I'm a "cutter"...?

Question

I have a wonderful, loving family, my family is good off, I have the best friends imaginable, I am a straight-A student, I am loved by everybody, and I don't have a bad past yet I cut myself. I am so confused and selfish but I don't know where I would be if I stopped. I want to cut but it is painful unlike many other "cutters" who say that it brings relief. My friends know that I did cut myself but don't know that I still cut. I have even made some of my friends who used to cut themselves promise to never hurt themselves again if I don't but I still do because I can't stop. I feel so miserable and depressed yet I have nothing to be depressed about. I feel stupid and my grades are slowly falling. Please someone tell me what to do.

being so loved and then cutting makes everything worse and makes me more depressed. after first posting this, i went a cut up my arm b/c of how selfish i was being. i deserve it. thank you all for the nice comments. writing wont help me, i only write poems about cutting b/c it is always on my mind. i feel the urges every second of the day. i know that i need a hobby but i cant find one that is good for me, i recently gave up on my hobby that i have been doing for almost 2 years now. im giving up on everything, even myself. i dont want to tell someone (doctor, parents) b/c i dont deserve it. i only came on here b/c i really needed advice and opinions. doctors dont need to be wasting their time on me.

Answer 1

Hi, and it is very courageous of you to speak up and describe you current feelings and situation.
Sometimes people use cutting, shop lifting, alcohol and drug abuse because of the "high catching". They are trying to feel as good as they felt the first time they used/abused. These individuals may use these techniques to "high catch" when they are upset or angry because of something is not going the way they want.
Also, there may be something that happened to you that yo can't exactly pin point...a circumstance in your life that that was life changing and this is the way that you have reacted to it.
Like other individuals who use and abuse they have been living that way for a while and the use pr abuse is a part of them. Like when they think of the selves "IE I am "Amanda" I am in grade 12, I like dogs, and am a "cutter".
Talk to someone in confidence, a counselor, talk to Kids Help Phone, your local Crisis Services, or Shelter.

Answer 2

Listen, honey, I am in my 30's now, but I did cut myself when I was a teenager, only once though. I had a different way of hurting myself that I will always carry scars for, so I don't forget. In the last year, I crashed and burned,a nd went through all that crap again. First things first, good for you for admitting this and being able to talk about it. Sometimes that can be the hardest thing to do! Honestly, you need to find someone you can talk to that you are comfortable with, be it a teacher, councelor (school or otherwise). And, this is the tricky part, get yourself happy. Yes, it's easier said than done! I know this sounds hokey, but try reading positive motivation books, any books that make you feel good and get your mind off your troubles for a while. Depression is tricky, but it is a liar, too! Depression lies to you everday and makes you be unhappy about yourself. If you have a hobby that you love, or used to love, get back into that, or try something new. Trust me, it helps. And try to be around happy, positive people if you can!

Answer 3

Hun, you'd be surprised how many 'cutters' feel this way. Just because nothing horrible or distinctly traumatic has happened to you doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid. Please, don't be afraid to seek help. It could be that there is an underlying psychological disorder at play here. Things don't have to 'happen' to people for them to have problems with depression. A lot of this can be genetic, and a lot of it can be learned. Depression, PTSD, OCD, and bipolar disorder run in my family and I have had very loving parents. But they were both ill. For me, I think it was a mix between genetics and learned behavior. They taught me to be depressed all the time. They were very loving, but always unhappy. It was hard to understand at the age of three.

But these feelings are not your fault. Feelings, per se, are never anyone's fault. And the only thing you can really do is try to make the best of it. Try to talk to someone, anyone. Just letting it out here was a good step.

Answer 4

Imagine what you would tell your friends who were previous cutters if you found out that they were cutting themselves again. (I also think you should understand that if you would be dishonest about not cutting so would they.) Being depressed can have absolutely nothing to do with your life, just a hormonal imbalance. It is no ones fault and the only thing you can do is to fix this imbalance. If you don't know how to get the help you need, call your general doctor and they will make a reference for you. Do get help because one day you will cut something that shouldn't be EVER cut, like an artery, and you will not survive. I really hope you get better and learn, through help, to love yourself enough to not hurt or cause hurt to it anymore.

Answer 5

You have taken the first step by admitting you need help.
Next, you need to admit it to someone else. This could be one of your friends, your parents, brother/sister, a teacher, a counsellor (school?), you doctor, etc.. Once they know, they can help you get the help you need. It sounds like you have wonderful people in your life and will not be lacking support but you can't get it unless you ask for it.
Try writing in a journal, especially when you feel like cutting. This may help you get some of the feelings behind it out and may also help you understand why you cut. There may be certain "triggers" that cause you to cut.
Talking to a therapist would also be very good for you but don't settle for one you don't feel comfortable with. It may take a few sessions before you know if you're comfortable and trust them or not. Your family doctor should be able to refer you to one.

MOST OF ALL - DON"T FEEL STUPID OR EMBARRASSED!!!!!
While this is not the right way to deal with your inner turmoil, it is more common than you think.

I wish you all the best and please realize that you are a very special person and need to treat yourself as such!!!

Answer 6

I think you should focus on the positive things that are going on in your life. You need to understand that things could be worse than they are for you. You could be poor, no parents, homeless, have a life threatening disease. Many other things that are horrible can be happening to you.. Try to find an outlet.. something that brings you joy. writing how you feel can help, keep a journal to get the depression and bad thoughts off your chest. then try to volunteer your services to less fortunate people. I am not judging you I have had problems with depression. I understand it is easier said than done. but it gets better. Search for what you think will make you happy and bring joy into your life . And be careful... One time you may go too deep you never know what will happen.. You will be in my prayers and Know that you are blessed. You just have to own it and make all of the blessings you are do your own. :)

Answer 7

Hi-
I am so sorry you are in this situation. I have worked with a lot of cutters in the five years that I have been a counselor. You did not state exactly how old you are, but I am guessing you are a teen. First, as you already know, many teens cut as a way to cope. It is a really dangerous coping mechanism, but that is all it is, ultimately you need to find a healthy way to deal with things. Unless there are other things going on that you arent saying, most professionals know that your not trying to kill yourself and your not crazy. You need to talk to a professional who can help you find other ways to deal with your feelings. If you have a good relationship with your parents talk with them first, otherwise go to your school counselor and explain to him/her that you are having trouble right now and need some help.

Please stop cutting though. A former patient of mine who was not suicidal cut far too deep one time. I was on my way out the office door and almost missed her phone call for help. This beautiful young woman nearly died cutting. Find other ways to cope with your problems and your pain.

Answer 8

Good news: your not a emo kid.
Bad news: it needs to stop man.

I don't know why u started it; but the thing now is that its gotten to be an addiction. Your not depressed, your probably addicted.

You have two options one is less severe:

1:(less severe) try to cut it down. do it, skip a day, do it skip to days, and so on until its not even something you want to do anymore. Also you could get a hobby to get your mind away from the idea.

2: cunsult a psychaitrist(spelling?). It may not be what you want to do but if you cant do the first one this one IS necessary

Good Luck!

Answer 9

Umm you could try doing little things to help yourself if you are scarred about talking to you parents. For instance in when you fell like you are going to hurt yourself, grab a rubber band or hair tire and put it on your wrist, and flick yourself with it. You will still feel pain, bleed and possibly leave a mark. However this isn't leaving you with huge marks. Another idea is every time your about to go do something different eat some chocolate or go on the computer. These things might help, however it is always best to talk to an adult.

Answer 10

It sounds as if you have some self-esteem issues. You don't feel as though you deserve all of the great things that life has brought you i.e. a good family/friends, grades, etc... and maybe that you don't really deserve these things. Please accept these things as gifts in your life and stop trying to find reasons why you don't deserve them. Go speak to you school counselor or someone who can talk you though your feelings. Teen girls have so many feelings and emotions that it can be totally overwhelming. I feel for you honey - I was a teen myself once, and I have three daughters. I wish you the best. Chin-up.