, for the reason which you're a good parent! :) She's securely linked to you and that's the reason her seperation stress is severe. do no longer subject lots, all you choose is time, and quickly you're daughter will take exhilaration in her grandparents' enterprise.
2016-10-01 22:09:34 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am having a similar problem with my own son. Even though his father and I have been active with him from the beginning, he still prefers to visit my parents. And what child wouldn't? His grandparents rarely tell him 'no', act as if their entire purpose in life is to entertain him, and don't have the responsibility of making him into a considerate, responsible, well-adjusted adult.
The only suggestion I can really give you is to follow a routine every time you return your grandson to his parents, and then make the actual leave taking very quick and painless. If, for example, every time you start to leave he fusses a bit and you stay longer, you are only encouraging the fussing. My own son fussed a bit every time it was time to leave my parents' house, until I started giving him warnings--first is 'sweetie, in five minutes we need to get ready to go.' then five minutes later 'ok, I'm going to start the car (or take the diaper bag out, or whatever), you should put on your jacket and kiss Mamaw & Papaw bye bye.' And then if he's not 'ready' to leave five or so minutes after that, I simply pick him up, put his jacket on him, and carry him to each of my parents so he can kiss them. And then, we leave. Twice, he has left kicking and screaming, and both times my parents' tantrums lasted longer than the toddlers :P. Most of the time, he fusses a bit until he settles into his car seat, then he's fine, because he has learned through routine what to expect.
Let's face it--unless your grandson is being abused in your absence, it's probably harder on you than it is on him. Children are amazingly resilient, and adjust much better to separation than adults. There's also a strong reason for you to make these separations easier for everyone--If my son's behavior continued to escalate to the point of upsetting the entire family every time he had to leave my parents' house, then I would make sure he visitted as rarely as possible until that stage passed. I'm sure that if you work out a routine with your grandson, it will make the entire situation easier on everyone.
2007-02-24 05:19:09 · answer #3 · answered by Christal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two-year olds live very much "in the moment". That's just his way of expressing himself about leaving you and adjusting to the change of going back to his parents. As long as his needs are met at home and he is not being abused, you have nothing to worry about.
2007-02-24 05:14:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
kids do this sometimes. My daughter has a friend who will throw a fit when she has to leave our home and go back to her own home. As long as him primary care giver is consistent and loving, he is fine. At his age I don't think it is a 'male' craving. I think he just loves you very much and wishes you could stay. It is not anxiety.. it is just him making a big fuss because your time is over
2007-02-24 05:13:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-17 15:26:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't take it personally...he's just hitting the 'terrible twos'. Keep going how you have been.
2007-02-24 06:47:46 · answer #7 · answered by aza 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋