my boyfriend and i had a fight last night,, we uttered things that werent supposed to be uttered.. so we ended breaking up,, we love each other but it seems that we repeatedly hurt each other for some reasons that that we have been trying to resolve ever since. but unfortunately we're both irresponsible on our promises and we keep on doing it again and again.. after hurting and throwing sarcastic words to each other we tend to ask for forgiveness,, but... im tired... it seems like im in a carousel.. moving around in the same place,we're not moving forward,, but after all i still love him so much and i cant accept the fact that being a philo studnt i cant even use my reasons..im consfuse whether to come to him right now and initiate the "sorry thing" ..anyway thats how we always end up.. or just simply go with the flow.. if he wont come to me..then be it.. but it seems that there something in me that holds me back...
what am i to do??
2007-01-15 22:17:52 · 13 answers · asked by krishna 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
the bottom line is if this has happenned over and over again, it's not gonna change......
sukky eh?!!!! tell me about it......
sweetie, I've been there done that and this type of relationship doesn't work out......the sooner you listen to your gut instincts the better, save yourself some heartache hun...
try staying single for a while until you've figured out yourself and your own personal strenghts, goals, dreams, etc...once you are a secure individual the right kind of men will be knockin at your door........
I'm dead serious.....what's holdin you back is you tellin you that enough is enough already.....destructive relationship ring a bell???
2007-01-15 22:30:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh you poor sweetie! Now first have you tried telling him that you feel this way and explain that you are tired. If you feel like you dont get a satisfactory answer then that may help you with the answer to your problem. I personally think that for you there is fork in the road and it can go either way. So try to work out what is most important to YOU. Alot of people say nasty things to each other in the heat of the moment but if it is all the time then thats not good for either of you. On the other hand alot of people stay together for the comfort of a relationship which is then very bad. Look deep inside you know what to do and what ever you decide do not look back. Live with no regrets. Best of luck chicky !!!
2007-01-15 22:28:20 · answer #2 · answered by bossw2006 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Read your letter to yourself--over and over--do you see what you are lacking??? Communication skills....fights and shouting and bad words thrown at each other are simply a way of showing that you two don't know how to handle issues or discuss them in a sane manner. Sounds like a relationship headed for disaster---you better move on and give some thought to how you express yourself and admit you deserve a better man than what you have. The word love here is simply something you grasp because yyou don't want to split up---but there doesn't seem to be love as it is defined normally. Love is a culmination of respect, integrity, courtesy, caring, sharing, and lots of other stuff...you probably don't have that at this point in time---so stop using that word. It is also a crutch to hold you up while you cling to the remnants of what you thought you had. Too many men out there that do not do what he does.--fight and cause hard feelings. I don't know your ages but you seem to be young--maybe too young for a steady boy at this time. Loving couples do not act the way you two do. You should reconsider how you speak also---I doubt this is all his fault. Good luck and have a really nice life
2007-01-15 22:32:01 · answer #3 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can do is to do what you feel in your heart. Love does strange things to people, it'll make you disregard the obvious, but thats what love is -- a state of vulnerabiltiy. You can never know whether you are making the right decision, you can only let the relationship run its course if it's meant to end. By going against your heart and breaking it off any sooner than it ended won't help bring closure to relationship. You will always have regret and wonder what "if". Do what your heart feels, and you never know, maybe things will work out, maybe he is your soulmate. Imagine making a rash decision and letting him go because you didn't follow your heart?
2007-01-15 22:31:58 · answer #4 · answered by gg55 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like a roller coaster. Do you want to do this forever? How much more time are you willing to invest in this? What is the negative impact this is having on you? Are you giving away your self respect to have a relationship? If so, this is a high price indeed.
I think you should try and move on. Get a book on codependancy because this relationship sounds like it is not good for either of you. There is a great book called Dealing with the CrazyMakers in Your life by Dr. David Hawkins. There is another one called Boundaries in Dating can't recall the author.
2007-01-15 22:30:14 · answer #5 · answered by Guinness Guy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make a list out of what is good about the situation and him on one side of a piece of paper and what is bad on the other. If you keep going in circles there is something wrong with the relationship so you both have to figure out what that is or try another relationship. Don't say you are sorry unless you really mean it and intend to not do whatever you are sorry about again and tell him not to tell you he is sorry unless he does the same thing!!
2007-01-15 22:29:11 · answer #6 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not try finding a new boy friend so you can have a comparison and ask your ex to do the same thing. This way if you're meant to be together, you'll be back together again. This time though, I'd recommend staying apart for a while...like four to six months, at least. Wish you luck there.
2007-01-15 22:22:27 · answer #7 · answered by babbles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey..looks like you got yourself inot a viscious circle of misunderstandings..and fights..according too me if you are so in love with the guy and if yu genuinely feel that you said some rather unkind words to him..go and apologize "only for your mistakes" and make sure he knows how he hurt you (by being straightforward and not sarcastic)..and have a heart to heart talk..if both of you feel that you'll are more miserable in the relationship then get packing and leave..and it seems to me that you'll must have tried other numerous ways to sort this out..if it doesnt work out..it doesnt..no use hanging on..
2007-01-15 22:26:46 · answer #8 · answered by shweta b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who ends up sayin there sorry first? Move on hun been there trust me, I did the same thing you did. Just go your seprate ways there is no use in hurting each other any more it only get's worse!
2007-01-15 22:23:58 · answer #9 · answered by pinkness775 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like you already know what to do. You aren't happy and people don't change. How long do you want to be "on the carousel"? Love should never hurt
2007-01-15 22:23:46 · answer #10 · answered by Mike M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋