Well, this guy friend and I at the spur of the moment just did it-we were little too drunk. My ex came into town a week later and got to talk about the old times and one thing led to another-and well we had sex. The same day the guy I'm talk to just started messin' around and well....you know what happened. I never told the other what happened. It was like my lilttle secret. Now, my ex is some one who I would want as the father of my child, as he has a stable life-the other two, are ok...but economically they don't compare. Since I'm fine with the ex, I think I'll tell him he's the father, without a paternity test, and end the relationship with the other guy. Even though I'm not sure who the father is...I'm too scared to know it's not him. I'm doing this for my child, so he/she can grow up economically stable. Do you think this is a smart plan? I'm thinking about my child.
2007-01-15 17:16:25 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Please don't judge me-we all make mistakes.
2007-01-15 17:23:01 · update #1
Ask yourself about the other factors besides economics.
Do you believe he is going to willingly accept the child as his own?
Will he get jealous and doubt the paternity after he finds out you were having sex with somebody else, too? (and you know he will find out eventually - it always comes out - and the marriage usually ends when it does)
Once he demands a paternity test, if it reveals the other guy is the father, are you willing to come back into his life and tell him the state is going to start collecting child support from him? Because they almost certainly will.
If you're OK with those risks, go ahead. I think you should be open with both of them, though. It's harder, but you cause less chaos in everybody's life if you're honest at the beginning.
You should also think about putting the child up for adoption. You're too immature and selfish to be trying to raise a child just now.
2007-01-15 17:28:41 · answer #1 · answered by John D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How about you do the responsible thing and start telling truths!!!!Start setting a good example for your child now!
Here is a novel idea ...how about your forget the three guys and go it on your own. Lots of single Mom's out there balance working and raising a child - and so can you. It will help you mature and gain the self confidence you are going to need to raise your baby...IF YOU DON"T THINK YOU CAN DO THIS (for the child's sake) GIVE THE BABY UP FOR ADOPTION so he or she will have a half decent chance at growing up in functional home. If You love your baby - you have some hard choices to make. Make the right one!
2007-01-15 17:32:03 · answer #2 · answered by Ruth M 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Seriously is this a joke? You can't play around with a person's life like that. You should tell the three of them that it is possible that they could be the father and when the baby is born you can take a paternity test. This isn't even funny, it seems you are already using this child to get a guy, which is pathetic.
2007-01-15 17:22:15 · answer #3 · answered by Amber 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think that if your ex is your he is for a reason.
I also think that if you are not making all of this up that you should get tested for std's! They will most likely do that at you first prenatal visit but I would be honest with your doctor about the fact that you have had unprotected sex with three different men close enough together to not know who the father of your child is.
You should really change this behavior for your baby! You should also get tested right away... for your baby.
As far as the rest, you have to live with yourself so that is up to you. I don't think that anyone here is going to justify this for you.
2007-01-15 17:24:23 · answer #4 · answered by flappymcp 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
While you are thinking of your child, and what you think is fair to him or her, is it fair to a man to raise a child thinking it is his when it isn't? Is it fair for a child to never know his or her true father? You are going to have to think long, hard, and fast as to what you can truly live with for the rest of your life. Secrets tend to get worse with age, especially this kind. If you do not fess up now it will hurt those involved alot more if the truth ever does come out.
Only you know what you can handle, and what you are willing to go through, but think hard, this is a huge decision, one that could hurt many.
2007-01-15 17:22:31 · answer #5 · answered by Julie c 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need to get a paternity test...it would be an injustice if your child grew up thinking another guy was the father when it was one of the other two. It would also be very selfish for the father of the baby if he wasn't aware of this, because he might want to be part of the child's life, and he has legal rights if it is his baby.
2007-01-15 17:20:54 · answer #6 · answered by Green-Eyed Gal 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You must find out who the father is. It's only fair to the guy. It's not responsible to have unprotected sex with two guys in such a short amount of time, but if you actually care about the child (and the real father), do the right thing and get the test done. If he finds out down the road that he isn't the real father, there can be legal ramifications. Please, do the right thing.
2007-01-15 17:20:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
It's always a good idea to think about your child first, and to factor your child into your plans. It's not a good idea to tell the guy you want to be with that he's the father if you're not sure. What happens when, down the road, he finds out he's not the father, after you've been telling him for years that he is?
2007-01-15 17:23:20 · answer #8 · answered by dead_end_lies 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No this isn't ok that's incest and is frowned upon. it would also be unlawful. No I actually have under no circumstances done that with all and sundry in my relatives because you recognize that's basically incorrect and unlawful.
2016-10-17 01:40:29 · answer #9 · answered by christler 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think it's best to find out who the father is otherwise it could really mess up your kid in the future. Also, don't you think your ex and friend deserve to know the truth? This is your own doing! Don't let the secret eat you up later on.
2007-01-15 17:22:49 · answer #10 · answered by ponder2006 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋