I need advice from guys please?

Question

How can you let a man know that you are only interested in sex without representing yourself as a s.lut or easy?
I've recently gotten out of a long term relationship and I'm not ready to get back into anything serious. This guy that I met recently and I have been flirting like crazy, and I would mind being "beneficial friends" ... but I don't want a boyfriend. I don't want him to lose respect for me either.

Answer 1

I've never seen so many half baked responses to a simple question. And, I'm sorry but answers like, "Just be honest" or "Tell him the truth" are worthless. It would be honest to then say, "I just want sex" but this is definitely not what you should tell him. Listen carefully:

1. Do not under any circumstances tell him that you want sex. It will backfire no matter how you try to explain it or rationalize it. No matter how sophisticated we men might be it will either make him feel awkward, cause him to lose respect for you, or just plain knock him off his feet so that he won't know how to act around you. The only way that approach could work is if he has no feelings for you. Do not do it.

2. Do tell him that you've just gotten out of a relationship and that you aren't sure that you can feel really close or committed anytime soon. Tell him that are not ready to get into another relationship. Tell him too that you aren't sure that you can trust your feelings because you are still not completely over the breakup.

3. Tell him that you feel a little lonely and would like some company. Ask him if he would be willing to date casually or just spend time with you while knowing that you might not ever be able to get serious. Tell him that you want to stay friends.

4. It is not necessary at all to tell him you want sex. Trust me; if the chemistry is there it will happen. As long as you've told him about still not being over your breakup then you've taken care of your responsibilities. The rest is easy. Perhaps some evening when you are both cuddling and watching a movie, the kissing and caressing will get a bit more passionate and you can take it from there. It will seem completely innocent and spontaneous no matter how often you've thought about it. He will retain his respect for you and you will not appear to be easy or a s.l.u.t.

Answer 2

well for one, id say youve got the better end of the deal being a girl and all, because the guy is pretty much the one that has to really worry about impressing the girl with how he talks and acts. The girls in my opinion have to do less, because there not expected to be the innitiators of anything envolving meeting and talking to the opposite sex. So you should be a little more stress free knowing that its more on him to do that stuff. Though, you can and should if you want to start a convo, why not, there actually are a ton of shy guys out there that are not innitially willing to go out of there way to talk to a girl that they like, so with that in mind go for it. the question of telling a guy (or hinting) that your interested in him is not really my expertise. Because i have the same problem of showing a girl i like them, so. The less you think about it, and the more you just let it happen the more things are going to work. Go with your instincts on what you should do!

Answer 3

You don't need to tell him anything, just let him feel that you cared and make some romantic moves for him but let him also feel that he is not that important, I mean not the priority in your life as of now. Like not saying yes to all things he wanted you to do. Let him feel unwanted sometimes so that he will crave for more attention and when that happens sex really will be great. If you want him not lose the respect to you be smart enough to know what is not to be done and lastly be dominant on making decesion. Hopefully it will work.

Answer 4

Uh, I hate to tell you this, but a woman who only wants sex pretty much IS an easy slut. Having sex without having a relationship pretty much destroys any respect the guy might have had for you to begin with. Guys have feelings too, y'know. But that's just my opinion.

To counter that, though, the preferred term is "fuckbuddy". ("Friends with benefits" implies more of a level of friendship, like first you're friends, then you have benefits. "Fuckbuddy" is just someone who, y'know, you sleep with, who you know well enough to know that they don't have any VDs, but you don't well enough to know their innermost hopes and dreams.) Leave a little scrap of paper with just that word - "fuckbuddy" - somewhere where he can easily find it. (Make sure it's not in your handwriting. Or maybe he wouldn't recognize your handwriting. I don't know.) Then ask him if anything weird or odd has happened to him lately, and when he tells you about it, start a conversation about it and see where it goes.

Answer 5

having respect and not coming off as a s.lut or easy usually don't go together. the best thing to do is be straight up with the guy and tell him that you are still kind of shopping around and dating other people and that you are not ready for a steady relationship. if he can't live with that it would be his loss.

Answer 6

You can't have your cake and eat it too. If you end up being "beneficial friends" without anything more, you may get "off" but he will not respect you. You may want to ask yourself what's going on inside you (other than the natural psychological "need") that makes you believe you "need" sex without commitment or love.

Answer 7

Do the "One Night Stand" relationship. You bang him, don't call or answer his calls the next day or TWO if you can take it, then call him and say you'd like to meet up at a particular place (most likely the last place you guys were at like a restaurant). Then you make sure you got your extra undies and do it all over again cuz he'll start getting used to the routine. Believe me he won't get suspicious. & if he does, tell him "Maybe we shouldn't see each other anymore" and he'll forget everything he said the last minute and act like nothing happened. If he calls your bluff, you got your out ;) good luck and good f***

Answer 8

most of men are looking for sex not a relation and responsebelty and the best thing is 2 go direct tell him i never thought i would say that before but am i don't want u to think wrong of me i like how things are and i like u as a freind only but what do u think of the Idea of trying to get together just for sex no attachments no nothing i belive he will be happy with this

Answer 9

It's a very delicate situation, but at least you're honest about it.

My advice: Be up front with this guy. Tell him in no uncertain terms that you don't want anything from him except sex.

Hopefully he respects your space.

Answer 10

Just tell him exactly what you would like in a relationship with him. Have a very open and honest conversation and explain to him what it is that you want.