We're together since 4 months (but we don't live together - she's still with her parents). I love her a lot and we've had plenty of sex, like 3-5 times every week. I'm 29 and she's 24. She's started having the 'symptoms' since 3-4 weeks now, and this morning her test was positive. She's very affected and is telling me she doesn't think she can keep the baby as she doesn't feel ready, etc. Me, I'm ready to assume paternity and move with/marry her, as I've always believed that abortion is a crime (it's my conviction, nothing to do with religion) and as I love her so much. But I know also that the final decision is hers, as it's her body and her pain, although I feel 100% involved in this situation. I love her more than she loves me in fact. What should I do? Allow her to have abortion and move on? In my country, abortion is illegal but it is still done by some unscrupulous doctors.
2007-02-23 19:05:42 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She's determined now to have the abortion. She keeps saying she never thought about being pregnant and that this will shatter her 'career' objectives, etc. We'll got to the gyne next week to see how many weeks the pregnancy is, but she's really for a quick fix. I'd like to know from those who've had abortion, how do you feel afterwards? As a girl/woman? Also I'd like to know from the boys/men, how did u feel after your girlfriend/wife decided to have the abortion?
2007-02-24 05:11:33 · update #1
ask her to have the baby, and if she is not ready to take care of it, let her know that you will take full responsibility for the child and raise it with or without her. If not that then at least adoption. Let her know that if you mean anything to her at all, she has got to realize that you can't really be on board with abortion, and that that sort of regret lingering over you can kill your relationship.
Congratulations for standing up and being the right kind of man.
And 4 months can be enough to know you are ready. My parents began dating & 2 months later mom was pregnant (although they had already gotten engaged) another 2 months, and she was married. They have been very happily married for 40 years. You know what is in your heart. Sit down & talk to her.
Sorry you are in such a position. I hope that all goes well.
after reading your additional details, i will add this, while i have never been pregnant, or had an abortion, my ex-husband's 1st wife had one while they were married. She had 7 yr old twins and did not feel she was ready for another baby. I never discussed it with her, so i do not know his feelings. But he had taken the opinion that it was her body, so her decision. He regretted the fact that she had terminated the pregnancy, and it was something that he dealt with for many years. If she is determined to have an abortion, ultimately, you can not stop her. I would definately evaluate the relationship. It sounds as though the 2 of you have a completely different set of standards & opinions. I personally don't feel that a relationship can overcome a disagreement of this magnitude.
2007-02-23 19:12:29 · answer #1 · answered by picture . . . perfect 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
each woman ovulates at a diverse time. you won't be in a position to continually place self belief in the ovulation calculators on line. they are actually not continually precise exceptionally in the journey that your female buddy has a standard cycle. that's achievable for sperm to stay interior the physique for countless days so despite if she ovulated 3 days when you had intercourse, then specific it may nonetheless paintings. As for the 18 weeks pregnant, sixteen weeks gestation, that basically skill that this is been 18 weeks because of the fact the commencing up of her final era the place they start up counting her being pregnant, however the child is relatively sixteen weeks developed. you rather need to believe your female buddy and be open along with her. you may rather talk approximately this in the journey that your going to be with one yet another for the long corridor. this isn't any good to flow via existence doubting your love and baby. good success and relax.
2016-10-01 21:51:32 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude please remain firm with your conviction... You have said that you are ready to assume paternity, then try to tell her this and she may keep the baby for you. If will not take so long to keep the baby in your girlfriend's womb although it will really mean pain in some sorts and also condemnation from her parents. Honestly tell her how you wish to have your baby born nicely, and if she doesnt want to continue the relationship after the delivery then assure her that she will be free to move on. Promise her that you will be a good father to your child and she will be most welcome to see the baby at her options. A lot of couples failed their marriage because they cant have a baby, in your case you are so lucky that an angel is about to come for you, tell your girlfriend that not everyone is given this chance.
2007-02-23 19:20:55 · answer #3 · answered by tom_kite 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with her and ask her if she's positive that she doesn't want to keep the baby.If she says she's sure, ask her to have the baby but when the baby is born to give the baby over to you.I don't think getting married will change her mind anyway because you've only been together for 4 months.
2007-02-24 15:41:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are just as much the parent as she is.
There is always the option that you get the child and you raise it on your own.
You have parental rights
Another option is adoption. Many families are looking for a child to raise and love.
The worse thing for a child is to be in a family that really isn't a family.
If you are mature enough to be having sex, you need to be prepared to be a parent.
2007-02-23 20:49:28 · answer #5 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your baby too. Pain can't justify killing a baby. It's a life at stake here. Having unprotected sex means you have to be responsible for the consequences whether she likes it or not. I don't believe in abortion either. and I think it's you two's decision, not just hers.
2007-02-23 19:14:40 · answer #6 · answered by Deesa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want to marry her this is the time to propose. She may not want to have a baby cuz she wants more stability. Being with someone 4 months isn't a long enough time to end up having their child.
2007-02-23 19:12:10 · answer #7 · answered by MISS KNIGHT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take up the responsibility and get married and raise your kid up like a good father.
Don't let mistakes begat more mistakes in your life.
2007-02-23 19:32:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
propose to her and say only will marry her if she keeps baby
cuz its a symbol of ur love
2007-02-23 20:43:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her to go thru with the pregnacy and sign all paternity rights over to you.
2007-02-23 19:11:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋