My maid of honour is a friend I've had for about 6 years. I told her today that I got my quote from my Reception site, and just with everything we've payed, and the things we know how much will cost later on. We're estimating around $23,000-$25,000 for the wedding. She kinda sloughed it off saying that was really good, and saying that she's heard of many weddings ON THAT TV WEDDING SHOW that have been much more expensive. Yes, I know that. But would it be so hard for her to agree with me that it is a lot of money? She lives in an apt with her fiance of 6 years, they've been together 10 years. I was with my fiance 2 years when he propose, and we will be getting married 3 years into being together. I feel that she may be upset that I'm getting married before her. She wouldn't be able to afford anything like this, yet she's acting as if the money we're spending is just pennies. I am ok with the price, but upset that she keeps dismissing it as cheap..... whyyyy??? :(
2007-02-24 04:44:51 · 22 answers · asked by Kass 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Just to add something, I told her because she asked.
2007-02-24 04:52:35 · update #1
Some of you are getting a little repetative. She has been asking the whole time, how much were the flowers? How much was this and that? What do I say? None of your business? Grow up people, I'm not rubbing anything in her face! Rude assumptions btw!!!!
2007-02-24 04:55:26 · update #2
Well If she ask how much the wedding is how are you going to ignore telling her. If she wants to know anymore info. I think you should just tell her something like i rather not say anymore. or just try to start a diffrent converstation when she asks another question you dont want to answer. I dont think you are being rude or mean by telling her alot of people are nosey and like to know how much you are spending and then they tell you that is all that is nothing. But in reality they cant even spend it themselves. So dont worry i know how you feel i have a friend that is also like that. and on top of that a nosey sister in law that doest like to ask me anything about my wedding but she will go ask around. So dont feel bad and think about if you really want her as a maid of honor. I just picked my sister to be maid of honor no drama and no problems. Good luck to you with all this.
2007-02-24 06:23:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife kinda had the same situation, her friend was acting really cheap, she has a lot more money then we do and kept telling us that she couldn't afford the dress and this and that, so we had to pay for everything for her, and she did not even get us any gifts, but she was jealous because her family wouldn't pay for a nice wedding like ours so she figured why pay for the dress and things we needed her to do and just let the bride and groom pay for them since they get the nice wedding. Yea I don't know what the deal with girls like that are, all I can tell you is whenever her boyfriend of like 8 years maybe proposes we will also be "too broke".
2007-02-24 04:51:50 · answer #2 · answered by nickhawkins21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may be asking you just because she is curious about what she could possibly be spending on HER wedding in the future. I always ask my older sister how much she paid for things at her wedding because I don't want to feel like I am getting ripped off or am paying way too much for something because he, I am not in the wedding business, I don't know the whole reality of how much everything is going to cost. I think how much your are spending is pretty the average amount spent on weddings today. I think actually the less you spend, the smarter you look because you aren't blowing so much money on pointless things for one day. Why don't you just ask her why she wants to know? Otherwise just don't tell her anything if her reaction bothers you.
2007-02-24 05:36:08 · answer #3 · answered by Beffy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She could very well be slightly jealous that you are getting married before her, but if she is your friend, she needs to put her issues aside and be your friend. Maybe she was having a bad day or had a lot on her mind. Have you thought about talking to her about it? Just ask her if everything is okay and if she asks why, just bring up her reaction to this. Maybe she has something she really needs to talk about but doesn't know how to bring it up. maybe she is asking you how much everything is so she knows realistically how much a wedding does cost not just one on tv. If she doesn't have much money maybe it is depressing her to know that she and her boyfriend may never be able to have the wedding of her dreams. There could be a whole lot going on with her personally. I knkow this day is all about you, but see if there is something underlying going on with her. You don't want there to be stress between the two of you on your big day and if you get her to talk to you about this, it may even bring you closer.
2007-02-24 05:43:09 · answer #4 · answered by Dawnita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations on your wedding!
But...
Why don't you look at it from her perspective?
She is in a relationship that while he is her fiance, it looks like they may never actually tie the knot. Here is her close friend, planning a huge, fabulous wedding that she'll probably never get. Don't you think that may make her hurt inside?
Be a little bit more compassionate.
And don't talk about price tags. You KNOW she doesn't have that kind of money. By bringing it up, you are in a way, rubbing it in that she doesn't have as much cash as you do. So I would leave the money out of discussions with anyone that is not helping to foot the bill.
2007-02-24 04:50:59 · answer #5 · answered by Raising6Ducklings! 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It sounds like she's got some body issues that she's transferring to you and the rest of the wedding party. I'd find another MOH, pronto. She doesn't seem to be contributing to your day in a positive manner at all. Simply tell her that her behavior is becoming hurtful to those around her, and that you can't have that interfering with your wedding. Ask your bridesmaids if they can divide up the MOH duties among themselves, or if they'd rather appoint one of their number to take over. That way no one feels that you're playing favorites. Good luck!
2016-05-24 06:07:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's best to never tell someone how much something cost, whether it be a car, house, or wedding. People can either be jealous of it or just think you're being a show off. It's best just to not say anything about cost anymore.
2007-02-24 04:49:43 · answer #7 · answered by Brown-eyed girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its your wedding - not hers. You can do whatever you feel like doing. Tell her that. I know its hard. I had similiar issues with mine, except I also found out she was jealous and slandering me behind my back - saying my marriage would fail. I found out she wasn't the friend I thought. It was hard, and she ended up not being in the wedding - not because I told her not to, but because she decided this. I was willing to forgive and go on. In the end, it was better because the girl who was my maid of honor is a good friend and still is. Good luck. And remeber - its your wedding.
2007-02-24 04:56:26 · answer #8 · answered by mizkayte 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For some reasons, one of my MOH is not being supportive of me either. I think your friend could be acting out on her jealousy. If you don't want to confront her, then the best way is not to talk about the wedding preparations with her. Ask yourself if you might have said or done anything "bridezilla". If the answer is no, then your MOH is just plain not being a good friend to you right now. Good luck!
2007-02-24 05:32:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would NEVER pay that much for a wedding. Elope its the cheapest way to get hitched.
Tell her that you have changed your mind on who will be the maid of honor. See how she reacts to that one.
Like others have stated... leave the cost out of your discussions with her or any one for that matter. Gloating on the cost is a sin!
2007-02-24 04:53:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋