Do you ever feel that your holding on by a thread?

Question

I have obessive negative thoughts that race in my head. I feel like I'm redicule and humilation is a running theme in my life. Some days im ok when I spend time with the ones I love but other days like today I feel so isolated and alone and I'm thinking of ways to end my life. I'm very impulsive and have on several accounts tried to kill myself....The weight so heavy, I can not bear it anymore..
I feel like I'm catatonic, and not living my life to the fullest b/c I'm so tired of the rejection of trying to fit in....I sometimes I did live in isolation where I don't have to interac with people. Does anyone feel this way?
And o, yes I'm on meds and I see a shrink....

Thanks for everyones kind words....I'll take them to heart.

Answer 1

Hi, I share your misery- 6 years now. I need to first ask you if you are suicidal right now- because I can't help you- you have to call 911 and they will connect you with counselors that can help you get through this and you may need to go to the hospital--- just because you're on medications and you are seeing someone, that doesn't make them the "magic answer" and you know what I mean....the pills work a little and then NOT... therapy--- good for the time you're there- but what do you do when you're home alone? right?

Stop trying to fit in, I have--- I am ME, and I live each day like it's the first day of my life--- when I am in the "bad place" which I believe you are almost there right now, I think of the most pleasant experience I ever had--- I LOVE the beach and the ocean and lots and lots of sunshine--- I love the way it feels on your neck and on your face and you can hear the waves rushing in on the beach and then rushing back and the smell of the salt air smells sooo good, better than any perfume or food and I'm laying on the beach with a thatched unbrella drinking exotic drinks in coconuts with umbrellas--- there isn't a cloud in the sky---not one and if you look real hard, you can see huge ocean liners way out on the horizon---but the sound, the sound of the ocean---that is what keeps me going---- I wish I lived near the ocean but I don't and what I just described is what "saves" me when I'm ready to "lose it all" .......I'm too embarrassed to go into any more details about myself but think about something that makes you feel good and if that doesn't do it for you.... you really need to call or go to the er tonite--- your meds aren't right and you need help... please don't drive... have someone drive you or call a cab.....I hope I helped, I pray I helped you.......please......be SAFE..........

Answer 2

Hi,

Has your therapist or psychiatrist given you a complete diagnosis yet? You must tell your therapist that you are feeling this way - there is always help somewhere. I experienced racing thoughts, severe depression, and panic disorder for most of my life. In the past three years, I've found a wonderful therapist and a good combination of medications to lessen the intensity.

Without knowing your diagnosis, it seems you are, at the very least, clinically depressed. Sounds like you may have an anxiety disorder as well. It is so important that you talk to someone - family member, therapist, anyone you may trust. I suffered for nearly 29 years. I believed nothing would ever change and was close to suicide. My thoughts were obsessively negative as well and I didn't think I could stand any more. I am 32 now, and I have never felt better in my life. I am fortunate, yes, but I also asked for and accepted help when I reached a point of utter desperation. I didn't reach out to anyone I knew so much as to the services available to me. I had an absolutely terrible fall before I received the help of people I didn't even know. Think about trying an inpatient psychiatric program. It doesn't make you "crazy". People have negative attitudes toward it because they cannot understand it. It's hard ask sometimes, but it's necessary too. There are so many people who are experiencing the same feelings as you. You have my empathy and my sympathy. I promise you, from experience - there are so many resources out there; groups, outpatient services, inpatient services (which may be the best idea if you are feeling suicidal), experienced people and those going through exactly what you are. Ask your therapist/doctor about what you can do to try and break this mindset.

NEVER lose hope. Every day I thank goodness I didn't. I came so close. I still suffer some of the same symptoms but I can accept and live with them now. My depression has lessened dramatically, but I still have panic attacks often. The difference is, I know that there is always someone to turn to (even if there seems to be no one, you'd be surprised what you find when you ask for help and speak to like-minded people), and the attacks themselves are much less devastating than they were three years ago. The racing thoughts have lessened incredibly. I am still avoidant of some social situations, especially work-related ones, but I've been taught to accept me for me. You need to tell your psychiatrist that the medications are not working; there are always different combinations that work better for different people. It may be a long process, but it is well worth it.

Anny, I honestly believed my life was over by the time I was 29. It was just beginning. There is a bright side, I promise.

Answer 3

I'm 31 and have had the obsessive negative thoughts for over 10 years.i have never tried the suicide but avoid everything most of the time. i even have a problem with getting a job when i go to an interview im always wondering what their thinking and my body goes numb and the stupidist stuff comes out my mouth i always feel like everyones looking at me or thinking bad things about me. i use to see a doctor for it and was on celexa nothing seems to help.ive been told im possibly bipolar because of the mood swings.sometimes i go shopping and spend too much money,or gamble.most of the time i stay home and avoid everyone because it gets pretty hard dealing with those feelings so i definitly can relate with you.

Answer 4

Why are you feeling like your arent fitting in? Why are you feeling like you cant interact with other people? I know .. its a dark corner of your life.I feel the same way. I am married but I feel so in the dark. But trying to pull my way out of this depression. Your interaction with other people .. you dont really have to go this way. You have to interact with you self. Ask why ? Please dont do this to yourself. everyone feels lonely if i can make a contribution to your life I want to help,,All of us are feeling this way so why do you think you are the first one to feel this way.? Ask yourself can i make a different in someone elses/ life . can i make this person keep on living as well as my own. If you can save one one life then its worth the extra step. You have to step up.. wake up meds are just mind altertering. THat isnt what life is about. Take charge of your life.You are bigger .. and life is much more important than taking ones own live.

Answer 5

not exactly but i know what you mean, my life feels like a train that went off its tracks, out of control, so life is holding me by a thread and could let go at any minute.

Answer 6

Just hold on to Faith and God he knows what you are facing now and soon all your troubles will be over.Try to think positive your day will come.Lighten up it's not the end of the world find people and places that you like and hold on to the good.You don't have to beat yourself up.stand up and know you will get through this.Love you.

Answer 7

I can relate to life's overwhelming obstalces, I think most people can. If they cannot they have not lived long enough. When it gets difficult though I still away and lean on my heavenly Father. Get out and find a worthy cause to invest your efforts. Perhaps take a self enrichment course, you control your destiny. All problems are temporary...just find peace of mind in something.
God Bless You.

Answer 8

what do you do for you? Go for a walk or something for self care. What is killing yourself going to acomplish hurting your loved ones? Noone can live your life to the fullest for you!! Only you can change!! If you think your psychologist isn't helping try another but they can only give you the tools to change your life you need to change it?

Answer 9

I don't know you but it makes me wonder if you are trying to live up to what you think others expect of you. Maybe try being yourself and to hell with everyone else. If people don't like you for who your really are... they aren't going to like you for who you are not. Besides... if they don't like you for who you are they are the ones not worth having in your life.... not you. Be proud of the person you know you are... and ignore the poeple who can't see your genuineness and uniqueness. One thing I have learned in my life... if someone doesn't like me.... then I remind myself of those who truley love and respect me... even if it is only one person. Be yourself.. and be damn good at it.!!!!!\

Answer 10

Nope, never.