A very loud, unattractive, hard-faced woman walks into Tesco with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The door greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Tesco, nice children you've got there. Are they twins?"
The fat ugly woman stops screaming long enough to snarl: "Of course they bloody aren't! The oldest is nine and the youngest is seven. Why the hell would you think they're twins?..... Do you
really think they look alike, you d1ckhead?"
"Absolutely not," replies the greeter, "I just can't believe anyone would shag you twice!"
2007-01-15 23:49:04 · 28 answers · asked by leedsmikey 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
missniked is looking at 10 points as she is obviously from round here.
2007-01-16 00:29:00 · update #1
Or Derbydave for having a similar identity.
2007-01-16 00:51:18 · update #2
Or prusec-int for blatant nepotism
2007-01-16 01:33:51 · update #3
haha ha you are more leeds near bradford then? i saw her only the other day hehe classic
2007-01-15 23:57:03 · answer #1 · answered by missnikid 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Love it - although I think I should the get 10 points because I'm from Headingley and as it turns out, I'm also the brother of the guy who used to rent a flat with my cousins former milkman, who is now the very same greeter that made that comment!
2007-01-16 01:07:35 · answer #2 · answered by prusec_int 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I like that.
Speaking of ugly women (although I dont shop at Tesco) Ive just discovered that, even though my bathroom scales are groaning, Im not overweight - I recon that I'm anorexic! Really...
You see I've read that when you are anorexic and you look in a mirror you see a big fat woman looking out. Well I do that!
2007-01-16 00:21:04 · answer #3 · answered by A Teesside Smart**** 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not only funny bur soooooo true! Why are all the women in Tescos fat and ugly?
2007-01-15 23:53:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I know her, she lives over the road from me. I see her everyday and I just shudder. I think she puts a paper bag over her head!
2016-05-24 22:20:23 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good one
2007-01-16 00:01:48 · answer #6 · answered by Mimi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this one was posted last week I think. Do you think there is a finite number of funny jokes? What goes round comes round.
2007-01-16 00:58:32 · answer #7 · answered by deepee 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Brill, I think we all know the woman(?) you're referring to. 10 / 10
2007-01-16 00:40:39 · answer #8 · answered by billtheangler 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not bad! I can use that at the Coop in Wythenshawe.
2007-01-16 00:04:43 · answer #9 · answered by McAtterie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good one!
Made me smile
2007-01-15 23:53:49 · answer #10 · answered by Janbull 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋