How would a veg'an cook for a meat-eating spouse?

Question

If you're a ve'gan and you have a spouse who eats meat, do you cook the meat for them? Do you not, and tell the person that if they want to eat meat, they need to buy and cook it themselves?

moviegirl said:
"That would be like asking a Jew or a Muslim to cook pork for a non-jew or muslim spouse."

EXCELLENT point, I like your thinking! I'm single and vegan for ethical reasons (the vegan part, not the single part), but was wondering what I'd do if I married a meat eater. Good point you made. Jews and Muslims who *choose* to follow their religion, do abstain from eating pork (or anything not kosher/halal) because of religious/ethical reasons. Why, then, would moral veganism be any different? Thank you, excellent point you made!

moviegirl said:
"That would be like asking a Jew or a Muslim to cook pork for a non-jew or muslim spouse."

EXCELLENT point, I like your thinking! I'm single and vegan for ethical reasons (the vegan part, not the single part), but was wondering what I'd do if I married a meat eater. Good point you made. Jews and Muslims who *choose* to follow their religion, do abstain from eating pork (or anything not kosher/halal) because of religious/ethical reasons. Why, then, would moral veganism be any different, or be treated as anything less important? Thank you, excellent point you made!

Oops, sorry 'bout that, didn't mean to repeat myself. Ignore the 2nd paragraph altogether, I added to it, which wound up being the 3rd paragraph.

As for the apostrophe, it's placed because this question is for both vegetarians and vegans. The apostrophe is quicker than writing, "vegetarians and vegans."

Answer 1

Most of the most content families I have seen have done the following. If the vegan is the main cook she cooks a vegan meal for both of them as the main family meal. The spouse is free to eat meat outside of the home and can fix theirselves a piece of meat to accompany the meal if they wish. It only takes 10 minutes to slap a hamburger, chicken breast, or steak in a countertop grill. When they go out to eat they agree to seek out restaurants that have both meals available. This way is good because each is respectful of the other's wishes. It is important to be respectful of the other in any relationship. If one wants to turn it into a "power struggle" then they need counseling.

Answer 2

If "psycho-cook" is indeed psycho, it's not in the kitchen. It's hard to put that better.

Particularly:

"This way is good because each is respectful of the other's wishes. It is important to be respectful of the other in any relationship."

Quite unlike the 'I'd leave her if she didn't cook meat.' Good for you. Why bother answering the question, though?

How you cook something without ever having tasted it (the 'energy' I'm missing? What on earth...?), I have no idea. And I'd figure stuff I'd cook without tasting would turn out pretty bad, so...

Er. Why the apostrophe in "vegan"?

Anyway -- yeah, I think that is what most couples do. My parents are quite happy that way; my father recently mentioned to Mr Kmennie that (1) it's healthier for him, eating less meat, and (2) that my father appreciates meat more when he does eat it. And it does take mere minutes to cook up a bit of meat to add to a vegetarian/vegan meal. We often make stuff like spaghetti with two sauces; it's not a big deal.

This discussion onthe topic:
http://ask.metafilter.com/mefi/55386
is worth reading.

Answer 3

I would never cook meat for a spouse or anyone. I've vegan because of ethical concerns. That would be like asking a Jew or a Muslim to cook pork for a non-jew or muslim spouse. no one would ever ask that. If I married a non-vegan we would have to have to sets of dinner and cookware because I wouldn't want to eat off plates that have had that on it.

Answer 4

Thus far, it's not been a problem for us. I'm vegan, my husband will eat almost anything. (I cringe at some of the stuff he does, though, like Hot Pockets, microwaving soup in a plastic bowl, which he says is quicker than the stove. Nope. And it's less messy. I digress.)

However, most of the meals we seem to do together, though, involve pasta with tomato sauce, rice and veggies (to which I'll occasionally add beans or tofu) canned soup (neither of us have taken the time to play with making homemade soup), and sandwiches (he has grilled cheese; I have grilled "cheeze") and pancakes. (Eventually, we're going to swtich to whole grain pancakes.)

He even likes my vegan chocolate cake.

As I said, it's been easy thus far, for the past two years, but I am not sure what is going to happen with kids. That will be a whole new ball game.

I hope I've helped...

Answer 5

I'm vegan. I married a man that grew up eating meat and potatoes. He knew way back when we were dating that I would never cook meat, not even for him. He didn't have a problem with it, after all, he could eat meat if he chose to cook it himself or go out to eat. But, he never did that. I considered it a part of me (being vegetarian/vegan) and if he didn't like that, then he should not be with me. He always enjoyed my cooking for us. Now, after almost six years of marriage he is vegan too!! I never said he had to do it either. After eating healthy vegan meals, I think he grew accustomed to it and very much likes it. People can grow and change, especially after witnessing someone else's lifestyle. So, stand your ground. It is not impossible to change a meat and pototatoes man into a vegan. If not, then look for someone else to date.

Answer 6

I would simply pass off fake meat as real meat to the spouse. You can hide the veggie smell with a bit of vanilla. To really fool your meat eater put the veggy fake meat in a empty meat wrapper. Many Stores have extra wrappers and won't hesitate to sell U some! Fake meat recipe: Canned Pumpkin, oatmeal, wheatgerm or bran, soya sauce.. mix together... cook in oil
Use a few drops vanilla in the oil to imitate the meat smell. Fools most meat eaters.. not everyone though!

Answer 7

I cook thing I don't like for people all the time, and i am not a chef, I just do it because it makes people happy.

It is called compromise in a relationship

You should get a cook book and learn to cook....hell take a bite, you might find that energy you gain from eating meat refreshing, after all, that is why it is here in the first place.
You are a carnivore by nature!! veggie by choice. If it does not have meat and is not chocolate, I don't eat it.

If i had a woman that refused to cook for me, i would leave her.
especially since I can cook too. I cooked thanksgiving dinner for my entire family this past year. Yes, I am a man who knows his way around the kitchen!

Answer 8

It depends on if you can handle cooking the meat. If it is something that turns your stomach that you probably won't be able to. I think it would be considerate, however to think of your spouses needs and eating habits. Just because you chose a vegan lifestyle for yourself, doesn't mean that you can't cook means for your spouse that they would like. Talk to your spouse about it. Hopefully you both can respect each other's eating habits and cook meals that will suit each other. I am a lenient vegitarian (I'll eat eggs, and sometimes fish and chicken, but rarely). I still cook steaks and other meat for my fiance, and I enjoy making food he enjoys. When he cooks for me, he respects my choices. It's all about what you can handle and how much you enjoy cooking for your loved one.

Answer 9

Ask him to buy and cook the meat himself, if not.. try cooking fish. Take it out of the package, but it in an oven safe dish, throw a little butter, salt, pepper, fresh parsley, cover with foil.. and 20 min. later at 350 he has his meat. lol

Answer 10

If you are vegan, you should not be expected to purchase or prepare meat. If they arent supportive enough of you to only eat meat out, then I wouldnt cook for them. When I first went vegan, I did cook it for my daughter, but only long enough to transition her from it. She is now vegan too at age 12.