I fell madly in love with a woman. We were together for three years then she left. I don't really know why. To me, if your love was real then it is absolute. It has been almost four years since she has gone and I love her as much now as then. I have done things for her behind the scenes to help her still and even risked my life once. She will never know any of this as she is now on the other side of the country. Will I have to be this way till death? Please, honest advice only.
2007-01-15 15:19:08 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I had to unlove someone once too, and I tried looking for ways to make it stop hurting and to make the feelings go away but there is no magic cure to unlove someone you once had given part of yourself to. It's an empty void now because that person still has that piece of you. You just have to let it run it's course but, you will never really be completely over it. That sounds so...pessimistic but, try filling that void. Try a new hobby or do something for yourself for a change, helped me a little.
2007-01-15 15:28:30 · answer #1 · answered by Caitlin G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly? I think you still have feelings for her because you still seem so involved with her. Take a deep breath, and let everything involving her drop. Let it go. You will never completely get over her while you are "helping" her and doing things like risking your life for her (?). If she truly needed you, trust that she would ask for your help. Question: are you helping her with the secret desire that she find out, and then regard you as her hero and fall back in love with you? (Just asking!) Oh, and as an outsider, what you are doing could be construed by a paranoid person as a type of stalking (I'm not saying that's what you're going! I'm just saying someone could interpret it that way.) You need to stop this girl "cold turkey". Remember, if her love for you was absolute, you'd still be together. If you still need closure, then call her and asked her why she ended it. Find out once and for all, and then move on with your life.
It'll take a while. You won't get over a relationship like that overnight. Three years is a long time, but you have been pining over her for longer than the actual relationship lasted. You need to shake her off, and get living your life without her, not wishing she'd come back in to it.
2007-01-15 23:32:19 · answer #2 · answered by jeffs_wife_ali _&_adams_mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a hard question. Some people will tell you to get over her as she has done with you. But if you believe it is true love it is something your own heart will never be able to control. I have a boyfriend now and know we will marry one day, but feel if he left me i would be in your position. I would never stop loving and caring for him. It is nice that you have helped her out still, dont let it become obsessive though - she might not appreciate someone interfering with her life.
have you tried meeting new women to get over her? its only advice and you dont have to do it, it just might be good to go on a holiday away frmo your work/life at the moment and just chill. Find out what youre life is focused around and if it is 'her' then maybe you should change that. Noone wants to live their life based on someone, in love with someone - who doesnt feel the same way, and doesnt love you back, you have to ask your self is it worth it? its most likely she has moved on and is happy with her life she has now. Isnt that something that would be most important to you anyway? Wouldnt you prefer she not be with you but be happy, rather than stay with you in a falling relationship? i dont mean to make you feel bad im just trying to give advice to such a complex question.
Good luck for your life.
PS. Haev you considered asking God?
2007-01-15 23:31:59 · answer #3 · answered by WomanSoHeartless 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she doesn't feel the same towards you then yes it will have to be this way. It is sweet and romantical (my made up word) that you love her even though she is gone and are still intertwined in her life without her knowing. Maybe someday another woman will find a place in your heart.
2007-01-15 23:28:44 · answer #4 · answered by Smartygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll always love her. Eventually, that love will occupy a corner of your heart and make an appearance about once every 5 years.
2007-01-15 23:24:44 · answer #5 · answered by S K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to change your focus. You obviously want these feelings for her to go away however if you dwell on them they will stay. I suggest that you focus on what you want and the things tat make you happy. Law of Attraction works. You attract what you think about, so while your thoughts are on her, you will continue to feel this way. You must change your thoughts.
2007-01-15 23:33:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's up to you. I hope you don't think she is the only fabulous girl in the world. Find you another fish to fry. Don't dewell on it.
2007-01-15 23:27:06 · answer #7 · answered by pleasantville982001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have been tryin to figure that out myself..it will be hard but u will have to get over her either by gettin another g/f or focusin on ur own life.
2007-01-15 23:24:17 · answer #8 · answered by bandi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to move on and find someone else to love who will love you back with all their heart and not break your heart.
2007-01-15 23:29:13 · answer #9 · answered by musicislife808 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋