it's weird, it's like i want more than anything else for someone (anyone) to talk to me and be nice to me and i don't know, just be like a real friend or something, but then whenever anyone actually pays any attention to me, like even just says hi or something, i get so nervous that i want more than anything for them to just leave me alone and let me go back to being completely isolated and lonely. what's wrong with me?
2007-01-15 18:42:01 · 12 answers · asked by shadow of a girl 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Did you have a lot of abuse growing up? If so, there is a side of you that is lonely and hurting and that is in need of love and friendship. So you seek it out, but then when someone does try and get close, you push them away. Perhaps because of an old tape running though you head that says you're not good enough for a relationship. It all comes down to self-estee. If you weren't given much, you truly will feel you don't deserve to have this closeness. You won't even open the door by saying "Hi" back to someone so if I were you, I'd speak with a good therapist. She or he can find out why you are so conflicted. You want attention and good relationships with others, but you run when it's about to happen. A therapist may bring some things to light that you haven't considered. Once you know the real reason, you'll be able to fix it and have loving friendships with people. Good luck.
2007-01-15 18:52:15 · answer #1 · answered by Gayle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't know how to act so you would reather go back to being alone. Next time someone says hi to you, take a deep breath, smile and say hi back. After a little while you will see, we are all the same and we all want the same things from other people no matter who we are.
And don't listen to the people who will undoubtedly tell you you have social anxiety and need medication, if you had social anxiety you wouldn't want the attention in the first place.
2007-01-15 18:48:48 · answer #2 · answered by vampire_kitti 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm not a doctor but it sounds like it could be SOCIAL ANXIETY.
this is TREATABLE. There are medications and therapies that can help. Anti-anxiety meds, or cognitive behavioral therapies could be possible treatments, but a course of treatment needs to be taliored to each person. Do not be afraid to reach out. There is help out there and many health insurance companies will cover the costs of therapy. a Psychatrist, Psycologist or even a clinical social worker can be of assistence. I have personally had luck working with social workers and I am currently studing at college to become one. I had some trouble with social anxiety myself and found desenitization to be helpful. I took it a step at a time and pushed myself to do things that made me uncofortable like going into public and slowly my comfort zone grew untill I could do those thing without panic setting in. now I go to school , work and I'm married. Accually most people concider me outgoing now.
2007-01-15 19:52:41 · answer #3 · answered by imderanged 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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Come Here Go Away by Doctor Ralph Earle
Item Specifics - Nonfiction Books
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Publication Year: 1991
2007-01-15 18:50:37 · answer #4 · answered by BIGDAWG 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are scared that someone is going to reject you, or tease you. Hurt in some way.
You know, I never used to let anyone into my life. Then one a took a risk and let some one in. And that person is my best friend in the world and couldnt want anything more.
I started taking more risks, talking to people etc. And i have friends now, that care for me and love me who i am. Sad, happy...what ever i am.
2007-01-16 11:12:00 · answer #5 · answered by bladetroubles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. Exactly. I use to feel like that all the time; like all you want it to be pursued but when it comes down to it you freak out inside and retreat.
I saw a doctor. Depression. Anxiety Disorders. Whatever they call it. Medicine. Therapy. Whatever they say will treat or help it.
At the end of the day you can get through it yourself, alone. I did. Believe it and it will happen. I found a faith I could focus my all on and it helped immensly. It might feel like a big deal but one day you will look back and see how you got through it; remember that.
2007-01-15 21:11:55 · answer #6 · answered by New Zealander 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you like having that control?
you're anxious?
nervous?
i'm not diagnosing here, but maybe take a few online psych tests, but better yet make an app't with a counsellor. they are wonderful and can guide you through things if you want to change things.
i highly doubt you have it, but read up on borderline personality disorder. like i said, i highly doubt you have it, though. don't read into things - don't make yourself fit into a diagnosis at all.
2007-01-15 18:47:45 · answer #7 · answered by Carla S 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
perhaps you have social anxiety, your breathing change and you feel as if they can see your flaws and you have to get away before you say something stupid. take your time and search for a good therapist and taking B complex with vitamin C. great for anxieties.
2007-01-15 19:12:50 · answer #8 · answered by carmenapple33 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u are afraid of getting hurt ...ther must have been some past incident of rejection and hurt for you,try and get over it and open ur heart to new friends....for every bad person god made 100 good people!...all the best to u dear!
2007-01-15 18:46:48 · answer #9 · answered by lilbit 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's exactly what I used to do but I've gotten better at it...just takes self-control, motivation, and practice.
2007-01-16 19:31:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋