I think Brestfeeding is great BUT?

Question

Why do some moms that breastfeed talk down to moms that bottlefeed. I was told by one mother that was a breastfeeder " that i must not love my kids enough to be so lazy . said. I must Bottle feed to make it easier at the risk of my childrens health".

There isnt anything wrong with bottle feeding in my view, My children were not able to breastfeed, the dr. said no due to the medications he had to give me after my kids arrived. So its not like I just chose against it, But should not matter the reason it was chose.

Im due to have my 3rd baby, and still up in the air on which ill do... Im leaning twords bottle because Its what im used too, and pretty sure the dr will say no again

Answer 1

I think there is some chemical that goes off in certain women's brains when they have children that makes them think they are on pedestals. These are the same women who will tell you they're children never had temper tantrums and that working moms are evil. There is NOTHING wrong with bottle feeding when I had my first I wanted to breastfeed exclusively but my breast didn't agree they quit producing milk after a few months, I switched to bottle and my daughter is fine. With my second I plan to breastfeed as long as possible but will alternate between bottle and breast....some women are just catty.

I hate the self righteous, "my way is better" moms....everyone is entitled to do what is right by there child. Whoever told you that you were lazy because you bottle feed ....UGH how rude, I hope you don't still talk to that person.

Answer 2

You know, I breastfed my daughter and I was judgemental like that. Now I'm due to have my son and am in the same boat you are. I need certain medications that aren't safe for the baby, so I'm going to be bottle feeding this one. Now that I'm on the other side of the fence, I realise that I was wrong to automatically assume that everyone that didn't breastfeed their children was just being lazy. There are some very good reasons sometimes for a woman NOT to breastfeed, and unless the person tells them, we have no way of knowing what those reasons are.

Answer 3

Okay, you are in the right. No one should say one is better than the other. The way they make formula these days, they are both almost equally healthy. It is a good thing you bottle fed instead of breastfed while taking medication. I was unable to get my daughter to take to the breast so after 2 1/2 months of trying and supplementing I decided to put her on the bottle full time. This has worked out just fine. When my son came along, he took to the breast and is still breastfeeding after 15 months! I liked the bottle feeding because it was easier to wean, and breastfeeding is more difficult to wean from. If you want to try breastfeeding and your doctor says it's ok, it is a wonderful way to bond with your baby. I'd say my son is definitely more bonded to me than my daughter. You should go ahead and make your decision based on the pros and cons or your personal preferences and medical restrictions.

Answer 4

I don't know why, except the fact that it is so forced in all other ways, media, the health industry, etc. So maybe people take these so called "experts" advice and forget that there is more than one way to love your child. When I had my son there were even commercials on the tv implying that if I didn't breast feed I was a child abuser. The commercial would say that you protect your child before he was born why don't you protect him after. I did my best but because of health issues I was unable to do it to. I had earlier health issues in my life, as results my milk did not come in. I was extremely hurt, that not only people may look at me wrongly but even the media attacked me. I was lucky and had many breastfeeding friends that were very supportive of me. I love my child the best I can and give him the best I can but I am human and can only do so much. My mom didn't breast feed me either and you know I am healthy and happy adult and I know my child will be too and that is all that matters.

Answer 5

Part of the problem is that a lot of breastfeeding mothers are being reactionary to being judged themselves. They feel ridiculed or poorly treated or even just defensive for their decision to breast feed and lash out at those who choose not to, or are unable to do so.

A lot of breast feeding mothers spend time researching the literature so that they can defend their decision to breastfeed and know a great deal of reasons why "breastfeeding is better than bottle feeding" and will react with those reasons right at the forefront.

However, that isn't an excuse. Your decision, whether to breastfeed or not regardless of the reasons why, should be accepted as just that. My sister was unable to breastfeed for physical reasons and felt defensive whenever anyone asked. I chose to breastfeed my children and felt defensive whenever anyone asked. Neither one of us was in the wrong, but the problem is that breastfeeding itself is a tender issue. It is really between you and your child, literally, and that is how it should stay.

Answer 6

You're absolutely correct that it's nobody's business but the parents of the child.

I feel some people think that others are underinformed of the benefits of breastfeeding both to the mother and the baby. So you might interpret it not so much judging as wanting to make sure the mother has been properly advised.

There is some amount of squeamishness on the part of some (it does seem sort of weird!) to breastfeed, so that in my years of being an OB nurse I knew this was something to dispense with right away. If I felt as though someone was making a decision not to breastfeed because of lack of confidence with their own breasts, I would do my best to help them with this area.

Then, if parents have ALL of the pertinent information and still decide not to breastfeed, that is certainly their choice.

Although I'm a HUGE advocate of breastfeeding, I would never presume to judge a person's reasons for doing/not doing so. In my role as a clinician, however, I certainly advocated for it wherever possible.

There are certain people on the pro-breastfeeding side who are extremely unpleasant (and almost creepy) about making sure everyone breastfeeds (LaLeche comes to mind, along with all those breastfeeders at Victoria's Secret stores!), and I think there is a psychosexual component to their advocacy of breastfeeding. Disturbing.

If a stranger wanted to comment on my breastfeeding or lack of breastfeeding, I would not hesitate to ask them several very pointed questions about various decisions they have made with regard to their personal health:
"What do you do about heavy phlegm build-up when you have a cold?"
"Have you ever had to have an STD treated? If so, what did you do?"
"Do you have allergies, and have you tried Claritin, or are you on prescription medications for it?"
"If your husband starts losing his hair, do you think he'll try minoxidil?"
"Is he a candidate for Viagra?" etc. I'm sure you get my point.

Answer 7

My sister had the other side of this problem. Women came up to her and tell her that she's wrong for breastfeeding and that it's a sick way of doing things. My sister has breastfed all of her children except for one that could not breastfeed. All mothers seem to have their own way of doing things and by golly they have to be right! Lol. Just ignore people judging you. The comments people make are stupid and mean. Enjoy your baby!! Also you may want to get a second doctor to look at the meds. your on. Generaly meds. don't interfere with breastfeeding.

Answer 8

Why worry about others judging you? First of all, it was not in that mother's place to say something so degrading to you. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. Breastfeeding is great, true! My son was completely breastfed the first 4 months of his life. But there are some moms that are not able to do this, as in your case, the medications you were on probably would have caused more harm to your child than the good coming from breastmilk. Your doctor was looking out for both of you, and you did what you felt right. Don't worry about it. There are tons of children out there who are bottle fed from day one who have a wonderful life and relationship with their mother. Keep up the good work!

Answer 9

Hey Tammer...the people who talk down to you are ignorant and self-absorbed. While it's great to be kept "abreast" of the benefits of breastfeeding, it's not for everyone. In fact, in some cases, it could put both the mother's and child's health at great risk if she were to do this. Unfortunately it's the nature of many people to mind other people's business and not their own. It is just a small scale representation of why there are wars in this world, as these people aggressively look to change others and force their own belief system onto them. Personally this woman might just be bitter over the fact that if she has to have her baby inconveniencing her, then all other woman should share her misery. Next time you run into this, just tell the woman that you can see by her attitude, she's certainly harming her own children by feeding them "sour" milk...lol. Here's to hitting the "bottle"! Cheers.

Answer 10

Don't let other peoples ignorance bother you. You do what is best for you as a mother and for your bub. That is not always breastfeeding. Far too much emphasis is put on what is wrong and right with feeding, I think if your a happy and calm mother, your baby will feel fine on bottle or boob. My advice, you do whatever you feel comfortable doing, tell anyone else who tells you otherwise to concentrate on raising their own children with manners, as obviously their mother forgot.- she was too busy breastfeeding!