Now that we have had sex, he seems different. His performance was quick and terrible and I have not even told him that! He just treats me with a little less respect almost like now he is just too comfortable. Any advice?
2007-01-15 15:28:56 · 27 answers · asked by niki 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Tell him how you feel, Love can be a wonderful thing don't keep your feeling inside express yourself. Help him to open up and be more passionate and affectionate. It will be fun, this is the fun part, explore, exploit, experience, make him work , don't be easy.
2007-01-15 15:42:37 · answer #1 · answered by VALENTINO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. I am a man and know that when innocence is broken and we are not commited by marriage, life seems a little more sad. I believe that we feel that way because we have grieved God within us and the real purpose for what sex was intended to be for.
My suggestion is not to indulge again because the feelings and actions will worsen. After a little more of that, there will be more disrespect and arguing with backing off from one another. If it goes deeper, there will be denial and a hardening of the conscience. It will continue to degrade the relationship.
Guys are more sexual when they are younger. Women catch up in their late 30's and 40's. So, right now I think it is best for the girl to make sure it never gets to that point and discuss it with her boyfriend.
There is a great book that helps those of us understand this mystery called... Why Singles are not Married & the Married are Single. I found it on Amazon. All of the consequences we will face are talked about. But, we can reverse it all if we really try.
2007-01-15 15:48:16 · answer #2 · answered by pob2572 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to honestly and openly confront the respect issues NOW. This is very, very common in men when premarital sex is introduced into a relationship.
Forget about the sexual performance issues for now, that's a very minor issue that could be attributed to any number of factors.
What's most important is how he treats you as a person when you've got your clothes on. And if in any way you feel he treats you with less respect, you need to call him on it, be specific and clear with examples. Stay level-headed, don't get sucked into a fight or become defensive.
But you have to stand your ground on this now, or any chance for your relationship to proceed with mutual respect will be lost permanently.
Best to you.
2007-01-15 15:33:54 · answer #3 · answered by Timothy W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say how long you have been together. Most men don't get comfortable until about 6 months in some just 2 months. If you give it up to quick they lose respect right away no matter how much before that they tell you they love you, so I'll leave you with that.
2007-01-15 15:32:55 · answer #4 · answered by egyptorbust 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What did you expect seriously for guys to have sex with you and still treat you the same? of course theyre going to think theyre king sh!t once theyve done you even if it was terrible. Talk to him in private an tell him to stop being so immature and to give you some respect, if he doesnt, then he really is a shallow person and SLAP HIM!
2007-01-15 17:00:06 · answer #5 · answered by WomanSoHeartless 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the others that you hooked-up with a loser: he's one of those guys that has the 4F policy regarding women ("find, fondle, fvck, forget").
My advice to you is to move on, putting that a$$hole as far behind you as you are able: you're better than he.
It sux you had to go through the storm in nature and then you get hit by one in your personal life, too. There is a decent guy out there that will love and respect you -- so don't give up hope for finding one.
Oh, and not being a virgin is totally NOT a problem if the guy is worth your time:
I bought into that religion-thing and turned down lots of offers I now wish I had accepted: it wouldn't have hurt anybody, and both I and the ladies offering it to me would have had a great time.
When I met my (now ex-) wife, she had 2 boys (2yo, 5yo) by her ex-hubby; she had divorced him a year earlier & was in her 3rd yr of college (RDH program) and I had a small (16-state) airfreight business.
Fortunately for me, I had devoted great effort to learning how to please a woman, and my wife was delighted (she bragged on me to EVERYONE, and tried to pimp me out to all her friend girls and her mom).
Thinking back, I wish I'd taken her up on those offers, too -- but religiosity prevented me (and caused me to divorce her). In retrospect, she was the ultimate wife anyone could ever have hoped to have -- but I was too stupid to see that then.
The point is that sex doesn't have to be the big deal all the religious freaks make it out to be -- and it DEFINITELY doesn't have anything to do with love (as you found out is the case with that guy).
On the other hand, it's better if you only have sex with people to whom you are romantically attracted, unless your partner is (or partners are) one the same page with you about it just being for fun.
2007-01-15 16:03:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesnt treat you the same way than you may want to look at the situation you are in. If he is not giving you respect than i would tell him that. Or if you want to get to the point tell him he was't good and theres no reason for himt o be so arrogant- than point him in the right direction of what is good during sex :)
2007-01-15 15:32:10 · answer #7 · answered by the_sky_is_my_sanctuary 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he think he was terrible sex? or does he think it was good? If he thinks it was bad maybe he knows it was him. and now he doesn't know how to act around you. maybe he feels inadequate. If not just let him know that things have changed in your relationship and you need a little more respect.
2007-01-15 15:35:36 · answer #8 · answered by pup37 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm on the gay component to this equation. We stay acquaintances, and in certainty appropriate acquaintances. He does not would desire to be on his shelter with me. I even have great power of strategies as do maximum gay adult men with today acquaintances. We shuttle jointly and have even had to sleep interior a similar bunk jointly. What we do proportion is plenty greater advantageous than what we can't proportion, i does not provide up this friendship for something. including a guy i'm going to have intercourse with.
2016-10-20 06:46:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this the guy you just met a week ago? Gee, can't imagine why he'd be treating you with less respect since he knows how easy you are to get into bed.
2007-01-15 15:32:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋