I hurt my son and I feel guilty?

Question

I heard a very loud banging sound and when I went to see what it was I saw my son (3 yrs old) was opening the door to my daughter's room (4 months old) and banging it shut over and over. She was taking a nap in there! So I grabbed him by his wrist and I placed him in his room. But when I was walking away I heard him crying hard and holding his wrist. Just the way he was crying it made my stomach feel like it was turning. So I watched to make sure he could move it and he could and it seemed to not hurt as much as time went by. I went in a few minutes later and asked him if it hurts and he said a little. I had him move it around a lot and that didn't hurt him so he is now ok, but I feel so bad though!! Has anyone grabbed their child out of anger and seriously injured them when placing him/her in time out or in their room, etc?

Answer 1

I would never grab my child out of anger. Others have recommended anger management classes to you before, this is another example of why you need it. Your children deserve better than this and you can be a better parent if your would just realize you need help.

Answer 2

First of all you didnt mean to hurt your son. If you would have wanted to hurt him that would be different. You were trying to quickly get him away from the sleeping child, something any mother of more than one child knows about. I was trying to get my three year old to hurry up and get in the car yesterday and accidently slammed the car door into her head. It happens. I would never hurt my child on purpose but sometimes when we are angry or upset we dont pay attentions as well as we should and things happen. You are not a bad parent or anything of the sorts. You are a great mother and feeling bad is normal. But remember things like this will happen all the time just try to be a little more gentle next time. Dont beat yourself up over this!! Good luck and God bless with all your little ones!!

Answer 3

I have never seriously injured either of my children, and neither have you. Chances are that it did hurt a little, when you're three you don't have much experience to compare it to, so he cried. I'll bet he cries just as hard when you really scold him for doing something wrong. Our kids tug at our heartstrings when they cry. Don't feel bad, in a year or 2 he will hurt himeself much worse than you could by grabbing his arm. Wait until he tries to climb on something and falls down, or gets a cut that requrires stiches, then he will have an injury worrying over.

Answer 4

It happens all the time. Its not the finer moments of being a parent or guardian. Its not like you intentionally set out to hurt the child, but in a moment of anger you can easily get out of control.

Its hard to always act on behalf of the children and not yourself. Chances are you were upset at the though of him waking up the child that was sleeping because then you would have to either watch two children, or struggle through putting her back down. Its not a bad thing, its part of being human. Its just hard to put those thoughts aside in the heat of the moment.

Now that you've had this accident, you will always remember it whenever you're about to act out in anger. Since you have realized how potentially harmful it can be you'll avoid repeating it later.

Its okay.

Answer 5

to respond to your very last question, you could take Anger administration practise and Parenting practise. I accept as true with the respondent who requested what a 6 year previous can do to shame you. you commence out with he's slightly naughty to his shaming you. He has no longer considered you in 2 years so for you to a 6 year previous you're a digital stranger. you do not comprehend what type of disclipine his mom used, if any, at the same time as you've been away. you want to have a verbal substitute with her and a minimum of get an theory of what he's used to. If he will be going decrease backward and forward between both of you there should be guidelines that the both one among you opt so that you will be per him. As for him performing odd for his age, by whose criteria. i'd make it sparkling to him what your guidelines are and what takes position if it would not follow them....time outs for circumstances. If I were truly in touch about that his being 'odd' i'd see a baby psychologist. Slapping a 6 year previous interior the face isn't perfect in any subject, if it you've self belief it really is warranted it and also you've self belief in that type of punishment you should in simple terms besides swapped him on the butt.you want some to make some severe transformations...you'd be making issues a lot worse. by all means ask for forgiveness to him. study anger administration recommendations so that you'll promise him it gained't ensue lower back and advise it.

Answer 6

Well, I don't have any children but I have seen this happen before. You didn't mean to hurt your son but at the same time you were trying to keep your daughter calm. Next time remain calm & just asked him to go about his business. If that doesn't work, then you have to put a little more bass in your voice. But when you're teaching your child a lesson, make sure that you don't go too far. I wish you & your children the best.

Answer 7

I understand your feelings of guilt.
I would not call you a bad mother or put you down because we all make mistakes.
Before a next time has a chance of happening I would come up with some ways to curb your anger. Yes your son did something and he upset you. But he is learning how to be a person and growing up and learning takes time.
I would have asked him to "please stop paying with sissys door, shes taking a nap" and showed him something else he could be doing.
I lose my temper at times as well. We all learn from our mistakes.
Take more time to teach him. Save dicipline for times when hes really done a naughty deed and knows it.
Good luck

Answer 8

Ok Ok It was an accident and your guilt wont change anything. You can only learn from this incident and go on. He isnt hurt badly and will be ok and maybe next time he wants to slam the door he will think twice. No parent is perfect so you wont be either and continueing to beat yourself up over this small incident wont help anyone. Just remember next time.

Answer 9

I agree with most of the answers already. It happens, try not to let it happen, etc. I just want to add:

It is OK to apologize to your child. A lot of parents think it is "giving in" or "looking weak" to apologize. when you do something 'wrong" to your child, yell, accidentally hurt them, whatever, and then you explain, "that was wrong and I am sorry" it is so good for kids to hear. It teaches them that you respect their feelings, and it teaches them about empathy and forgiveness.

Answer 10

yes I have and its a terrible feeling, And I know you didn't do it on purpose. it was just a fast reaction on what he was doing. as long as he wasn't really hurt. thats what matters. You are a good mother to realize what you have done, and hopefully it won't happen again. and that you will be able to stop before it does. I have , I use to walk away from him when I felt myself getting in that situation until I calmed down, and then I went and talk to my son. good luck.