I need HELP building up my SELF ESTEEM!?

Question

I have problems with my self esteem. I have a hard time accepting compliements and I usually feel down about myself. I compare myself to other girls and don't feel as pretty. Its so bad at times I avoid
going out to public places that I need to go to because I am embarrased/ashamed/feel down on myself. I have been doing very good lately and have been more positive and have noticed a little bit of a difference. This has really affected my life. I don't go out on dates, I avoid social gatherings I prefer to be alone and not seen. My friends and family all tell me how pretty I am but *I* want to feel good about myself! Any suggestions ???? Please NO rude, uncalled for remarks I will REPORT abuse . I am here because I need help, not to get beaten up over something so personal. Thank you and God Bless.

Answer 1

Esteem others first, your self esteem will follow.

Answer 2

ayyyyyyy! girl? why are you so down on yourself?

From your writings I feel you must be young and perhaps in your teen years. Let me tell you a little story... I used to be very popular in high school and pursued modeling til I was 20 years old. At 24 I met this incredible guy who I am still dating after 3 years. This is the guy that didn't have his first girl friend till he was 20! He was the white version of Steve Ercle (I have no idea how you spell it).... today he's a hot intelligent scientist, who has an ex model as a girl friend.
I'm telling you, if you look at his high school pictures you won't even recognize him.
The moral of the story is that looks are very easy to fix if you're not happy with yourself. It's what's inside you that really counts. I'm not lying when I say I have seen some of the most ugliest people in the modeling world... these girl won't go far in life as all they ever thought of was shallow, materialistic, and look-based subjects... the phase will last very shortly and after wards you need to have more than just a pretty face to present yourself with... there's a reason why they say inner beauty is more important than outer beauty...

Having that said, you can always make some easy changes to your appearance that can easily change your image (just like my bf did)... get a new hair style, I don't know if you wear makeup but you can always but some new products. Start taking care of your hair, nails, and skin, and trust me when I say you don't need to spend too much money on any of these... get some hip clothes (appropriate for your age) ...

Do you have any hobbies or talents? try to find friends with the same interests and become the best at what you do. You can always be proud of how much you achieve in a sport, school, or a talent...

Anyway, if you want any make over tips let me know and I'll be glad to help you out...

Just remember, the awkward years of teen years may seem long to you right now but the reality is that they are very short, so don't stress about these things and focus on making a better future for yourself. Looks can only get you so far, but your brain is what takes you to the finish line.

Answer 3

You sound like an 'inclined to inner self' person . There is nothing wrong with it. Do not worry about what others think and talk about you. Just make sure you do not harm or hurt any one and not into any wrong doings. Always remember that every thing in this world is changing. Every thing we see and hear is of temporary nature. Every human being living now will be no more in less than 100 years. Look at the millions who lived before us, where are they now? Do their gossips matter any more? So stop worrying about it.

One very good suggestion I can make for you is start meditation. This will definitely develop your mind and raise your inner spirits. Meditation will improve your self esteem and will let you feel proud of your self. It will surely help you to understand how your mind works.

Answer 4

I know exactly how you feel i sometimes do the same things as you wow!!
What i did was i took a hobby like photography or fishing and then i was out having fun and not caring about what others thought. If someone gave me a compliment i just said something nice and complimented them back.
I didnt change my wardrobe or anything i was just my natural self being me. I started hanging out with my friends abit more which inevitably led to parties and stuff.

So just go out there get a hobby or sumthing
If u need anything im here 4 ya!!

Answer 5

Hey sweets, I know how you feel coz I was there once. you have to learn how to love yourself, it doesnt matter if the whole worl loved you,what matters is that you love yourself. Learn how to love your faults with your virtues, learn to forgive yourself for any mistakes you did,and compliment yourself when you perform well. See what is it that you dont like about yourself and work on it, never change yourself to look good for anyone, do it for the most important person in your life: Yourself!
Remember that anyone with determination can loose weight, get a good hair cut,apply stylish makeup,dress stylishly, BUT NO ONE can make themselves beautiful from the inside if they are not already beautiful, real beauty is not some eyeshadow and a thin body, it is a pure heart with a heavenly smile!
Always smile, and remember that the beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Again, Learn to love yourself, go out with real friends whom you trust and enjoy their company, do what YOU enjoy.
Dont try to feel pretty for a date or a guy,coz if he is only going out with you for your looks then he is not worth it,and if somone who is prettier passes by ,he will leave you! you dont waste your self on such a guy,
Take Care of what you eat, you may be lacking some vitamins and minerals that are affecting your moods, exercise frequently (Trust me it will bother you at the beginning but in 2-3 weeks time you will feel more energetic and radiant ) , get support from your friends and family, and remember to Love yourself!
God Bless you & Good Luck

Answer 6

Hello,

Just think about it this way: What really makes anyone else better than you? They might seem happier, but the fact is, everyone has self-doubt and views themselves in a critical way. In fact, the same battle of comparison happens in everyone's mind.

To build my self esteem, I typically do two things:

First, I write down all of the positive attributes about myself. Everyone can do something better than someone else. Write down the things that legitimately make you happy. Put this list next to your computer.

Second, figure out your sources of stress and sadness. Write those out as well, and figure out how you can eliminate these from your life.

It sounds simple, but it worked for me.

Answer 7

Congratulations you have made the first steps by thinking positive well done you.. Next look at yourself in a full lenght mirror from head to toe get to know your body what you like about it what you dont like make changes not drastic ones that require surgery but hair style , hair colour , the way you dress, look after your skin pamper yourself at least once a week, how well do you know yourself not based on what other people say about you but what you know about you.. Dont shy away from gatherings and public places if you get invited to a party dont automaticly decide not to go look at as a chance to relax with people you know and to meet new people to dress up and feel good because you look good accept compliments dont be embaressed by them when someone makes one to you say thank you as they will have meant it and they are given to make you feel good remember your worht it and deserve it.. Just enjoy being you as long as you like yourself from within and know yourself and accept you as you are then you will be fine dont put on a show just be you not what others want you to be if they cant accept that its their problem not yours ... Think positive at all times enjoy

Answer 8

No matter who you are, you have a spirit within. A beautiful being of Light and Love. You can experience it on a personal
level. And when you find it, and know you are here doing exactly
what you want to be doing. In order to learn and be a better
person as a spiritual being. You will find your self-esteem.

Answer 9

Believe it or not, I really do know how you feel. The very first thing you must realize is that self esteem can only come from inside of you. You must place the value on yourself. No one can give it to you, and noone can take it away..unless You let them. We are all different in many ways, this very fact is what makes worthwhile. Non of us will see anything exactly as another would. We all have different priorities and different view points . This is a GOOD thing! People would be pretty boring other wise.Your worth does not lie in your looks. Your real value is what you do. and the more you do to help others, the better you will feel about yourself. Not every one will like you...but this is not your burdon.. it is theirs. You do not have to agree with anothers opinion to be liked or accepted.Most people are thinking about how they appear to others (like you do) than to judge how the other person looks! Think about that one for awhile. You are rather young ,aren't you? I felt the same way as you when I was in my teens and 20's. I wouldn't even make eye contact with anyone. I later found out that everyone in town (very small town) thought I was just stuck up!! They could not have been farther from the truth. I did a lot of reading of self help books and even more practicing what they said to do. The best help was eleminating the false statment from my thinking. It was no wonder I felt bad about myself when all day long I was telling myself a bunch of lies. Listen to the dialog that is running in your brain..when you hear an inaccurate statment.. stop and replace it with a truer one. Ex.> I always mess everything up! Always? No one can do anything always. Okay, so I goofeds on that project..I am good at _______________ (what ever that thing may be...cheering up a child who has fallen? helping that elderly lady with her bags? What ever it might be.. trust me..it hasn't gone unnoticed. After you replace the untruthful statements in your mental process for awhile you will stop lying to yourself ..it gets easier and easier. If I could do it , so can you! Be positive , move only toward your goal, you will be there soon. Learn to laugh at youself. In fact, beat others to it! When I walk into a wall or other swift move, I usually turn to see if anyone was looking and say something like' boy, I sure hope you didn't see that' and just start laughing...or rub your own forhead and ask them to tell you when you get the stupid off! Laugh, even if you don't feel that way..the feeling will come. If some jerk wants to put you down try this line "Thanks, that was just the look or reaction I was going for!' Or "with a surprised look on your face tell them "Boy, good thing I don't give a sh about your opinion,isn't it!"? They try to label you because that is what they have to do to feel good about themselves. It doesn't make you what they call you. It only highlights their ignorance. Face your problems (mostly imagined) head on.. try what you feel you cann't do.. This will give you confidence in yourself. You don't have to be good at all you try..life is in the trying not in the mastering of what we attempt. Enjoy what God has given you..you will stumble upon this gift when you least expect it. You only have yourself to please. Be kind to you.. forgive yourself. love youself ..it is okay!! Be different and take pride in it! You have a lot to offer the world, and the more you give of little things to you, the better you will feel about yoursel. Give a compliment to a stranger..watch their face light up..it cost you nothing but both of you will feel good the rest of the day..as will anyone else who witnesses this good deed!~ Read Dr. Wayne Dyers books ( 10 Secrets to Success and inner Peace and The Power of Intention) These 2 are my favorites. Email me if you want too (check my profile for link). I'm counting on you to bloom like the Flower you were always meant to be! You will be able to reach your goals , anything is possable for the cost of an effort..go for it!~!~! Love yourself today..please, try it for me( for I am the 'you' that you will become, just I was once the 'you' that you think you are today) When God created the Earth, He looked around and said "All is good." This includes you.

Answer 10

Being self unsleeping is a reliable element, even although that's in all danger bringing you rigidity. i could purchase The Psychology of self esteem by Nathaniel Branden in case you prefer some intense self esteem analyzing. (or borrow it from a library) in case you think of of issues that are destructive attempt to restoration them and in case you won't be able to appropriate now do it later, in case you won't be able to ever, understand that besides. yet do not persuade your self which you won't be able to alter issues or your self. That'd lead you to sadness, have confidence me. in spite of each thing the failings human beings make it easier to be responsive to to do or have faith you have purely have been given you and in actuality you benefit happiness and self esteem from doing what you prefer.

Answer 11

A positive attitude is a magnet for positive results..Girl hold your head up you are as good as everyone else..And as pretty BEAUTY is in the eyes of the BEHOLDER!!!!!!!!God places someone own earth for everyone and If you don,t get out how you going to find Him..Sweetie every girl fills like this you just don,t here of it...Self confidence is what it takes I have too much self confidence I am as good as the next one...I could go to have lunch with the best and fill as good as they do because my mama was beautiful to me and my Daddy And I came from them so that makes me beautiful too! I get up in the morning with Joy in my heart because I have another day..Life is to short to miss treat your self. Go to Jesus with this and tell Him all about it and ask Him to give you peace with your self..when you start to fill down own your self whisper Jesus name over and over until it leaves and goes away it will I promise God bless you and may the Lord shine His light own you and fill you with the self confidence His has given me...Bless the U S A and Israel and all SMILE JESUS LOVES YOU and CARES trust in Him he will set you free from this...