Over the years, I've taken a lot of women out to dinners. Most of the time, I'm the one suggesting she let me take her out to dinner, so I expect to pay. I've only once in a blue moon had women explicitly offer to pay half. Occasionally, a woman will not say anything, but begin to fumble with her purse as if she's getting out money to pay part fo the bill. On those occasions I'll typically tell her not to worry about it, that I'm taking care of it. Sometimes I'll say "you can get the next time" hoping to see some enthusiasm for the prospect of another date.
One of my pet peeves is taking a woman out and getting the "can I cover the tip?' line at the end. It just bothers me. So, I'm wondering why women do this. After all, if the bill is $85 for a nice dinner and drinks, surely the extra $15 is largely irrelevant, so why would you offer to pay that rather than offer to pay $50 for half the bill? What's your motivation or reason?
2007-02-24 04:20:22 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
To the person named "HOT" -- don't get upset. I did not complain at all about paying the bill. When I ask a girl out, I have the expectation of paying and don't feel it's anything to complain about.
All I wanted to know was why women feel they should ask to cover the tip instead of going all the way for half the bill. Knowing why women feel some need or inecurity that cause her to do that is half the battle of being able to make her feel more comfortable.
2007-02-24 04:36:03 · update #1
i think that a lot of ladies want to feel like they are responsible for taking care of themselves. they also feel like they don't have to owe you anything
2007-02-24 04:24:17 · answer #1 · answered by aspen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok first you asked why a woman would not pay for her half of a dinner and then you are complaining that she wants to cover the tip. Are you ever happy with any of your dates, and I can bet you are still single right??? It is called being polite!!!! By the way I answered your last question you wrote like 15 minutes ago that is why I am a little perplexed over this one.
2007-02-24 12:29:51 · answer #2 · answered by HOT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! You really pay for dinner? You should man up and make them pay for dinner. I go out to dinner often and I cannot remember the last time I had to pay. You have to keep your Pimp Hand strong and let them know as you walk in the door that they are paying for you. You are obviously very timid or unsure of yourself when you say, "you can get the next time". You should be saying, "You'll be paying tomorrow night too". This lets them know that you are sure of yourself. Women like that in a man. Everyone knows nice guys finish last and women always go for the bad guy. You have a lot to learn.
2007-02-24 12:29:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
... Welll... Let's see. Most of us are modest and we feel bad when someone buys food for us. It's like we feel like we're taking advantage. So... We don't want you to pay the bill. BUT. We're broke so we don't want to pay our own half, lol. Besides sometimes if you pay your half the message you think you're sending is that it isn't a real date, rather than a friend's date. So if you pay your half and the man doesn't stop you she'll think he probably doesn't want anything with her. *nodnod* Well. I think that's why. I'm not going to lie about it. Most girls won't tell you why, but Im really opened about this sort of stuff.
2007-02-24 12:29:50 · answer #4 · answered by Life is short: Enjoy it!!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I admit I am guilty of this. Sometimes it only to get out of having to do this again with the person. Sometimes it is to help out knowing he doesn't have a lot of money to begin with. That upsets me, knowing he doesn't have much money but takes me to a very nice restaurant. That is his choice to do it, but it is my contribution. I have offered to pay for my share of the bill, only to be looked at like I have three heads. So, for me, the reasoning is a personal need.
2007-02-24 12:29:40 · answer #5 · answered by zsaffireblue2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps nervousness, perhaps inexperience as to the way it should play out, feeling like she HAS to pay something.
I agree with you.......when a gentleman takes a woman out he covers the evening. Thats the rule. When a woman interferes with that dynamic, doesn't it rather throw off the balance of the evening?
2007-02-24 12:30:45 · answer #6 · answered by Janet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if i was dating and i was in this situation, my motivation would be, I'm trying to please you honey, i want to be sweet and kind to you so the last thing can do is pay the whole bill. Whats the point of him trying to get out half, i get out half, he adds it up, i add it up, we both add it up, then we have to balance. That just takes up too much time, so when you get in his situation, just know she either has enough money or if she doesn't, she doesn't want to tell you that, so you ask her. Ask her if she has enough and go on from there.
2007-02-24 12:34:02 · answer #7 · answered by ebonycorine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's out of courtesy, but I could see how it bothers you. Try telling the girls when it's nearly time to pay or time to pay " Honestly honey, I took you out for the night, EVERYTHING is on me, next time if you'de really like to take the honor, then do so." Put it simply and friendly too, it should work.
2007-02-24 12:25:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if I offered to cover the tip, it would be so I didn't feel like I was free-loading or making you pay for everything. I am not one who will argue when someone offers to pay.
2007-02-24 12:27:32 · answer #9 · answered by crystal_lynn_79 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah that would get on my nerves, especially as thats what your waiters actuly thankful for.
i guess they dont want to pay the full $50, and they dont want to look cheap so they think thats a happy medium. which, you obviously think, it isnt.
2007-02-24 12:27:32 · answer #10 · answered by bojanglestothemax 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋