what should I do?

Question

Hi, I met a guy via net. he's very flirty sweet talking, affectionate but seem lost wanting tobe loved like I do. am normally very conservative - parents want a traditional female. but now at 30's found myself with no experience with man and getting nowhere. I decide to change to the other extreme end. I made a mistake by sleeping with him the first time we finally met (something I've never done before). He was very eager and i just follow my body's reaction. I know i couldnt separate sex with emotions as well. but seem I've been thinking about hime too much to conclude it's just sex. I did hint he was in my thought the next day. he respond with dont want have serious relationship now because of ... is it worth to initiate another proper date with him since the first one was casual because I was too nervous and told him to go out as friend only - pathetic me. dont want scare him off but really attracted to him belindly :(

Answer 1

Hi, i do sympathise with you, i am in the same boat, I have a guy i really like, we did have a relationship for about a year, things didn't work out for us, but i really thought he was the one, we didn't communicate for a year, because i was really hurt, but when did communicate, he wanted a quick kiss here and there, then he started mentioning sex, cause still i have feelings for this person, it didn't matter to me, i have never ever done anything like this before, but to him is only sex, i still care about him, i could text him, might not even get one back and if i do its just straightforward. He doesn't want commitment. Remember this if he is flirting and having sex with you, he will do the same to someone else, as soon as your back is turned he will not hesitate to go to someone else. I know you don't want to lose him, cause you think if you say no to him he won't to know, that might even be the case, we both have feelings for these guys, but they don't think the way we do, it is sad, they don't realise what they are missing, i see him everyday at work, and it does get hard, but sometimes you have to block your feelings. Men sometimes can be very stupid. If you think that there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.. take that thought out of your mind, i am speaking from experience, if you meet him again, just take as it comes, but careful with you your feelings, if it starts running away, say to yourself no - anyway good luck... Ruksana

Answer 2

You've learned the hard way that sex on a first date is not a good idea. The thing is he already suspects that you are after a 'relationship' and that is guaranteed to make any man run for the hills. I think you are going to have to put this down to experience and move on. Before you date anyone else get yourself a copy of 'Mars & Venus On a Date' by John Grey and read it a couple of times before you go our with anyone else. You won'tmake mistakes like this one again.

Answer 3

if he doesn't want a relationship then basically he's going to end up wanting to be with you for casual sex. Its funny the saying the way to a man's heart is food and a woman's is sex. Lol find another guy if what you want is a relationship because you're not going to find one out of the smooth talker that talked you into sex. You should always find out the other persons relationship goals before having sex with them to avoid this.

Answer 4

i think that its all because of ur conservative backround
dont get to emotional on first dates and people u dont know .
what u have done is fine and u shouldnt have a problem with it . try to get to know a lot people and act as u feel . there is nothing wrong with giving in to our needs or feelings .
u should experience all in life in order to find out what u like , want , e.t.c.

good luck

Answer 5

put it down as an experience, and make sure the next time it doesnt happen again.

i wouldnt let it stop you meeting other guys, we aint all like that.

Answer 6

he sounds bad i have a traditinal values as well
i am sweet and funny like to have a good time
do you like younger men?
i like older women.
i am very well built six pack and huge arms
dark hair and hansome

Answer 7

learn from this..dont be a slapper.