My boyfriend and I are really attached to each other and have been going out for over a year. This is the first relationship where I've become needy. Sometimes he likes it, and sometimes he doesn't, and there are FEW times where he is clingy and I like it, and sometimes where it annoys me. He doesn't like to show how he feels, but deep down is a sensitive person. When it's just me and him, he'll be really cute, but at soon as his friends come, he changes the way he talks, his laugh, and he stops being as cute. When we fight, I back down because I dont want to make him mad. When something bad happens, I always get emotionally hurt and it seems like he doesn't care when he hurts me, when in fact the way he seems to feel to someone, and the way he actually feels are totally different. What can I do to seem as though I don't care, and start MAKING HIM worry and MAKING HIM feel bad?
2007-01-15 19:05:58 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds like your problem isn't "clingyness" but fighting emotions. It almost seems like he has a split personality in your relationship that makes it difficult for you to handle his angry and his feelings. If he hurts you, you shouldn't be afraid to tell him so. And if you are really afraid to tell him that then there is something very wrong in he relationship and you may need to get out of it. As for the "clingyness" that will happen no matter what if you let it. The more you let good "clingyness" happen then the more bad "clingyness" you will allow to create. Hope I could help!
2007-01-15 19:16:59 · answer #1 · answered by Barlow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of the relationship now. Real relationships are not about playing games to make anyone feel certain ways. If you care about someone, you want to treat them well. What you should be doing is communicating to him about how you feel when he acts in any way that hurts you. If you are in a fight, you should not back down just because you don't want him angry. If you are right, you should defend that. If you are wrong, you should be willing to admit it. Just don't become a jerk to make him respond. Game play never works because you lose who you are.
2007-01-15 19:15:52 · answer #2 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is being two different people...one when he is with you and another when he is with his friends. Being overly clingy is not a good thing because eventually this will drag him down. Try to be an equal..a partner and a friend...it will work much better in the long run for the both of you. This way he can be one person, the person he is to everyone.
2007-01-15 19:10:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys are unhealthy.
I had a friendship like this... and it was a 5 year long nightmare. Talk it out with your boyfriend.. you both have to know where the other is coming from. I'm just warning you, though... clingyness is a tough animal to kill. For some, it's a lifelong problem and can be a sign of other issues. Good luck to you both.
2007-01-15 19:09:58 · answer #4 · answered by Paul T 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋