i feel so insecure whenever he goes out with this friends? i have done all the usual stuff going out with my friends at the same time having girlie nights in etc even going out with him. but i still feel worried when he goes out- my friends are not always going to be free to do stuff when he goes out so how can i stop myself from being so stupid - he isnt doing anything wrong by socialising with his friends help by the way we live together !
2007-01-15 18:47:39 · 20 answers · asked by Pebbles 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It is perfectly reasonable to go out with his friends...you're right. Have you been burned before or something? If so, just remember this guy isn't your ex bf. If he has proven himself trustWORTHY then you should TRUST him. I don't have enough info to advise you much better than this yet. Just bite your tongue and don't make an issue of it. I would probably obsess in the privacy of my own home and hide my phone so I didn't drive anyone crazy calling over it. If going out and having fun yourself doesn't fix it, I don't know what will. I would recommend clergy, counselors, therapy, group meetings - whatever it takes, even meds. Not joking but I know it's hard. I am sorry you are having these feelings. :(
2007-01-15 18:57:07 · answer #1 · answered by lovestruck 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you any reason to feel like this hun? Has he or any previous boyfriend cheated or given you a reason to doubt men?
If so - then I can understand why you feel this way.
If not - then you have to realise that at the end of the night its you he comes home to and its you he loves.
A little bit of insecurity and jealousy isnt a bad thing in a relationship as it shows you care about that person - but if they've done nothing to warrant this then it can ruin a relationship.
You know that you both have to have time apart with your friends - why not ask him to send you a few texts whilst hes out letting you know how he's getting on as you miss him when hes away - small little things like that might make you feel better in yourself.xx
2007-01-16 04:21:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really just an insecurity that most of us experience. Do something that you truly enjoy and are very interested in on those days/nights. If there is a movie you have been dying to see, watch it, etc. Allow yourself five minutes to set aside to think about what your BF may or may not be doing and then move right along onto something else in your head. Pretty soon you will be looking forward to "your" nights. Also, make sure you initiate some "alone" nights too.
2007-01-16 02:57:06 · answer #3 · answered by soozemusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't trust him, why have you moved in together?
If he doesn't give you any reason to distrust him, why don't you trust him?
If these feelings come up because you aren't independent enough to entertain yourself for a while when he's not there, you have to work that out. If it's because he spends too much time with his friends, you have to talk to him and ask for a compromise. If it's because you don't trust his friends, you have deeper problems, because you find out a lot about what a man is like from his friends.
Whatever you do, don't put a stop to his times out with "the boys". That's just a good way to turn him neurotic and useless. Our culture teaches us that it's a sign of maturity for men to stop spending time with other men in favor of always being with their woman, but our culture is really stupid about these things. It's almost like people think co-dependency is normative. Both of you need to have a life outside of your relationship for you to stay healthy.
2007-01-16 03:02:38 · answer #4 · answered by John D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt worry, it's perfectly normal. I dont think its entirely insecurity even though there is an element of it. Its just wanting to be with him too. You have to try and figure out if you trust him. Trust is a major part of a relationship. If there is no trust you will just be worrying every time he leaves the house. In time if he keeps going out, you will just get used to it and wont think anything of it as time goes on. Does he go out every weekend, If this is the case how about suggesting a night in and early night ;-) It is also an important part of life to have your friends around you and spend time with them, as he is doing too. Its not that he is leading a seperate life sometimes its just nice to be around your friends as you can fully relax with them and have fun too. Your relationship is normal and I wouldn't worry, it will get easier with time. Ask him to reassure you and tell you how he feels about you more often this will boost your self esteem.
2007-01-16 06:22:14 · answer #5 · answered by honeybee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can u live together if ur still think he might cheat on u!! (that's what the word ''insecure'' means).. in this case u have to know his freinds..who r they? where do they come from? what do they do? and u can either ask him or ask them not directly but to gather some informations from them one at a time... if u do know them already and u know that they r not so good for him then don't even think about telling him ur friends are bad, u just need to figure it out with him and tell him that u love him so much ( if u do of course!) and that ur thinking of what it's best for him and that ur worried about him and that ur worried about (U) ..and I'm sure he will understand..
2007-01-16 03:03:44 · answer #6 · answered by I luv SY 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said you feel insecure when he goes out. Has he done anything to make you worry.I know you like for your man to be at home i am same way but he needs his time with his friends and so do you. Yall will get tired of each other if yall spend to much time together.You must trust him if you dont no point of being with him right.
2007-01-16 02:58:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The worst thing you can do in any relationship is not trust...feeling insecure comes from lack of trust. Just because he goes out does not mean you have to also go out on that same day. Without this trust there is no relationship.
2007-01-16 02:52:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he is going out too much with his friends and you feel neglected. If this is the case, you should invite your boyfriend to discuss this issue with you. Together, make a calendar of how many times both of you are comfortable with each other socializing outside of the relationship. It is important not to eliminate time with his friends but compromise on what feels more comfortable for you. In your conversation, be sure to include an equal number of times for dating each other and special times within the relationship.
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2007-01-16 04:17:24 · answer #9 · answered by Crystal W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lol this may sound egotistical but I jokingly told one of my friends this and it worked. When ever you start to have insecure thoughts like that just think that you are the best woman in the world and no one can compare and he couldn't possibly find a better package deal
2007-01-16 02:57:49 · answer #10 · answered by ...huh... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋