Am I Immature?

Question

I dont know but recently Ive been really down. Today I spoke with a 26 year old friend of mine and Im just 18 and I felt really immature. I mean Ive never had sex and when I asked her what it felt like she kind of looked at me wierd and said 'you have a lot to learn'. I feel stupid because I kept asking about people and kept talking about celebrities who she was less than interested in. I am so depressed now. She found out that I have low self esteem as well and I felt very embarrassed about that. I asked her about a friend of both of us and she blew me off and said that she cant tell me anything about the girl. I dont think she was trying to be rude, but I was still hurt. Do you guys have any suggestions on how I could act more mature? I hate being this way and I hate being a virgin. I know that this may be a stupid question but do you think that having sex would make me more mature? I feel so sad right now. Help!

Answer 1

Having sex to feel more mature would be a very immature thing to do. Maturity doesn't work that way. Being a virgin is a good thing and don't let anyone ever make you feel bad about it. You said you have low self esteem...well you need to work on loving yourself before you are intimate with someone else. Try counseling to help with your self esteem issues (it could really help). You and your friend may have just grown apart don't take it personally. Try to find some friends that are closer to your age and you will probably have more in common and more to talk about.

Answer 2

No, you should not have sex until you find the right person that you love and who loves you and when you feel like you are ready to take that step and not before. There are consequences to sex. If you have sex with the wrong guy and he doesn't call you the next day, you will not feel less depressed. It sounds to me like you could find better friends than these two. Depression and low self esteem are matters that have nothing to do with being a virgin or not. Depression can be treated. See a doctor about that.

Answer 3

There is a heck of a difference between 26 and 18 - so in her eyes you will seem immature - especially if she feels that she would not have behaved in the way you behave as an 18 year old when she was 18. Don't take it personally, chill and don't worry about still being a virgin - ceasing to be one will however not necessarily do anything for your maturity.

Answer 4

Just because your a virgin does not mean your immature. Maybe you need to learn about how the body works or something but if you go have sex because someone said that to you. I would think you as immature if you did that. Also as some said she is the one immature just because she is older does not mean anything. Maybe she has experience in sex but does not mean she has the brains to go with it. How you could act mature is possibly get another friend and dont have sex intill you are ready too.

Answer 5

Your friend is an absolute AIR HEAD! Never having sex has nothing to do with maturity. I feel sorry for the person she is going to marry.
To me you sound mature enough. The only thing i would tell you is to get rid of this girl you claim that she is a friend. She is not doing you any good.
Dont be sad, mate. She is not good enough to even be your friend.
One day you will look back and agree with me!
Take care all the best!.

Answer 6

Well - this is the worst place to be looking for a pep talk so I would agree that you are immature - but your only 18 and a 26 year old friend ought to recognize that - she doesn't sound like much of a friend. I can understand her not wanting to tell you what intercourse might feel like to her - but her reaction did not sound like that of a mature friend. If you really suffer from low-self esteem snap out of it and/or seek professional help. Do what you need to do.

Good Luck!!!

Answer 7

There is nothing wrong with being a virgin. You haven't had sex because the time and person has not yet come around. Act as you feel best -- that is the real sign of maturity, to be comfortable about being yourself. Other people's opinions are their opinions onl, not your reality.

Answer 8

Life is full of paths, ideas, and uncertain doubts. Don't go past the right turn. Having sex does NOT make you more mature. A mature person is self-confident, knows what she does in life and is generally happy with yourself. Don't let a "friend" of yours destroy that confidence in you. If she looks down on you, she's not worth knowing. Life is not about sex. It's about living. Fulfilling your life to the fullest is when you truly realize you are mature.

Answer 9

Hey... cheer up! There are some good answers here, so I won't repeat what they said, but you need to find nicer friends. Good friends don't blow you off, don't give you flip answers to important questions, and they genuinely care about you and your well-being! Also, about the sex thing... wait until you are with a guy that loves and respects you, and the key word there is "wait"! Maturity comes with time, and with the knowledge that you have been making good choices in your life, which you have, it seems. So give yourself some time, relax, have fun, and love yourself for the fine woman you are becoming! Good luck!

Answer 10

Sounds like you were never taught the "ropes"
i think ur not immuture.
ur very cerious which is very good. it does sound like u do have low self-esteem.
i think what would make u feel good is ask ur mother or a better friend. Sex is a powerful thing. I had sex the 1st time when i was 16 years old.
after that i wanted more, more,more. i used to skip school just to see my b/f. my point is if u wanna try having fun, research, dress better. make urself feel and look better.