How can I be supportive of my diabetic son?

Question

My son was dx with type I diabetes just over a year ago. He is 14 years old now. He was doing well for awhile, but lately it's been very difficult to get him to test his sugar, to take his pill, to watch his carbs, etc. He will overeat and not take any corrective insulin, so his numbers go pretty high sometimes. Obviously, the goal is to keep the blood sugar within a certain range. He has become stubborn about the whole thing, and I'm not sure if this has to do with his age or if it is the diabetes itself. I think he might still be in denial about the whole thing. He will take his insulin though and is able to inject it himself, so that's a really good thing. This diabetes has been tough for all of us in the family but I can't imagine how he must feel. I want to help him without being a nagging mother!

Thanks for all these answers so far! Great info and advice.

I just wanted to add that my son does NOT show any interest in a support group or camp at this time. I've suggested it a few times and he just says "no." I feel badly for him because he DOES feel like he's the only one in the world that has to deal with this. I just feel like if he could get to know a guy his age that could relate (even online) it would really help him out.

Again, thanks for your answers, everyone!

Answer 1

A combination of the pressure of the diabetes and the age. Teenagers (speaking from experience) do not like being told what they have to do, especially if it is something he would deem "uncool". I would guess that is part of it.

About not wanting to be a nagging mother... c'mon now. Seriously. This is a teenage boy - trying to help with anything is going to seem like you are a nagging mother. Don't worry about that. I would recommend that somehow, you try to convince him that there is nothing embarassing about it...

He probably feels as though he is the only person who has diabetes and feels weird. Try to encourage him to meet new people - see if you can find some who also have diabetes who he can make friends with.

Another thing you can do (obviously, talk to your diabetes consultant about this) may be to hook him up to an insulin pump. It will keep him at a steady rate and to do corrective insulin, you just have to push a couple buttons - which is much "cooler" than having to inject a shot.

If he is a sports fan, try finding some information about Adam Morrison - he is a basketball player for the NBA's Charlotte Bobcats. He is diabetic - in fact, during games, he is seen at time checking his blood sugar or giving himself shots (he wears an insulin pump off-court). More so at Gonzaga (where he went to school), but I've seen it with Charlotte as well.

Good luck!

Answer 2

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Answer 3

It's not so easy to be a diabetic as a teenager, in many ways, younger children do better with the disease. It's a very bad combination of trying to forge your own identity, which involves in no small part not doing what your parents say to do (which is probably the quintessential teen experience, if you figure out how to get around that, write a book and make millions ^_^). It's also not easy to be a type I diabetic, I don't have to tell you how much time and care must go into really keeping the disease under control. The problem is that the disease doesn't care about why, poor control is poor control and it will have consequences over time.
The fact is that the better diabetes is controlled over time, the longer your son (or any other diabetic) will be able to go before he develops complications of the disease, the longer he will live, and the healthier he will be. Taking insulin without knowing blood sugar levels can be dangerous, he could take too much and end up hypoglycemic or take too little and have poor control (he's unlikely to go into ketoacidosis and end up in the hospital as long as he's taking insulin unless it's way less than he needs).
Everyone with diabetes, especially type I, has to learn to take responsibility for control of the disease himself, and that involves multiple daily fingersticks and insulin based on the expected sugar load of food and blood sugar level. It's not easy, it requires constant vigilance, and it will set him apart from his peers at a time when he's particularly sensitive to that, but it'll help him live a longer, better life.
There are no easy answers to the delicate balancing act of getting him to do it, but it's very important, both now and for the long term.

Answer 4

Are there any camps or diabetic teen groups in your area? Maybe if he knows kids his own age dealing with the same issues, he'll feel less like a freak and become more compliant with treatment.

Edit: OK I understand that he doesn't want a camp or support group at this time. There are some online resources. There are some yahoo groups that are children and teens with diabetes. Maybe he can join one of those and meet some people. The best part about it is if he doesn't want to post, he doesn't have to but can read what others have to say. Also on the ADA web site I think they have a teen message board. I empathize with your son. It's hard enough to be a teen without having a chronic condition on top of it. Good luck to you both!

Answer 5

Okay...I was diagnosed at 13. That is nearly 19 years ago.
I went though my high school years not taking my blood sugar. I probably didn't take it for two years total. I would take my shots w/o a problem, but not the blood sugars.
My parents were not very supportive. My stepdad told me once that I wouldn't have kids if I didn't control my blood sugars. My mom did not know enough about Type 1 to be of any support. She was more concerned with what the doctors said about my sugar control than she was trying to help me deal with it. She once told me just that "Deal with it because it isn't going away."
I wanted to not have the responsibility of it. I didn't want to be different from everyone else.
He is going through the emotions of a "loss" of sorts. He knows what he has to do. I would suggest a support group for young adults! Please, do not take him to one filled with a bunch of older people who have Type 2.
Please, do not FORCE him to do anything. Don't nag him about his sugar levels, don't tell him what to eat. Gentle reminders and have his doctor educate him more.
I actually had a doctor who had been Type 1 since he was a teenager and that was great because he knew what I was going through.
Hang in there mom--it will get better.
BTW--19 years later and I still (knock on wood) don't have ANY complications!

Answer 6

You can limit his sugar intake by limiting what's available in your house. It will be hard for you, but the best way to be supportive is to jump in there and suffer the hard times with him. Eat what he eats, and look for new things he can have that are tasty but won't have a negative impact on him. He is 14, and while the general idea is that he should know better, the truth is that he is behaving childishly. As a mother, you know you have to protect him, even from himself if need be. If that means not allowing him out of your sight because you can't trust him to eat properly, so be it. Until he is responsible for himself, you have to be responsible for him. He will thank you for it when he makes it to adulthood with his eyesight intact.

You don't have to nag, you just have to tell him how it's going to be and stick with it. Nagging is basically giving him "one more chance" to do what he ought. He doesn't need "one more chance". He knows good from bad, and whether he likes it or not this is a situation where there is not room to compromise.

If necessary, ask him if he wants to see a counselor about it. This isn't easy on him, the poor kid, but it will be harder on him in the long run if you don't take some control over the situation.

Best luck to you and your family.

Answer 7

you must sit down with him and inform him on what all can happen if he doesnt control his blood sugar level.

complaination are:
Dental Problems
Eye Problems
Foot Problems
Heart Disease
Hyperglycemic Hyperosmolar Nonketotic Syndrome
High Blood Pressure
Hyperglycemia
Hypoglycemia
Infections
Ketoacidosis
Kidney Damage
Nerve Damage
Skin Problems
Stroke

seems most teens don't fully understand what diabetes is and what could happen if they don't contro it. tell him as long as he controls it, he will be fine

he will thank youin the future when he realizes you were right about controling his Blood sugar levels

Answer 8

it is denial. i did the same thing when i was dx last year. i'm a paramedic and i know what can happen. it is not the diabetes dong it, it is just he is having a hard time to adjust. he might think it is a disablity. it is not as long you learn how to control it.

Answer 9

When I was diagnosed with diabetes, I was nearly blind from my sugar levels being so screwy. You need to stress to him that this is not something as mild as a headache or a rash, but that if he does not control it, he could go blind, or lose a leg, or die.