What to ask the doctor when getting checked for STDs (which ones?) due to an unfaithful wife.?

Question

So I just found out that my wife was unfaithful over the past summer. She said she used a condom (not that a condom makes it better or right) for the actual intercourse...but that he rubbed himself all around down there on her. While this was over the summer...I am sure that what ever I got (or didn't get) has already been given. Since she is my wife I don't use condoms...why would I? In any case, I am going to the doctor tomorrow to have blood work done. I want to be checked for everything and anything. What do I specifically ask for? Obviously HIV/AIDS...but what else. She is actually coming with me and getting tested too. I want to know what she should ask for also.

The next question is whether or not to stay or leave. She and I were trying to get pregnant this month...and there is a chance that she is pregnant now. She asked me if I wanted her to go to the clinic and get a "pill" or something. I am at a complete loss.

Needless to say, my day has been crummy.

Answer 1

Just ask for an STD Screen....the doctor will know which tests to run to rule out any STDs.
Only you can decide if you want to stay with her.....good luck,

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

Hi there. Sorry to hear about your wife.

In regards to the doctor - just let him know the circumstances. I would ask him to just check you for everything! The most common STD's are ones like chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis, HPV (or genital warts), syphilis, or herpes, and AIDS of course.

But obviously, there are more, and since you will be there, you may as well get checked for everything.

Now, whether to stay or leave is not something other people can tell you. It depends on many factors: Do you still love her, Does she love you, Is she sorry for what she did?, Can you ever trust her again?, Do you think you can get over it in time?

Obviously the chance of her being pregnant complicates things as well. But even if she is, I wouldnt use that as a basis for staying together unless you really think that you can forgive and move on. You can still have a meaningful relationship with your child whether you are with the mother or not. However, if you think you can forgive and move forward, a happy home with both parents is a blessing for a child.

Good luck, I hope you have not caught anything, and I hope you can make a decision that will be the right one for you.

Answer 4

Man it does sound like your day has been really crummy. When you go to the doctor if you explain that you want to be tested for STD's the doctor will know what to do. Explain the situation and it might be really hard for both of you but your wife should have to go threw the pain but unfortunatly you will be the one hurting. If you think she might be pregnant have a test done tomorrow. It might be too early but you never know. If she is that is something that you will have to decide whether you want to keep the baby that is a part of you and of course that baby will remind you of her also. But always remember it was not the babies fault. On the side of what you should do about her......once a cheater...ALWAYS a cheater. I dont care what they say but they are. I am a divorced single mom of two boys and my ex cheated on my THREE times. I kept taking him back because he like the security of the home but wanted his fun on the side. To save yourself more heartache than not....it wouldnt be wise to stay but only you can make that decision and take the advice that I gave and what everyone else will too. Things will be hard either way. If you stay you have to get over the fact that she did and you cant rub it in her face because you accepted it and you stayed....if you dont stay and move on with you life....live a happy one and it will be hard reestablishing everything that you once already had. Take Care and I feel for you but I am living proof that no matter how bad it is....the only thing that can dig you out is yourself.

Answer 5

I am so sorry to hear about your situation. When you go to the doctor tell them that you want tested for everything explain your situation. They will have to draw a few tubes of blood. You should also be tested for HBV and HCV. As far as staying or leaving goes only you and her can make that decision no one else. Part of marriage is to forgive and forget. If this was a one time thing and she is truly sorry then I would suggest that you move on with your life's together. However if you find out that this is a habitual habit then I would suggest that you move on alone. I would suggest that you to try to work it out through some sort of marriage counseling. If you do stay together i feel that in years to come you both will regret not keeping the baby. Good luck with what ever you decided you have some serious talking and thinking ahead of you.

Answer 6

first of all im sorry to hear the bad news and second of all yall need to be honest with the doctor and u can request to b checked for every std that there is i would request that so that u wont still b wondering if u have this or that in the future and i have to tell u that it really a choice 4 u to make on the staying or leaving if she is pregnant i would not recomend taking a pill to do away with the pregnancy its not the babies fault follow ur heart if u can honestly forgive then its worth working on if not dont make both of yalls lives hell by trying 2 stay good luck

Answer 7

Unfaithful wife that's a new one everyone always seems to think that only men are unfaithful.

That good that you are going to get tested "good luck"
I can't seem to understand why a woman that is trying to to get pregnant found it necessary to go have an affair.

You should be at a complete loss and whether to stay or leave is all up to you. Do you think you can actually trust her?

Answer 8

I have no experience (thank goodness) in checking for STD's but after reading what an awful day you've had I just had to let you know how sorry I am that all of this has come down on you in one day.

Ask the doctor what you should be concerned about and what tests to have.

As for your wife.........um, I have no comment...well not a good one anyway. What the heck was she thinking???????

Take care of yourself. Make decisions you can live with.... not rash choices made with no thought given.

Answer 9

First of all, when going to the doctors, be truthful with them. I went thru the same thing with my husband. I let my gyno know that I was there to get tested for STD because of a cheating spouse. They are always understanding and will recommend what test they will do. Most of the time, they test for everything. Just tell them you want to get tested for everything. Second of all, if you and your wife are going thru these problems, please do not get pregnant. Bringing a child into this situation is very difficult because if you are not sure you want to stay with her it will make it more difficult to leave do to obligations with your child. No child deserves to be raised with parents that don't trust (or possibly) don't love each other. I believe that if a person cheats, he no longer respects or loves his/her companion. Good luck.

Answer 10

Just tell the doctor your situatuon and he will know what to do....as for leaving her.. I'd leave her ***....how can you ever trust her again? If she did it once she will probably do it again. Have you ever cheated on her? (just asking cause maybe she did it as one of those get back at you kinda things) If she is preggo i know that makes the situation alot more difficult but I would still support her in every way she needs but I wouldnt be with her. That is my own personal thing..but if she isnt preggo..l would leave. Good luck