My wife has autoimmune and wants to give a kidney to her mom even though it could cost her her life. Should I

Question

let her do it? I could not raise our two kids without her.

Answer 1

ask your wife to see a therapist with you to help sort through the pros/cons of this. sounds like you wife is feeling overwhelmed and has lost her sense of boundaries on this.

most employers have an Employee Assistance Program (called EAP or EAR) that has a toll free number. it's completely confidential and free to use. you'll get so many sessions free and they also give you a list of referrals to community resources, like therapy or groups.

try to keep your kids out of the discussion though. that's way too much stress for a kid. and because of the autoimmune, i don't believe any doctor would allow this, but your wife still needs help. she's overwhelmed.

good luck to you. hang in there.

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

Don't let her do it. The surgeons shouldn't even do if her condition could cost her her life! Life isn't like Grey's Anatomy or something. Your wife obviously doesn't want to lose her mom, but ask her how your kids feel about losing THEIR mom. She's been raised, your kids need her.

Answer 4

You are right to think of your wife and her relation to your children. How could a grandmother allow her daughter who is raising young children to do that?

I know it must be so hard for your wife. You may need to get counselling or whatever will help her to think about the children and their needs. Mom/Grandma has had a longer life. No one wants to lose her, but her children are raised!

Good luck to you. This is a tough situation.

Answer 5

I'm not sure where you are located, however I would check local university hospital's, or just research kidney donors. Ask friends and relatives to be tested to see who has the next best match. It is not quaranteed that your wife's kidney is a good fit for your mother. I will keep the family in my thoughts!! Be blessed.

Answer 6

You MUST consult a transplant team for this. Even though she wants it, her medical condition may not allow her to donate her kidney. Medical ethics and such issues are totally dependent on her (your wife), but you can still make the decision together.

Answer 7

Any respectable doctor would not even consider allowing this transplant to happen. You have to be in really good, if not perfect health to donate any body part.

Answer 8

that may be one of the dumbest things I've ever heard of. and the fact that her mother would even consider it is just wrong.