Is this the right time to have a baby...?

Question

Hi all. I'm married 20 years old and my husband and I been together for the past 4 years. We have a very loving relationship in witch im very happy... I've just migrated to Australia 1 year ago, I still find it hard to adjust here as nun of my family is here and is hard not having your family around...I'm working and my husband is working and studding as well (he will be going to university next year to study for becoming a school teacher) for the moment we're living with mother in law and we're trying to save up so we can move out... This is my current situation and now my question is should I have a baby now? I really want to have a baby I know deep inside I would be the happiest mother ever :)) I come from a big family (I have 7 brothers in witch im the oldest) and in my family I was like a second mother to my younger brothers, I did everything for them I wash I cook I wake up at night when they cry to try to put them back to sleep (that was when my mom had the twins) Continue---->

And I used to baby sit many children of friends and family and other people... so I know how it is to take care of a child 24/7. Now I talked to my husband about all this and he wants children to but not now he wants after he finish university and becomes a full time teacher so we can be more financially stable witch in a way I agree with him but I feel so strong about having a baby now and I can't stop thinking about it... even tho I might just have to wait 5 more years ...:( but what do you guys think?--->

everybody just keep in mind that im only asking for your opinions and that wont mean I will make a decision soon. It's good to hear some outside opinions about what I think. Also I would never have a baby while still living with my mother in law or with no money in my account, as much as I want a baby right now I can't be selfish and not consider my financial status

Answer 1

Wow... Nice to c a happy-mother-to-be!

You are only 20. its nice to marry young and have a baby young for reasons like u are adaptive at a younger age. you can put up with things be it your hubby or baby.

you could have a baby now. you will enjoy your pregnancy.. provided your husband is also caring! when u decide to have a baby, be very clear about wat ur husband wants.

if you wanna have a baby in australia, you need to consider a major factor: IF YOU ARE A PR HOLDER OR NOT! if you have no PR or citizenship its gonna be expensive in Aussie (especially Sydney) to deliver a baby. Private health funds dont reimburse much and its all out of the pocket expense. it would sound like a fortune to spend if you are on a student spouse visa. I think the immigration says both or 1 of the parents should be a PR or a citizen of aussie during the child's birth. Only then the child will be granted citizenship in aussie. u could chk for more on this on www.citizenship.gov.au.. i am not sure of the website though.

it is very important to have your family around. atleast your mom. ensure that a family member comes down once you confirm your pregnancy. she should be able to stay with you atleast for one year. this itself will help u deliver a happy child.

so decide ALONG WITH YOUR HUSBAND based on all these aspects. Dont forget the financial aspect if you dont hold PR.

BEST OF LUCK

Answer 2

Unfortunately, being from a large family, you feel the void & want to fill it by having your own. Given the fact that your living with your mother-in-law, I'm sure that's now how you pictured having a family.

To top it off, you should wait until you're both done school, as that costs money, & have a place of your own, so you have privacy.

For now, your safest best to fill in the void would be to get a pet. If you can't, then pick up some extra hobbies to pre-occupy yourself.

Answer 3

No it aint the right moment, i know you would want a baby, but having one at your position is a very bad thing to do, your budget would go over the line, think about it, you are bearly making it through over there, and a baby means more money to be wasted such is more food, clothes, papers and ID and such, neccesary things, and right now your budget wont allow that, try having one when your husband is out of the University, and when he gets a sutible job and most peferablt have a baby when yall move, having one right now is too much responsibility at the moment

Answer 4

The is no right and wrong tune to have a baby- sometimes are just more easier and enjoyable than others. You honestly will have to make that call for yourself regarding your husband and your relationship. Have you talked about it together? Things like that.

But I must insist that you do not try to have a baby with the belief that it is the key to making you happy in light of being removed from your family. if youve though about all that good luck , love.

Answer 5

I tell you what! There's NO WAY I could have had a baby and cared for it in my mother in law's house! She would have taken over the baby and insist I do the baby care all her way, no matter how I felt about it.

I suggest you wait another year or two. At least till you have your own place, and maybe a little money saved up.

Answer 6

The best solution would be to wait until you both have stable jobs and have your own place. But if you really want to have a baby now, and it just feels right, then go ahead!

Answer 7

Unless you have a really fantastic mother-in-law who would love having a grandchild in the house, I would wait a little while.

Answer 8

Look, first of all you shouldnt have gotten married when you were in HIGHSCHOOL. You were still a kid and when you get married you arent a kid anymore! And a baby at age 20 is also stupid. You need to wait longer because you are not ready at that young of age. Girl don't have a kid, wait ATLEAST 5 more years!!! I hate people like you...

Answer 9

Wait until your 100% ready.
You'll both know when the time is right.

Answer 10

Is this the right time to have a baby...?

How far apart are the contractions?