my ex bf gave me herpes?

Question

i'm really mad!!! i'm not a whore what so ever... he was my first real boyfriend and i was 17... all the other boys i never gave them chance, but i gave my ex one. did he not know he had herpes? or did he jsut care... i know he hasn't ever gotten tested... why would he do something like that! man some guys are just plain low life's

Answer 1

I know exactly where you are coming from.

I contracted genital herpes over 6 years ago at the age of 17 too.

To this day the guy I contracted it from still denies he ever had the virus. But, it doesn't really matter who or where. You have it now and there is nothing you can do but move on. I know it's coming to your as a shock right now and I'm sure you are going through a wave of emotions, but don't worry it gets better - life goes on.

Just take care of yourself, take your meds, and be careful who your sleep with! Men lie all the time about STDs (women do too though).

Genital herpes is pretty common so you are not alone. According to the CDC 1 in 4 women have it and about 1 in 5 men have the virus. Having genital herpes makes you more susceptible to contracting other STDs though, so be careful! Take care and don't worry, with time you should be just fine!

Answer 2

Actually I understand that 1 in 4 people have herpes but 90% are unaware of this, not the 1 in 7 like previously stated above. Also when given an STD test, the herpes test is not automatically done although it should be, you have to request this special in addition to the regular tests.

Regardless, this is the chance you take when you have sex. I understand that you thought you loved this person very much and you feel betrayed right now. Know that this is not the end of the romantic line for you, although I'm sure in the future you will be much more cautious.

If he was aware of his herpes status and didn't tell you then he is scum and this is how innocent people get the shaft when it comes to this. It's not an excuse but a lot of people also believe that if they are not experiencing an outbreak then the other person can't contract it. This is just plain ignorance, and they haven't been taught any better.

My friend was this person until she was in her mid 30's then she finally realized there's this thing called "shedding" and you can be doing it at any given time and pass it along. She was considered "scum" for quite sometime until she found out this little tidbit.

Good luck, and I'm so sorry you have to deal with this, espeically at such a young age.

Answer 3

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Answer 4

Having herpes is not a death sentence, it's also not the big bad std that people make it out to be at least it's not HIV or some life threatening illness. Yes you should have been honest with him before you had sex but it's too late to say that now. It's hard to tell people news like that but the best thing you can do is have a private talk with him and tell him. It's hard to deal with emotionally at first, but over time he will see that he was being a drama queen for nothing. You may want to ask him where he thinks he may have it from and ask him if he was tested or if he just thinks he has it. If he only thinks he has it then tell him he should get tested to make sure. A lot of things can look like herpes with out being herpes. Just like you he could have contracted it from a past partner. He might be upset and want some time to re think this relationship. But since you both have herpes you don't have to worry about reinfecting each other or using protection. Try to get him to calm down, after he is over being a drama queen try talking to him and get him.

Answer 5

He probably had no Idea he had herpes. Many people show little to no symptoms. And, unless you specifically ask to be tested for herpies with a blood test, he would never be tested. And, only certain clinics give the blood test. I have a friend that would go to a free clinic every year and ask to be tested for ALL Std's. So, he assumed thats exactly what they did. Turns out, they never tested for herpies. Also, having herpies DOES NOT make you a whore. Ignorant people came up with that rumor. Fact is, men or women you talk to everyday, could have herpies. 1 in 4 people have either herpes 1 or 2. So, are they all whores?

I know your hurting now, and first thing you want to do is lash out at who gave it to you. But, it's going to be ok. The outbreaks can be irritating, but there are medicines and creams you can use to sooth them. Outbreaks become less and less also.

Answer 6

My best friend has had genital herpes for about eight months now, and it's been really rough. She's had about 7 outbreaks. Everywhere I read it says it stops flaring up so much after time, but its not getting less frequent for her. She's been on Antiviral meds the whole time, too. She also has type 1 diabetes which she has had her whole life, which really weakens her immune system. Will it ever get better?

But after a friend share this video everything has changed.
Natural Safe Herpes Remedy?

Answer 7

Having Herpes can be a scary thing to think about but dont let it ruin your life, there is no cure for herpes and it will not kill you, You can get medications to help "supress" the symptoms of herpes, you can also get more information about herpes at the website below.

Answer 8

Some people are just selfish or unkind when it comes to herpes. Ive met people who know they have it but have unprotected sex anyways because its not a deadly disease and they feel its ok to pass on. As to why specifically your boyfriend gave it to you, the only person that knows the answer to that is him..and really if he's been so careless as to not check himself this whole time..any answer he gives should end with "and im a dumbass"

Answer 9

sweetie, it is possible that he did not know he had it or it could be that maybe he did and just didnt tell you. if thats the case then yes, he is a low life. i was given the same thing when i was your age (now 25) and it was hard. although you have no idea since this little 'present' lays dormant, you could have had it for a while and not known. if you want to talk let me know and i will give you my email to talk. i also helped a girl like you out in this situation except she was alot more scared than pissed off.

Answer 10

I can totally relate.I am gay I had a boyfriend 6 yrs ago and he gave me HIV after swearing he didn't have it and had been tested.I showed him my test and I should have insisted on his.But I was a big time drinker and drug user and very dumb.So I feel for you.Your doctor can prescribe acyclavir for outbreaks.I get cold sores and thats herpes also.Good luck hon and sorry this guy did this to you.