Help I'm scared and I don't know what to do?

Question

my boyfriend wants me to meet him at the hilton hotel tonight for the after party but it's only gonna be a couple of us my three girlfriends and three of his homeboys plus me and him but the thing is it might lead to sex and I don't think that I'm ready yet I feel like I'mma throw up I don't think I can handle this pressure right now but if I back out my friends and my boyfriend will think I'm a chicken and laugh at me and then I might be the laughing stock of the entire school but if I go my parents will probably ground me for life I mean what can I do my palms are sweaty and I'm shaking so bad I can hardly stand up this is my first time doing this so I need some help please!?

Answer 1

Sweety all you have to do is be strong I know it's easier said than done at this age but your gonna have to learn how to stand up for yourself and be a leader not a follower and if they aren't your friends anymore because of something so stupid then they weren't your friends to begin with and who want's people like that around them. You have your own mind and your own heart follow it don't worry about everyone else because if something bad happens then you'll feel regretful and guilty then that's something you'll have to "try" to hide from your parents but you know they will find out one way or another

Answer 2

The one person you haven't mentioned here is God. The reason you feel so bad is that you already know the right and the wrong of it. But, since you haven't thought about God's perspective and since I am a preacher and have been one for about 22 years, I'll take a chance and speak on His behalf.

First, I gave you the gift of sex for several reasons. When you would eventually marry, you and your husband would enjoy the same delight that I have in the creation of a new human being. You would bring forth your baby into a family environment with a husband that would provide for you and your children. Your being a good mother would be a reflection of your parents training and love. Do you think they would want you to be hurt by possibly getting an STD or having a baby out of wedlock?
And say you did get pregnant. Is it really their responsability to raise your out of wedlock children? Or perhaps, like so many others, you will just sweep that child out of your life through an abortion. You'll regret that decision forever.

And what about that future husband of yours. Do you really think he wants a woman who has been around with other men? Giving yourself to him that first time is a special gift a woman can only give once. You will probably have sex many times, but you will be a virgin to a man only once. It's a valuable thing and of great worth. You should treasure it.

Finally, there's you. The most important things you have are your name and your reputation. Any decent young man would be careful to protect your reputation and your good name. Young ladies have been devastated when their reputation is damaged by a foolish man. I see your future with a bad reputation. The only boys wanting to date you then, will expect you to put out. They will work hard to seduce you, maybe even use a date rape drug on you. After all, you won't have a reputation to protect anymore. Is the few moments of pleasure, best kept for your marriage, worth the shame, pain and loss of reputation that will happen to you?

I designed you for a much better life. Take a good, hard look at the other girls who were careless in this area. Do you not think that they would change their circumstances if they could do it all over again?
Alas, your life isn't a do-over event. Some things you people do will affect you for the rest of your lives down here on Earth.

Now go! Do the right thing and make me proud of you. Don't let yourself be placed into a risky, tempting situation.

With loving respect,
God

Answer 3

DON'T GO!

If you don't stand up for your rights, no one will.

1) You need to dump the guy because he's a loser -- and he makes this abundantly clear by putting you in the position you described!

2) You're clearly NOT ready for sex, and you won't be for at least the next couple of years (24 months). That doesn't mean you will be ready for it then: it just means you won't be ready for it before then.

3) Anyone that would "think [you're] a chicken and laugh at [you]" because you had the good sense to avoid a situation that would obviously be disastrous for you isn't your friend: each such person is your enemy.

4) If your boyfriend would let you be made a laughingstock for ANY reason -- ESPECIALLY for the reason you give -- further proves that he is just a waste of flesh and unworthy to breathe the air shared by humans.

Advice in a nutshell:

1) DON'T GO!

2) DUMP THE "BOYFRIEND!"

3) GET NEW (REPLACEMENT) FRIENDS!

4) DON'T LOOK BACK!

Answer 4

Call your boyfriend to confirm the details of the party and be in a happy mood. Casually tell him you hope no-one pairs off because you are not ready to go the whole way, then quickly change the subject to what you'll be wearing or something before he gets the chance to comment on that. Then you've told him and if it gets "dirty" during the evening you can smile confidently and say, "but I told you I'm not ready for that". Otherwise he may think he's gonna get some at the party.

Answer 5

You can be cool and end of getting hurt, pregnant, std, etc or look like a chicken and still have a good life. If your bf really loves you he will respect the fact you do not want to go hotel and your friends will respect that you dont want to go to the hotel. Sounds like you might be hanging with the crowd since it seems like your the only person uncomfortable with this situation.

Answer 6

Stay home call him or text him and tell him your mom caught you leaving the house to save face. If you are this nervous and upset you are not ready for what the night has in store for you. If you can trust your mom not to flip out on you tell her some friends are pressuring you into going somewhere and you need her to cover for you and say she caught you leaving. Heck let her pretend ground you for a week or two if not being the laughing stock makes a difference to you. I personally would say if your friends would laugh at you for going you need better friends but that would be the mom in me talking.

Answer 7

You are feeling pressured. Resist. Here's an analgous story:
My sister was in a park one night with her girlfriends. They were carrying beer with them. All were underage. This park was frequented by the police,who would hide in the bushes waiting for kids to come by with alcohol so they could bust them. All in the party knew this. So as they were walking along, my sister's friends pressured her to carry some of the stuff. She didn't want to refuse because she would be a laughingstock. But what she did was to take the stuff, but then drop it on the path, unbeknownst to her erstwhile buddies. Sure enough, as they walked down the path, the cops jumped out and busted everyone except my sister, who was the only one not carrying booze. She was pressured, but she resisted and the moral of the story is that you should not do what you don't want to do just because others want you to do it. Now go to bed (by yourself!).

Answer 8

NEVER let your friends pressure you to do something you don't want to do. Maybe if you tell your parents you don't want to go somehow they can bail you out of this. Maybe you should tell your friend's parents what is going on. I know it's tough because you want to be cool, but it's not cool to be a pregnant teenager. Tell your boyfriend the truth and if he doesn't like and tells the school then does he really love you. And if your friends say your uncool then how true of friends can they be. Do the right thing for you not for them. I know what it's like to be made fun of, trust me its not the end of the world. What would be the end of the world would be doing something you'd regret.

Answer 9

for starters just calm down, obviously you are not ready for sex, and if your boyfriend really loved you then he will understand this, if you wanna have some fun with him tonight that is okay, not everything has to lead to sex, when it starts to get a little bit oo heated foe you, then just explaine to him that you are not ready.
if you are owrried about your friends and your bf laughing at you...don't be if they are true friends then they will support your decision, and so will your bf, this is a good chnace to also see if your firneds are true ones, and if your bf really loves you, you should never keep a relationship going with a guy if you know that he only wants sex, because the only perosn that is going to get hurt in the end is you! don't give into pear pressure!

good luck and just follow your heart honey!

Answer 10

This trip to a hotel most likely is going to lead to you being forced to do something you are uncomfortable with. Most likely it will end up embarrassing with you there, if you go which will be much more uncomfortable than if you just say, I cant make it...or say your sick and throwing up....(which wont really be a lie since your nervous) Do yourself a huge favor tonight and worry about you....You could regret this is you go....Hotel parties...usually equal sex...Please dont go!

With worry,
Jen