My boyfriend and I are very serious. We are together almost two years now. I own my own home and do not depend on him financially. We are both teachers. He is the best boyfriend anyone could ever ask for. We had an arguement which I caused, which resulted in him putting his hands around my neck and hitting me in the face (whether this happened on purpose or accidentally I dont know-I dont mean accidentally strangled me- I mean by strangling me did he accidentally hit me? I know the answer is probably not!). But never showed any characteristics of abusive tendencies or is never jealous. Like I said he is normally a wonderful boyfriend who would do anything for me. He runs away from situations rather than talks about them. He is avoiding me for days already. I dont want to keep calling and I am trying to stay tough and not call- bc he wont answer. He doesnt even open emails. I feel because he hit me he should be coming to me. I am a mess over this because he is normally such a perfect guy. But he wont deal with this. If he gets in touch with me I would completely be willing to work this out- but he needs to.
2007-02-24 01:18:14 · 11 answers · asked by homeagain 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This happened on Feb 16th, still havent heard from him one way or the other. Also, he wont answer if I do call. I have called him once and left a message since this happened. All I said was that I was ready to talk if he was. He has a key to my house and everything- so even if we broke up I need some sort of closure. How long can he possibly be waiting to come back around? Even if he is ashamed of what happened?
2007-02-24 01:32:02 · update #1
I agree with Jewel too, that this whole situation is out of my hands. I can only determine how I will handle it when/if he does come back. I do feel how he comes back determines what I am going to do. If he doesnt even apologize or tell me he missed me or was in the wrong than that is probably my way of knowing despite how otherwise perfect he is-we are not meant to be!!!
Thanks everyone!!!
2007-02-24 01:34:13 · update #2
I agree with April Showers!!!
2007-03-03 12:45:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will never forget when I was younger I read a story about a man on death row. He had talked about how it all started when he was younger and he would take some change out of his mom's purse, then he started taking dollars then he started robbing people. It all came to a head when he wound up murdering someone in a robbery. You say he just choked you know? Well if you let him back he is going to know that what he did will fly. So next time he gets angry he may do worse knowing in the back of his head that he is going to get away with it, it is the human psyche at work here.
You have to realize if you let him back you let him know it is ok. Give it time. And also you need to realize for yourself what he did is wrong, so wrong that you need some time away from him possibly pemanantly. I have seen so many women get caught up in this ugly cycle of getting hit and coming back and getting hit and coming back time after time again and the relationships always crumble because of the sick resentments that build up in this cycle.
2007-02-24 01:26:02 · answer #2 · answered by Michael S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Becareful, the quiet men are the worst in this regard! They keep their emotions bottled up and then blow their top over small things. On one hits another person accidentally or accidentally finds their hands around your neck. Really this sounds terrible.
Don’t make an excuse for him or explain his behaviour away. Does it matter who caused the argument? It takes two people to have a fight and you both seemed to do just fine. Striking a woman is one thing but holding her neck in your hands is something far more dangerous. This kind of thing usually excalates until someone ends up in hospital. Don’t be silly, you know what you need to do.
2007-03-02 18:25:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. He has to deal with this himselve. Maybe he is ashamed or feels quilty, but it is up to him.
Don't forgive before he explained. Because this can turn into a nasty habit. Don't know what the quarrel was about, but this is not just a slap in the face or something. Be careful. Abuse can also start after a few years.
And take VERY good notice of the first step he takes. When he tries to blame you it is definitely bad news. I believe the first words he says or writes are quite important. Take care of yourselve.
2007-02-24 01:29:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I read this question and some of the answers, I was really upset. This man put his hands on you in anger. This is just the beginning. Who cares if he is normally a wonderful boyfriend, he isn't anymore! If you take him back, he will know it's okay and I bet it will happen again. Is this what you really want?
No matter what started the arguement, NO ONE has the right to put his hands around your neck and smack you. Change the locks on your home, and move on. Someday, you will be glad you did.
2007-02-24 03:54:34 · answer #5 · answered by DEENIE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey,wake up and smell the roses.His doing this to you was his way of breaking up!If this happened to a friend or sister would you tell her this is acceptable behaviour.If you got back together He will do it again!They always do!Listen to me.I lived with this kind of abuse for 7 yrs.This is his shadow side that he has been hiding from you.Stay away from him.
2007-02-24 01:26:19 · answer #6 · answered by april showers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no person accidently places their hands on somebody's neck and hits them interior the face. it would not rely who began the argument! if my husband positioned his hands on me, his *ss could be finished with. do no longer marry this guy! flow away him on my own, and discover somebody else. "just about" 2 years isn't an prolonged time in any respect. he's a coward, or he's attempting to artwork with the aid of his anger, which if that is taking this long, it rather is a serious warning call spectacular there!
2016-11-25 20:39:50 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already have your closure. Don't ever let him back into your life unless you want to file charges against him. Good luck with your life in the future.. you have a lot of living to do.
2007-02-24 02:13:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say he has been wonderful and all and in this is incident if he just was out of control for one moment why didnt he come back and or just break down and say how sorry he was, to me he may have an abusive streak in him and I really wouldnt trust him...just change your locks and move on....
2007-02-24 01:48:26 · answer #9 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once, my closet in my room was very dirty my mom got so mad she like pulled my hair slapped me and took away half of my clothes,now i had bruises and I TOLD MY FRIENDS what really happened and they said it was child abuse but...the night the she hurt me she came in my room and apologized and it never happened again....maybe your boyfriends just trying to find the right way to apologize to you.
2007-02-24 01:25:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋