should i ask my husband to choose his mother or me???

Question

i have been with my partner for seven years now and his mother is still trying to get me out of his life we hav two boys together and she favours the eldest,as she considers the second a mistake she has told me i will only ever be the mother of her sons kids and nothing to the rest of the family how do i solve this so evry1is happy???i cant take anymore plz help!!!

we tried to hav an adult discussion which ended in my husband going to his shed and my mother in law throwing my chairs and plates and things before i asked her to get out all happened in front of my two young boys

Answer 1

First of **** your mother in law and if your husband wants to roll with his mom than **** him too. I know you love him but if he loved you he would make his mother chill the **** out with that bullshit and I dont care if you report me for the profanity I am just keepin it real with you!! Who do you live for? Damn sure not that old bag you live for you and your boys and you dont have to worry about impressing her or her family because you dont lay down at night with his mom and the family you sleep with your husbands so if they dont like you tell them to kiss your ass and you dont giva **** and if you really wanna piss the ***** off tell her that thats why you got her son and he aint goin no wheres and you are going to make all the babie you want to make with him and see how she takes that!! Good luck girl!!

Answer 2

Can every physique grant help to? No. And could you maintain on with any sturdy propose? not likely. yet indexed under are some questions you some time past would desire to have asked your self: Why did you reside with this variety of guy? Why did you undertaking little ones to this variety of habit? (If it have been merely you, whats up, drama, drama, drama. yet to have your daughter see this borders upon cruelty... and besides sends her the message that that's how adult men handle women, and that's all they'd anticipate in any relationship.) you're staying with somebody who does not look once you, makes use of you, and you take a seat nonetheless for it. stunning. you do in comparison to this guy, hon, you adore what you prefer he have been and what you rather wish he would desire to be, and from this posting many times and throughout returned, he has shown to you that he's not that guy. What ARE you questioning? propose: Get some counseling, and get your head on today. initiate questioning approximately your little ones who never ever asked to be placed it this occasion. You write properly, so for sure you're knowledgeable and carry a marginally sturdy interest. in this section, you're far forward of a few of those poor women at here who write a similar element, yet say, "I never finished hs, have no skills, and no money saved. What do I do?" on your case, you seem to have a stash, or a thank you to get removed from this guy. how some years of this are you going to take, hon??????? you have wasted merely approximately a decade.... OMG. There are merely attractive adult men accessible, who could adore being your better half. yet you is merely not waiting to discover one with this albatross around your neck. Why did you have little ones in his presence the priority isn't between you and his mom.... the priority why do you even choose this guy? Frankly, i'm completely puzzled. All i will ask you returned, is what ARE you questioning? An abuser????? get genuine. look for a consultation or 2 of counseling......And get your self self assurance returned.

Answer 3

How would you feel,if the wife of your son will do the same as you are now ? I am afraid your husband will choose his mother,she is the woman who borned and raised him. And you been with him only for 7 years,your 2 sons is not a guarrantee that he will forsake his own mother for you,he only have 1 mother and he can divorce and marry severals times. You have two choicest ,LOVE HIS MOTHER, or get out of the marriage ,and move on. This is the second problems that I answered, Mother-inlaw versus daughter -inlaw. Or hate versus hate.

Answer 4

You can't really do much. Your husband is the one that needs to step up and be a real husband. For even in the bible it states that a son will leave his mother and father for his wife. He is your husband and he needs to put you first instead of his mom. BUT try not to make him choose. For some reason men think that the mother is more important. HE needs to realize that you are the mother of his kids and you are the wife. His mother will never be able to give him what you give your husband. Don't give up and let her win!

Answer 5

DAM IN LAWS!!! I SWEAR! First of all its your husbands responsibility to protect you and to talk to his mother. Yes I am sure that he is close to her, but honestly, it all boils down to your husbands fault. He does not have to choose one or the other, but he does have to stand up for you, when his mother is being disrespectful. If I were you, Id keep my distance from the family. Also, what does the children think to see there grandma treat you that way? That is not right! It this is not settled, this is definitely gonna put a damp into your relationship. I love my in laws, but I never like to get too close you know..I have my own life..the less they know about me, the better.

Answer 6

You can not please the old witch look up narcissistic in the med journals you will probably see a photo of her likeness there.
for the health of your children you need to remove her from your life. To hell with her happiness for she sure is screwing up your marriage your kids and YOU.
The good book says to leave your father and mother and cleave to your mate [paraphrase] . She has raised her family now its your turn.
Stand up to your hubby and tell him she goes or we move far away together or you go period. then I would put a peace bond on her.to make sure she stayed away.
Harsh you may believe.but if you do not do something the most precious gift you have will grow up to be just like her.

Answer 7

I don't get along w/ my mother in law either but I have NEVER asked my husband to choose. My husband is a big boy and he made his choice to be w/ me. I just keep my distance from her luckily she lives in another state but when we have to see each other we are cival towards each other. I do it in respect for my husband bcuz it is still his mother. But he knows not to expect me to go shopping alone w/ her or bake cookies together or anything like that. I wish I had a mother in law that I could do fun things w/ but that's life. Luckily my parents love my husband and welcomed him w/ open arms. I do get along great w/ my father in law so thats a plus! ha ha

Answer 8

No don't place your husband in the situation where he has to choose you or his mother it wouldn't be good. But you need to tell your husband since it is his mother that he needs to set her straight on some things and that things will have to change. One being to stop showing favoritism to the oldest son and another she'll have to make peace with you since you are his wife and he'll have to make her understand he will not continue to put up with her treatment to you or the youngest son. Only he can straighten her up with these matters. good luck ;o)

Answer 9

When a man marries, he is to leave behind his parents and care for his wife. When children enter our lives there should be more commitment between the parents. Do not ask him to choose between the two of you, but I would definately sit down with this man and ask him who is more important to him - you and the boys or his mother. Be prepared to not like his answer, in which case, you need to get on with your life and help the boys get on with theirs. They should not grow up in this kind of emotionally and verbally abusive environment. I think counseling is in order for you and your husband and he definately needs to tell his mom that he loves her but that you are his wife and with the children, you are your own family.

Answer 10

I hate to say this but NEVER ask someone to choose between you and their mother. You can ask that he stick up for you, you can ask that he help defend you. But you can't ask him to choose. It isn't fair. I know that is hard to understand but it isn't. You wouldn't want some woman doing that to you with your sons. BUT, what payoff is he getting from the two of you not getting along. Obviously he isn't getting rid of you. I would stay as far away from her as possible. Move if you have to. You can't make everyone happy, just concentrate on your significant other and your children. Heck with the rest of them! Good Luck:)

Answer 11

Assert yourself sweetie, simply tell her very politely to F........ OFF!!! I'm sorry if I've offended you, but seriously, you need to take her aside and tell her in no uncertain terms that thing I said before..................Also make it clear that you're his wife and the mother of his two boys and she will always only be his mother and the boys granny (emphasise the word granny) and in future would she please keep her opinions on the way you choose to organise your household and family to HERSELF.........You really do need to be blunt here..........It IS NOT an option for you to be considering asking your husband that question..........By the way, don't include your hubby in any of this but don't deny it if she drags him into it.........Good Luck..........Cheers.............:)