What will should my sister do?

Question

Alittle background before I ask the question.
Ok my sister got pregant to a guy she did not know much about it was kind of fast but she had a son to him. Later they split before my nefrew was born because he tried to choke her. Well she later got a phone call from a officer looking him he skipped out of state. SHe asked alot of question and found out what he did. SHe found out he "touched" in nicer terms his own 2 girls from another relationship.

Question:
Her son is about 2 and she knows he will ask about his father what should she say to him? Should she ever let him meet him? Should she try to let them have a father son relationship?

Oh btw for people who think she is not old enough she is in her 30's. I am young because my mom had me at 40.

Answer 1

well the guy has to be a sicko in that case i feel sorry for your sister for getting mixed up with that kind of a person and he ought to be punished for what he did to her and his two other children

Answer 2

I no people think its right to tell the son the truth about his father, but think about the dramatic effects it will have on him when he is older. I am sorry to hear about your sisters bad experience and hope she is doing well now.
I think if she is ready and has someone trustworthy and proper to become a father figure then she should go for it.
I dont however think the biological father should or would legally have visitation rights with his history. What she says to her son about his real father is up to her, suggest that she should say that his father died just before he was born. I no it is harsh but imagine how hard it would be living with knowing your father is out there with that record.

Also she has to know that one day when he is older, he will probably try and find his father and may also find out the truth, this will cause hassle with your nefew and sister but atleast he wont have to deal with it at a young age which may lead him into depression.
With him knowing this at an older age, although it will be a shock at first, he will deal with it alot better compared to when he is younger.

Good luck and best wishes i hope everything turns out right. The best thing you could do is be there for your sister and dont let her or you dwell on it to much
Goodluck sweetie xoxoxo

Answer 3

If the father comes around and wants to see the boy then she will have to take him to court and show the court why she does not want him around the boy. Then the court will have to decide if he can have visitation. Sad but true. It does happen.

I think if the mother feels that her son should not be around this man, Who I do not call the boys father, then he boy should not be around him. She is the one raising him she is the one the went into labor with him and she is the one that is taking care of him.

It is up to her.

If a neighbor has 'touched' someone and she did not want her son around him no one would say anything, but because this man is the birth father then she has to some how prove that it is not good for the boy to be around.

Good Luck.

Answer 4

He should never be allowed to see his son. Thats a horrible thing to do and he doesnt deserve to live let alone have a family. But my family raises foster children and when they ask about their parents they tell them the truth..thats the only thing she can do and it will help him to understand later in life. Like at 2 she should say daddy is in trouble and cant be here. then when he gets older she could explain the Trouble he was in. because kids understand trouble and bad and stuff like that. Good Luck!!!

Answer 5

first of all, do not lie to the child. it is not always better for them to think a parent is dead. I can somewhat relate to this question, because my own father spent a few months in jail and several years on probation for "innapropriate contact with a minor". I was 20 at the time and had just had my first child, a girl. my children rarely ask about their grandfather, but when they do, i am honest with them. they know that mommy doesnt speak to or speak of granddad because he did some bad things and chose to take the wrong road in life and what i want for myself and them doesn't need to include that kind of person.My husband and i have 6 kids between the two of us. they all know as much truth as they need to, based on their age and maturity level. a couple of years ago, i did allow my son to meet my father through a trip with my sister. his curiosity was put to rest and hasnt asked about him anymore.
i guess the bottom line for your sis is not to lie to her kid. give him as much truth as he can handle at different stages in his life. surround him with other people who love him and it will be easier for him as he grows up.

Answer 6

You know that is very mature and caring that you asked this question about your sister. The only thing that I can say to you now is that time isn't here now; he's only two. Your sister will have to cross that bridge when the time is here and it can only be her decision.
In the meanwhile let's hope that he stays away, perhaps for good, cause he'll be doing everyone a favor.

Answer 7

I would sit down with your sister and tell her that she should waight until her son is older. That way he will understand more and will be able to make up his own mind about his father.
Never lie to him about his father as the truth will always come out and he will only be hurt,because you never told him the truth.
Not only that but your sister needs to be strong for her sons sack so make sure its at the right time and age.

Answer 8

If she does allow her son to visit with this "man" they should be supervised visits. Never leave him alone with this menace.

When we make bad choices we sometimes have bad consequences that go with them. Please learn from her mistakes. Choose a better partner for yourself (by all means get to know him VERY well!!), a better father for your child(ren), and a better role model for them as well.

Good luck!!!

Answer 9

No way! Better to tell son that his father died, but to let him have father-son relationships-never. Father is sick pervert, if he did that to his own children. disgusting.!

It would be better to your sister to find a man who will love this child as his own...

Answer 10

She seriously needs to have her tubes tied. She isn't mature enough to be having children yet. How can she teach a child right principals when she doesn't have the sense to avoid a situation like this. Sorry to be harsh but she just isn't parent material.
Age doesn't matter here. Immature & Ignorant transend the age barrier.