hey guys I have a problem with my nine year old daugher. Many time I have caught her masturbating is that normal?I am so shame. I have been single for a long time and she never saw me with no other men, not even her father. I also supervise the things she view on t.v. and she only play game on the computer. But this has been a year now. The first time I caught her was last year, and I was so upset, I pulled her and ask her who she saw doing that and why she did that. I questioned her so much she was crying, and she said she just like how it feels. Then I said how did u know to put your hand there,and she said when I washed her there it felt good, so she decieded to experiement. But to this day she is still doing it, and I told her many times, don't let me see her doing that. Does she have a problem? I am getting worried. I get so worried, I even told her about sex and boys. she is only nine!!! I stop bathing her though. I think probably she was to old for be to wash her.
2007-01-15 16:19:44 · 21 answers · asked by empress29 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
If you don't want her to do it show her in the BIBLE where it says it is wrong.
Give her the definition of what she is doing and tell her is is a sin to pleasure herself or to let anyone else do it until she is married. Her body is a temple!
If you don't have a religious problem with it, I guess you should at least talk to her. Kids are going to hear about things one way or another! It is better for her to hear about sex and boys from you. You should also talk to her about her body and the changes she is going to be dealing with soon!
2007-01-16 06:52:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
My gosh, calm down! It's completely normal! Maybe she's a bit younger than most, but it's no big deal. The only thing wrong here is how you are reacting to it. The last thing you should do is make her feel bad. It may be time for the birds and bees talk, and you should make sure she knows that what she is doing is okay, as long as she does it in private. I'm guessing you'd rather her masturbate than go find some boys to play "doctor" with, so make sure she knows it isn't a bad thing and you aren't mad or ashamed of her.
She'll most likely grow out of it or at least stop doing it so much, she just discovered it and it feels good, of course she's going to do it some more!
If it worries you, you can mention it to her pediatrician and see what they say, but I'm guessing they won't see the problem either.
Good luck to you!
2007-01-16 15:10:38 · answer #2 · answered by Verity 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is completely normal! Quit stressing her out and get off her back. You haven't done anything wrong and neither has she. If you keep freaking out she'll quit masturbating and maybe start having sex instead. She's not hurting anyone so leave her alone. Most children experiment with rubbing themselves because it feels good. They don't have orgasms because they aren't physically mature enough, but it still feels nice and it isn't hurting anybody.
Explain to her that it is something private, that she needs to keep private.
Asking her "who she saw doing that" is the kind of thing that can cause false child abuse accusations. They think they are in trouble and try to find someone else for you to be mad at.
I can't believe you made her cry! About something that is natural and an important part of her sexuality!
Don't you want her to grow up and get married and have a wonderful sex life with her husband someday? The way you reacted could make her feel like she's bad for doing that, and stunt her, make her ashamed of her body and her normal feelings. It could cause her not to enjoy her sexuality as much when she grows up.
How would you feel if you never were able to enjoy sex in your life?
Please don't do that to her.
And why the heck are you giving a 9 year old a bath? Don't you want her to be able to be a well adjusted independent person?
My 10 year old daughter has been taking baths and showers by herself since she was 5! (Of course she needed help washing her hair then because it was very long)
Lady, I hope you haven't screwed your daughter up royally! Get some therapy... for you!
2007-01-16 00:38:56 · answer #3 · answered by wada670 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
With all the hormones injected into the foods we feed our kids these days, puberty starts younger than when we were growing up. She is exploring her body. It is nothing to be ashamed of, assumming she is not doing it in public!
I know it rattles you. You are a Mom and you want your kid to be your baby forever. She is going to grow up. Be there for her, listen to her and answer any questions hse has in a calm and factual manner. Do not project shame, fear or judgement into sexual discussions. You do not want her to feel like she can't talk to you or that she has to feel dirty, shamed or afraid. If she can't talk to you, she will get her education from other girls or worse .... boys!
Just take a deep breath, relax, take out a book on how to talk about this with her from the library and remember that this too shall pass.
2007-01-16 00:55:27 · answer #4 · answered by Army family. 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It's completely natural at that age, and by making her feel guilty for it you're actually causing a lot of emotional harm to her. She'll start to think sex is this horrible, dirty, BAD thing.. and it's not.. when you're OLD ENOUGH! Just talk to her about sex and everything else and make sure she knows she can count on you when she's ready to experiment. NOT ALLOWING HER THIS WILL NOT CAUSE HER TO NOT HAVE SEX.. IT WILL JUST CAUSE HER TO HAVE SEX BEHIND YOUR BACK (with no birth control or knowledge of protection and common myths associated with std's and pregnancy). Don't make a big deal out of it.. it's totally normal. If you don't believe me, contact a Pediatrician or child psychologist. Don't make her feel guilty about it.. that's the worst thing you can possibly do!!
2007-01-16 00:26:26 · answer #5 · answered by Candikane 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
As embarrassing as it is for you to catch her (and probably is for her to be caught) I think it is totally normal. It does feel good to be touched there - and I'm pretty sure she just figured it out on her own. Kids explore their bodies and notice things like that. I don't think she has any problem - from what I understand this is a totally natural thing.
2007-01-16 00:25:37 · answer #6 · answered by crank726 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
thats totally normal you need to care about her more spend more time with her dont say no or she will try to hide it even more just like you said she was, that way you wont know what she is up to but if you seem supportive enough u will be a part of her sexual life. which way you will have control, and will have the respect to say no to things that matter more.
2007-01-16 00:29:37 · answer #7 · answered by sweetxxbitter 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i walked in my son rooms and saw him having a ****, hes 14 and my grandson plays with himself sometimes, all kids do a bit, you are going to give her a sexual problem if you keep going on like you do. I think you are going way over the top. She will want to do it more as you have made such a big thing about it, if you had ignored it, they all do it. its exploring their, although i was embrassed when i saw my son doing that.
2007-01-16 05:17:29 · answer #8 · answered by denise g 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure it was very shocking to walk in on that.... but, it is very normal. It's human nature to explore. You shouldn't get mad at her, but you do need to explain that it is a private act... there is a time and place.
Look on the bright side... it's better than if she were messing around with boys.
2007-01-16 00:36:29 · answer #9 · answered by naenae0011 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know it might we awkward, but it is perfectly normal. Not to be too forward, but kids when they find out about masturbation, you might as well not buy anymore toys. It becomes there favorite thing.
Take this time to apply the lessons that life has taught you, and tell her that it is okay to masturbate, but warn her about sex. Good luck.
2007-01-16 00:25:20 · answer #10 · answered by EATTHEAPPLE 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋