My wife and I have been married 7 years we have one child. she just told me that she wants to leave 2 weeks ago. thats she wants to move in with her cousin and her 2 children, that she wants to date other men. but she dosen't want a realitionship. she told me not to get a divorce because she don't want to give up on us .I was devastated and still am. i did not see this coming, she is on meds and doing well on her job, but told me i can't stop having this feelings for other men and i don't want to cheat so i have to leave, but i'm not leaving you for a man . I haven't fought with her about this, i'm trying to keep a calm head for my son, she is still at the house and today we all went to dinner when we came back she said she wants to go to marriage coucling but is still leaving and wants to see other men, my heart is broken and i'm not thinking clearly right now I need some sound advice on this.
2007-01-15 18:12:43 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Mental illness has run rampant throughout my bloodline. My father has been dianogesed with schizophrenia in the 80's, then with sleep apnea and no also bi-polar. Without his meds he cannot sleep and has what seems to be excessive energy. Crazy-wise at his worst he led cops in a chase with a volkswagon crashing into the police road block. Then he went in reverse and smashed ones behind him. The reason he went out for the drive is he was "looking for the true church." While he stopped by chuches, every single one would welcome him in and increased his demand for churches. After being sent to the pcych ward his now team of doctors perscribe about every kind of drug I know of. His main doctor, the one who label him as bi-polar, has told him about the common signs people have. In males it seems that a need to go fast with everything as well as a need to find spirtualaty is common. In females, sleeping around and excessive hoarding/spending is common. In my father case the medication that seems to work the best for him is called Depakote, which is strange because untill a few years ago it was used by epileptics to stop seizures. I know both choices are going to be very rough, but you do have to realize that she is sick and at this time of your lives she probably needs you now more than ever.
2007-01-15 18:42:45 · answer #1 · answered by Sleepyriggles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does she mean by seeing other men...possibly a sexual relationship? What could she possibly discover by doing this. I understand that she's bipolar and she may have these feelings, but you have a responsibility to yourself and your son to speak up about what you will or will not accept. Mental illness doesn't mean you do whatever the heck you feel like without considering others, especially your spouse. You say she's on her meds so she's not manic, which would explain risky behaviour. I applaud you for keeping calm as it must be very difficult for you right now! I guess you can't really make her stay if she's determined to leave but you really gotta question what she hopes to get out of this. She can't predict that something sexual won't happen and I really think that should be unacceptable to you. She could get an STD or worse. Marriage means she took a vow and that has to count for something. Make your feelings known and if she's willing to go to counselling than get her to go. I doubt if a marriage counsellor would condone giving her the ok to do what she's planning.
2007-01-15 18:35:16 · answer #2 · answered by lookwid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry this is happening in your marriage. From what you are saying, your wife did not mention taking your child with her to her cousin's either. Is she walking away from the child you two have together as well? Your wife sounds very confused. Does your wife mention how she is feeling mentally? It is possible that she may need a change in medication(s). I say this most sincerely, but it does not seem logical to me that a spouse would state that they want to see others outside the marriage, and in the same breath state that they do not want a divorce or to give up on their marriage. If your wife is convinced of what she wants and you are convinced she is mentally stable, then I would suggest you separate for a while and see what happens.
2007-01-15 18:47:06 · answer #3 · answered by soozemusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know much about Bipolar disorder but i do have an idea and that would be a very hard thing to handle. Have you ever calmly told her what you've written? Try telling her everything you wrote...well maybe not everything, but tell her how much you truly care for her and how you've never thought of another woman and how you do everything you can for her. Since i don't know you i don't know if you've ever cheated on her in the past (which would make her highly paranoid in itself) but something tells me you haven't. Anyway try doing that and if she still lashes out you should ask her what she wants you to do. For example, "What do you suggest i do? What can i do to prove i don't cheat? What can i do to prove im not cruel? What am i doing that makes you think im being cruel?" Things like that. good luck. ALSO! there are plenty of ways you can find professional advice should you need it. :)
2016-05-24 21:13:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest seeking out a professional marriage counselor.
In the end though, what she wants goes against the very essence of marriage, and you should give serious thought as to what will be best for you and the child, not what will make her not feel guilty (like not getting divorced but still allowing her to see other people.)
I'm sorry, and good luck. It's a complicated situation and I feel ignorant making any sort of comment on it based on a single paragraph of information, but hopefully it can still be helpful.
2007-01-15 18:18:49 · answer #5 · answered by J C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be sure that she will leave you now or tomorow so prepare
your self for this matter
may be the sepration will be useful for you and also for her
i think she is bad woman need every thing with out doing any thing
need you and your son and your stable life
and also need to meet another man and take the life with her lover
so dont be folish start dont make her the first in sepration
but
if she suffer from any psychotic disease ( but you must beside with her untill she become cure )
2007-01-15 19:39:15 · answer #6 · answered by Dr.h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say go with her to see her doctor. She may be going through a manic phase. Is she sleeping less than usual? Is she spending more money than normal? Has she been extra happy or irritable? If so, it may be attributed to manic. I would address that to her. Say, you know this can be a symptom of your illness? Could we go check that out with the doc prior to your making any huge decisions? Good luck. I am sorry that you are having to deal with this.
2007-01-15 21:16:36 · answer #7 · answered by gramma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, that totally sucks. I don't even know what to say to that except to hang in there. you know that you haven't done anything this is something that she is going through.
did you get married young? I'm just wondering why she fells that "sowing" her oats would help your marriage in anyway.
at least she didn't go out and cheat on you, I have to give her a lot of credit for that.
2007-01-15 18:20:07 · answer #8 · answered by lv_consultant 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You best advice is to call a marriage counselor and get started ASAP. Also talk to your clergy person as a couple.
2007-01-15 18:20:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should go talk to a lawyer. It would be in your child's best interests if you have legal custody of him or her.
2007-01-15 18:21:31 · answer #10 · answered by mj_indigo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋