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my grandson was 3 years old,when we got residents order,both sets of parents disowened him,he has seen 2 grandmother die,in his little life,we have brought him up,both my husband and myself,we have no family i do but their are too selfish in their own ways,now my grandson seems to be turning on us espiacally me i wish i know what i had done wrong,he his swearing ,bullying us ,we don,t want to send him away ,but what else can we do

2007-02-24 02:22:01 · 20 answers · asked by susanrad10 2 in Family & Relationships Family

20 answers

get your grandson in to counsling i think if u send him away he will get the feeling he is not loved, kids usually turn to their grand parnets when their mom and dads are not their. get in to some family counsling.i think your grandson has alot of hurt and pain and he does not know how to deal with his feelings that is why he is acting out. talk to his school and the counsler their are so many rescures that the school could have to help how about mental health?

2007-02-24 02:27:32 · answer #1 · answered by crystal w 3 · 1 0

I am a bit confused. If he has saw 2 grandmothers die and you have no children how can this child be your grandson? However, that is just me being curious it doesn't make the problem go away. Think millions of parents and guardians are in the same boat as you and sadly often it doesn't go away until these children are learned a lesson the hard way This probably sounds horrible but he is heading right in to the arms of the law and nothing you do will stop him. Don't wrap him up in cotton wood by let the Law deal with him, it coul be what he needs to be taught a lesson. I told someone this last night it is better he gets a little blemish on his character now than a big black one later on.

2007-02-24 10:56:07 · answer #2 · answered by Ms Mat Urity 6 · 0 0

You don't say what age your grandson is now, I have an almost 15 year old son who has been rebelling on my husband and myself we realise that it was triggered by the deaths of my father, brother and young nephew(8 years old) who lost their lives five years ago. It can be very very hard to stand and take the kind of language your talking about, I really feel great sympathy for your husband and yourself. My advice is to get him to family counselling where you, your husband and he go in and talk to the councillors a few times then let your grandson go by himself you could really be surprised what talking to someone who deals with this sort of thing everyday can achieve and in a very short space of time. I would only be guessing by what I'm going to say but here goes, I think your grandson is grieving for the parents he has never had and for the grandmothers he has lost that is quite al ot for a child to deal with.

Give him the benefit of counselling this probably won't be short term, and try and talk to him with the help and advice of your councillor. Please advise him that there is no shame in talking to a councillor.

The Very Best of Luck To You All

God Bless x x

2007-02-24 08:11:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

It sounds like your Grandson is lashing out at the only people he knows will still love him no matter how he behaves. He is most likely dealing with a lot of hurt and anger. I would suggest counseling as soon as possible. You don't say how old he is now, but either way, try to stand your ground with him, and at the same time reassure him you understand him, and his anger, but he is directing it at the wrong people. Don't threaten to send him away...it will only make matters worse. His life has been hard, and he is very lucky to have you guys, you stepped up, when everyone else stepped out. God Bless and Best of Luck..

2007-02-24 02:58:32 · answer #4 · answered by sassy_395 4 · 0 0

Honestly, your best bet is to send him away. He will be mad at you, and you will feel horrible for doing it, but he needs help and if you are not able to do it, someone will. I am 27 now, when I was 13 my mother put me in a foster home because I was so bad, I hated her for it, but I got over it and it really straightened me out. I love my mother and I see now why she did it. I finished high school and I am in college now. It was the best thing she could have ever done, I don't know where I would be now if she hadn't. I hope this helped.

2007-02-24 02:28:40 · answer #5 · answered by samantha 3 · 0 0

If he is aware of his background (Idont know how old he is or how much he knows) he may be feeling angry and upset. You are the only one he has, so he is taking it out on you.
He may need some kind of counselling to come to terms with what has happened to him - being 'abandoned' by his parents etc. First place is your docs I think to refer you for counselling.
But mostly he will still need your love and support to be constant. Even though you may hate how he is acting, you have to be tough to prove that you also wont leave him
Good luck.

2007-02-24 02:28:14 · answer #6 · answered by jeanimus 7 · 0 0

in an invironment like that youngsters usually do what they want interior the top by way of fact no sparkling guidance is given. parents could desire to set agreed regulations for his or her little ones and in the event that they have issues doing that they could desire to flow to a mediator or break up. the training of Macchiavelli do no longer belong right into a marriage or parenting. the place little ones are in contact pointscoring over the different considerable different isn't in hassle-free terms immature yet egocentric.

2016-09-29 13:34:37 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

don't send him away. remember that this child has experienced more in his first few years of life than most people experience in their entire lives. this is a tough time for him. he feels that no one loves and cares about him. try to get him into counseling for these problems. that is the best thing that you can do. through counseling, he can vent his frustrations and find out how he can better deal with them. hang in there, things will improve, it just takes time. hope this helps. good luck.

2007-02-24 03:40:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

its obvious that this person has had a bad start to life maybe he is having flashbacks of that and does not understand why his parents rejected him apart from the drug habit . i suggest that you ask him what is troubling him as without getting into a row.if you ignore bad behaviour then he may come to the idea that you loved him you were there for him when it mattered.i no its easier said than done but its worth a shot and its free. keep your chins up it will all soon resolve itself

2007-02-24 06:50:15 · answer #9 · answered by bicth of west midlands 1 · 0 0

I would try counseling. Sounds like the little guy has been through quite a bit already. If he's a teenager he may just be rebelling. All you can do is just be supportive, loving and caring and let the chips fall where they may.

2007-02-24 02:26:29 · answer #10 · answered by H.B.K. 2 4 · 0 0

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