bf trouble pls help ladies?

Question

ok heres my story..
i met my bf when we were 16 & 17. we've been together since. its been 5 yrs this yr... we've alw been in love and our parents know..infact EVERYBODY we know knows...

but this yr ive seen a side to him which has made me doubt being together... im seriousl considering walking away from this relationship bcos im not happy at all.

but how do i tell ppl this? my parents? we met so young, but my parents r so sooo happy with us, they love him!!

how can i leave him now? half of me wants to walk away but the other half is lost!

whats the best thing to do? and how?

i have tried talking to him, ive told him how i feel, and all he did was put me down by saying its my fault... i hate to say this but i rly feel like i dont love him as much as before... he doesnt hear what im saying so i cnt see us resolving this in a good way.. ive told him i need time to think... so maybe a few days maybe a week may help? right?

thnks peggy k... but my mother is the last person i wud talk to... we've never been close, it was only aftr i told her abt my bf we grew closer bcos she was happy with me... i dont wnt to lose that either.... aghh this is so impossible! either way its gonna suck bein me!!

Thank you so much to all of u for the advice! I dont have anyone to talk to in person about this so this is a help.

I hate what hes doing to me, so ive decided to take a break from him, and as many of u have suggested, if imiss him then theres my answer...

but theres no way i can deal with this right now...so break it is...

thank u hunies for the advice. it has helped a lot..

Answer 1

I'm not sure what side of him you have seen to make you want to consider walking out of him, but I assume it must be serious to justify your reaction. And lost of faith.

I've only a thing I would like you to ask yourself. If you are not happy with him now, will you, in your gut feeling, be happy with him in the future? Say, in another 3 to 5 years time?

If yes, then you might still give this relationship a shot. If not...you decide what's best. Good luck!

Answer 2

Righto - ye were very young when ye met, and people do change between 16 and 21/22, they grow in different directions. To my mind what you're feeling is perfectly normal and acceptable, because you know that it's time to move on now.

However, I think that the person who you need to tell first is the boyfriend. It may be that he is starting to feel the same way, and feeling the same pressure. Why don't you just sound him out about it? If you do break up, it doesn't mean you can never speak to each other again - on the contrary, something like this, plus the history you already have together, will help make you great friends.

As for your family and friends, well, in this case they are not important. Once you and he have decided what to do, then you can let them know. If you and he decide to break up and the family and friends don't like it - tough on them. Your parents are used to him, are friends with him, and that need never change. It just means that the dynamics will be adjusted, and I think that the time has come for this.

Answer 3

Well I'm not a woman but I can understand where you're coming from. The problem you're having is that you're starting to feel trapped, you've been in this mezmerized state of love for so long that you feel like your missing out on something else. I know you don't want to hurt his feelings, but I think you've plateaued with this guy and now it's time too date other people. But don't just jump out there and hook up with the first guy you meet, take some time out and date yourself. You owe it to yourself to find out what life is like without him. If you don't do it you will end up regreting yourself later on in life. I only advise that you do this if you're really serious, if not and you're just feeling confused and indecisive then my advice to you would be not to break up a good thing.

But before you just haul off and do it, think about this: Do your good times outweigh the bad times? You really need to separate and spend time by yourself to make a decision like this.

Good luck and search your feelings. If this is what you want then step up and tell him how you feel.

Answer 4

You were both young when you got together,so it's inevitable that as you matured you grew into different people. Your parents and friends will understand if you want to end this-they'd rather you be happy than stuck in a relationship thinking you have to stay to make others happy.
Tell him you've grown apart and you think it's for the best that you end things. Who knows what the future will bring? But for now,you're not happy,so you think it's best to part.

Answer 5

You met when you were young and as the years have gone by you have grown up and started to look at things differently, this is natural. It is gonna be hard but i would have a break from him and see how you feel after say three weeks. As for you parents and friends, it is you life and there is no point being unhappy to suit them. good luckx

Answer 6

The first thing I'd do is talk it over with him. It may be a misunderstanding of some kind. He may be going through something he isn't prepared to discuss with you yet. Young men do that. LOL.. even older men do THAT, come to think of it.

If you don't get anywhere with him, talk it over with your Mom. In private. Describe the entire thing. She is YOUR mother, not his, and she will listen to you. You may have to pick your time and be sure she focuses her attention on you and the problem, though.

I sure hope this all works out well for you.

Answer 7

I know what you mien.My sister went off with a guy too when she was 17 and got pregnant at 17 she thought she loved him but he was a bastard and now shes in allot of **** so all I'm saying is go slow if you don't feel right about it don't let him fores you to do something that you feel uneasy about do what makes you happy.

Answer 8

hi janet to tell u sumthing right this moment's that u made undesirable options interior the previous. acceptable element i'm able to tell u is that flow away the previous at the back of and start up a clean existence. dnt get in to any relation basically for the sake of it .and whilst u meet the ceremony individual in existence supply him the acceptable and love him the main and dnt do something stupid bc u mite unfastened him .and janet whilst u supply the acceptable and love him frm ur coronary heart he will luv u back and could make u experience the main imp individual in his existence .as for now forget approximately abt the previous start up new existence each physique has have been given previous acceptable thank you to handle that's to learn frm ur mistake and start up clean takecare dnt subject each thing would be high-quality .stop gvg time to all ur ex bf thats the way u can focus in ur existence and be with frnds whom u believe and could make u experience good bye wish u wnt take any incorrect step takecare

Answer 9

don't walk away from ur problems if it's been that long and yall are still together then yall need to talk ur problems out and tell each other how you feel i mean don't just go around fussing at him just sit down calmly and tell him and ask him how he feels about yall relationship. i mean five years is a long time and u just can't get ova something like that if it's been that long you're going to always have feelings for him so just talk it over and see if that works out.

Answer 10

This is tough for you, but if your feelings are changing then maybe a break would be good, if you miss him like mad that's your answer if you don't then your friends and family will just have to understand that people grow apart.... life moves on and you with it....time heals all. Good luck sweetie