We've been together for 14 months now.. he's been fit, but he's been constantly putting on weight and giving me all kinds of excuses !
I can't tolerate it anymore, plus the promises he doesn't keep about eating healthy and going to the gym! i'm fed up and this time when he came back it was extremely intolerable.. he no longer turns me on with his big belly!
i figured i just can't love him for who he is.. i need him to be something i can love..
can i tell him that i am breaking up with him because he is fat??
2007-01-15 17:48:24 · 36 answers · asked by Deema 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
As a non smoker, I would never start dating a smoker. If they suddenly started smoking, only a few cigs at first, but gradually increasing until this was a full-on habit, I'd kick that person to the curb in an instant.
You're going to have a lot of people tell you that it's not OK to give the lazy soon-to-be fat ash the boot, but it's no different than picking up another disgusting habit like smoking.
2007-01-15 17:53:50 · answer #1 · answered by Omniscience 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Hell yeah, he's a boyfriend not a husband. Dump that fat bastard. If you told him nice, encourage him, and he promised and didnt even attempt it, then dump him. If he lost some weight but you want him Mr Universe like he was then that isn't fair because you cant be like that forever, takes a lot of work, but if he's a blubber ball and promises to shape up but doesnt out the door. Imagine when you're married. He'll promise whatever to get you off his back, but then never follow through. You dont want a flaky guy. Right now, it's the time when guys are trying to look good so you stay with him and everything.
Dont tell you're breaking up because he's fat, tell him because he has promised to shape up, he doesnt keep his promises and etc. He'll notice this is serious, and will shape up if he really cares. He'll promise you he'll change, give him 2 months to lose 15 lbs, and see from there.
2007-01-15 17:57:14 · answer #2 · answered by Julio Cesar C 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You don't love him. You just liked the way he looked. I sure hope that someday when you are pregnant and even after giving birth, your partner would put up with the way you look.
When people don't keep their promises, it hurts and it somehow does translate into them not being honest with you and loving you enough to do that, so I do know how you feel. But there is way more to a relationship than what the partner looks like. Physical attraction too is very important. So, if you are not attracted enough to him now and if you don't feel that tug in your heart that says, you want to be with him no matter what, it's time to move. He's not the one for you and you are not the one for him. Good luck.
2007-01-15 18:12:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really do love him keep encouraging him by preparing some healthy meals for him. Both of you sitting down and having a serious conversation about your feelings towards his health. You should do all you can in positive ways in a relationship before you walk away because you must keep in mind how you feel, and behave towards another person will come back upon you in some shape, form, or fashion. You just might end up in his position one day yourself and the person you're with might want to leave your fat ***!
2007-01-15 18:24:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dear,ask this question to yourself.If he dumps you for xyz reason which really isnt that big,would you consider his decision accurate and justified?Just because he is gaining weight and you cant tollerate his fat belly doesnt provide you a single reason to dump him.Just imagine as you get old,your hubby dumps you cause you look old and he is still fit....scares you...right!!!If you want to make a decision,try to follow the following practice
Remember what he is and was good for.Then remember what he is bad at.Compare them,you will get the answer.After this excercise,give additional points to his love for you and all the good things he has done for you when it was not that easy for him,and your feelings for him.I bet the result is tears if you love him.And you have your answer.Bye
2007-01-15 18:02:50 · answer #5 · answered by Dream Seller 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmm.. it seems you don't love him, do you? If you need something purely to turn you on then go for a guy with a guy with a great body and good looks who may be picky about all the flaws that you may have as well. Then maybe, you would start appreciating the things you didn't before. Just because he's getting fat? I suggest you don't grow old, you may hate yourself.
2007-01-15 18:02:30 · answer #6 · answered by cassaliciousinsanity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just think you had feelings for him because of his looks, not with his inner self, which you are being real selfish on your part.
It doesn't seem like he is motivated to lose weight at this time, especially if you have a nagging girlfriend who tells him constantly that he needs to lose weight. You think that by telling him and reminding him that he will lose weight? No, you need to support him, isn't that why you found interest in him was because of his looks?
Wow, some girlfriend you are by putting him down with his eating habits. That is not being supportive at all.
If he was already someone that you already loved, then why let his being heavy ruin what you have now? It shouldn't matter how he looked. If it did matter to you, then you showed to be a false lover! How would you feel if it were the other way around?
You are just being selfish and thinking of yourself. Maybe he doesn't need you, he needs someone who is supportive of his decisions that he makes...right now, he is not motivated, but in time he will see that he needs to make changes, so hope one of them is changing the person that he is with now. (smile)
2007-01-15 18:00:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If the weight on a persons body is how you measure your love for them, then I fear it's not true love, and perhaps you should pack up and move on. Telling him that you think he's fat, is cruel and un-necessary. Furthermore it won't change anything. He will only motivate himself when he's ready to change, no matter what you say.
If you decide to break up be caring toward his feelings, much like you'd expect. tell him that the love has faded and you just aren't emotionally part of the relationship anymore.
2007-01-15 17:55:37 · answer #8 · answered by GermanPickle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can tell him.Whatever you feel like telling him?His big belly may no longer turn you on.I am sure your hateful,negative,shallow attitude does not turn him on either.You say.He was always fit until he started seeing you.Then after he started seeing you.He started putting on the weight.Which leads me to believe.He is not happy being with you.I can see.Why?Break up with him.Mark my word.The minute you break up with him.He is going to lose weight.Make you eat your heart out.Because the only thing that is the matter with him.Is YOU!!Do him a favor and break up with him.He deserves far more then you will ever be able to offer him!!
2007-01-15 18:41:56 · answer #9 · answered by noga 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the reason you were with him was mostly because of his looks, then it's only natural that you will leave him for the same reasons. You are not his wife, so you really don't need to go into it too much, just say you're not happy in the relationship and you feel that the two of you should go your seperate ways.
2007-01-15 17:55:04 · answer #10 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋