Last summer I got out of a 2 year long emotionall & sometimes physically abusive relationship. My life has improved greatly ever since & i never give my decision a second thought. However, he still has two entire books of my CDs & I really, really want them back. i love my music & I cant bring myself to just say, forget it. I have some of his things too & want to get rid of them but I dont want to have to see him. He will still randomly text me over & over saying he "still loves me but hates me"-- hes just not that nice of a guy & very controlling, i KNOW i dont want to face him again. My current boyfriend (the sweetest guy in the WORLD) tells me I should just forget it but its drivin me crazy! i thought about telling him to meet me somewhere & then having my parents go instead, but i don't know how that would go. I also considered asking him to mail them & i would mail his stuff but i dont know how he'll respond to that, i dont want him to go crazy & trash them. HELP!!
2007-01-15 15:53:10 · 22 answers · asked by cilla z. 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
okay..you can either...do the mailing thing..if he trashes them..you can get him in trouble for that...you can have your boyfriend do it..if youre scared a fight will happen..because your ex is REALLY that bad..bring the cops into it..but that seems a lil drastic...have a friend do it..once again if hes REALLY that bad...have the cops present..but dont do it yourself..hes clearly a threat to you! and you dont need to deal with it! OR...you can buy some new ones..but give his stuff back..pronto so it doesnt look like youre in anyway at a fault...
2007-01-15 15:58:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, you don't want to initiate any contact. I suggest you get an extra job and start buying those CDs at the local used CD store in town. No matter what kind of contact you have with an abusive person, it will end up BADLY ---as soon as you make any attempt to contact him, he will take this as a 'go ahead' sign to harrass you again ---believe me, I've had personal experience with this. Either that or you could pretend to miss him, get close enough to nab your stuff back and then dump him ----but the ultimate price you pay might not be worth it just for some STUFF you can actually replace. Your negative feelings that you are feeling and that INTENSE desire to get your stuff back is what you really should be working on, and, learn from this relationship and the next time any boyfriend starts displaying any of the the previously witnessed behaviors RUN as fast as you can ---keep your own place and your own stuff in your place in the meantime.
2007-01-15 15:59:58 · answer #2 · answered by XOXOXOXO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u have the sweetest b/f in the world right now u would not be worrying about any damn cd's especially if they arfe by your ex's crib. if those cd'a are that important u can by some more or burn the cd's ok swettie don't take the risk of this guy seeing u again. but it seems like to me u are holding something back like u are giving urself an excuse just to get back over there. just let him know that you want your stuff and u want to return his and thats all u want. r u can ask him to mail it to u.
2007-01-15 16:01:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him to meet you at a mc donalds or somthing to exchange everything. Have your dad with you and a cell phone handy in case he gets crazy. Have your dad actually give him his stuff and get yours. Although I don't think it will work. My brother went to meet my ex to exchange stuff (my jewelry and box) and although I gave him back his stuff my broither brought home a jewelry box that wasn't mine and it was full of junk jewlry. Mine was all real stuff like the black hills gold set from my dad and my diamonds.. I still think about it from time to time but at least I got out with my life. If he abused you he will only try to hurt you again if the stuff means that much to you then try but don't argue with him and don't count on seeing that stuff again..All these people saying to get the sheriff to help.. They won't, there is nothing legally you can do unless you have reciepts in which case you have to sue him for it.
2007-01-15 16:02:58 · answer #4 · answered by Chrissy #1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Legally you just contact the sheriff's dept and be accompanied by a deputy when you go over. Tell him it might be best if he isn't there. If you know any cops you might ask one to go with you when he's off duty. All this doesn't come together, find two of the biggest guys you can at your local gym and tell em your story. Have them go with you. Explain to him that one is your new bf-"the Marine". Buy em dinner afterwards or a case of beer.
2007-01-15 16:01:00 · answer #5 · answered by D4gotten1 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You might be wise to leave the stuff with him. There's nothing there by the sounds of it that couldn't be replaced. If you can arrange for your parents or a friend to pick up the things, then fine. But do NOT, under any circumstances, go there yourself.
2007-01-15 15:59:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be nice about it. It will just take a few minutes to meet up with him to get your CD's. Take your boyfriend or close friend with you. It will probably be a waste of time though cause he has probably scratched each and every one of them -which would suck. I feel you on wanting your mucis back, so give it a try.
2007-01-15 16:00:41 · answer #7 · answered by krenee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let go of the CDs. Forget them...they are gone forever. In fact, I bet he does not even have them anymore. Throw out his stuff and start your music collection over.
2007-01-15 15:57:08 · answer #8 · answered by bashnick 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why? Why did you experience the ought to bypass into your exs digital mail? i think of if something you ought to easily returned off and re-make investments your self on your marriage. What your ex is or could have been isn't an argument. he's a prior relationship, bypass away him interior the previous.
2016-10-31 05:43:14 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u may just have to let this stuff go. Look at it this way, it was worth giving those things up in order to get away from him.
but if you absolutely can't let it go (and fyi it sounds like you haven't completely let him go either) them ask him about mailing or get some one else to exchange the stuff for you.
2007-01-15 15:58:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋