Casual S**?

Question

I don't understand how people can have casual sex with people they are not even dating and feel okay about it.

How can guys (and girls I suppose) so easily do this, without feeling guilt about treating another individual as a sex object, without having actual feelings for that person? Guys??

Answer 1

People confuse sex with love ...
Love and sex are two very different things...
I think we should get over or hangups and let people do as they please...
After all it is their body !

Answer 2

Sugar, there are a good many men and women who can enjoy casual sex, knowing that neither is harming the other. If she is interested, and willing, so am I. But I have to point out that I do have feelings for her, even if we've just met. I care about women in general and feel that they have the right to expect certain courtesies and considerations. I do my best to ensure she enjoys the encounter as much as I do. That means I don't just go "bim, bam, thank ya ma'am"...I take a great deal of time, listen to her tell me what pleases her and then do it. It's for mutual pleasure, and it takes women longer - sometimes a lot longer - to reach satisfaction in an intimate encounter.
I do not engage in intimacy with a woman who is intoxicated or drugged. I will not engage in intimacy with a woman who does not have the mental ability to discern whether it is in her best interest - in other words, I won't hit on a mentally/emotionally handicapped person. And I d a m n e d sure won't hit on an underage girl!! But yeah - I've had a full and wonderfully varied sex life. Then I married and settled down with a girl who felt the same way I do. It's been quite a few years, and we're both quite happy with our choices - we're "senior citizens", whatever the bloody h e l l that means...;-)

Answer 3

Ok, as a girl who has had casual sex with a few different guys let me just say that it isn't always easy. I don't know if this will make sense the way its written. Its kind of hard to explain.
Sometimes two people have more of a sexual connection then they do any other type of connection. Sometimes, as was my case (twice) neither of us wanted to be in a relationship or just had some reason why we couldn't be in a relationship together. We had fun hanging out together and having sex but there wasn't much connecting going on in other departments.
And then sometimes you have casual sex with a person because you want to be with them but can't (usually due to the other persons current relationship situation) and sex is the only way for you to be together.
Then there is always that person who you've been friends with for a while and things just kind of turn into sex one night when you are hanging out having a good time, when sex is the last thing on your mind regarding this person.

I have walked away from several situations where casual sex was involved and its hard sometimes to not let your heart get involved but you just have to be clear with each other about what you want from the relationship and if sex is all then you just have to keep reminding yourself that. Casual sex isn't neccessarily treating the other person as a sex object.
None of that probably makes any sense but hopefully you get the point.

Answer 4

casual sex is not about an emotional connection or anything nor is it about treating the other as a "sex object." it comes down to satisfying a deep seeded biological NEED. maybe it isn't for you but that doesn't mean it isn't for anyone or that those people who do it someone circumvent guilt. the fact is that if you do it and you like it and you are totally comfortable with it then guilt is not even an issue. you have to remember that sex is a biological thing and only in the last couple hundred thousand years of people existing on this planet has it been something with an emotional connection.

Answer 5

People often confuse sex with love. Love is not sex; sex is not love. Proof is in the number of failed marriages. Sex is simply a human primal urge. TRUE it does enhance a loving relationship. BUT if you base a relationship, are jealous and use it as a tool of control....well you get the picture. Sex can be enjoyable without the relationship burden if a relationship or commitment is unwanted. If consenting adults are responsible and know that sex STILL has consequences, it can be enjoyable in the way you describe. And it can build lasting friendships...with or without the sex afterward. But I'm a man....what do I know.

Answer 6

I'm a man, and I don't even understand it. It isn't a guy thing. I've known just as many girls who are into casual sex as guys. I hate it. There isn't anything wrong with sex, but it's just too special to be spreading it around like that. That's why I'm saving myself for marriage. Other reasons include diseases and unexpected pregnancy. (Pregnancy is also a good thing, but not outside of marriage. It causes social problems.) Good night!

Answer 7

alcohol. aggressive whores. someone with very low standards, probably IQ, morally bankrupt to begin with that having a daliance with seriously wont be doing any damage to. If the girl comes off to me as even somewhat respectable or hung up about what she is doing, I defer cordially in a roundabout way and see her off.
Well, thats what it takes for me. but if i think I found someone interesting and I am interested in them I find myself going into some sort of preservance mode for her, then I dont have any desire to be fielding it.
So its been years. Hardly laid at all. I am totally unhappy in my sex life now, but rather infested with token tidings about my conscience and self control. Meanwhile breaking up with GFs and would be girlfriends is the norm. The only reason I know my junk works anymore at all is morning wood.
I went from a rager to the guy thats crazy about his ex in the 40 year old virgin movie basically. So for me, love is the worst thing that ever happened. I have always had a very healthy conscience though, just very unfulfilled now in physical regard. and have better stuff to worry about than arguing with a nice dumb girl that manipulates me with words about love.
Seriously, Im the kind of guy that will pull over and help a stranger fix thier flat. I am not sure what my flaws are in maintaining a relationship. I know I have given probably about as much as any married person would (without kids yet that is).
new years resolution:
Going back to hoing. I hope to adopt someday. Just for myself. I still havent met a woman I can trust. The ones I convince myself to I cannot tollerate once they unwind and think they own me, and think impression time is over. I just say be real out of the box and you wont end up in stupid relationships. who knows? maybe i have commitment issues is all. but oh well, this world takes all kinds of people to work.

Answer 8

before i even give this questin an answer, have you ever did this? or have you had a bf to do this and you not know it until it was too late? it happens. can not stop it. get into talking and the next thing you know, the two of you are interested in each others body, and then the questions start, do? have you? would you? and finally, i will, i would and i like it. someone has the same reaction you have and your in bed, now if that bothers you. move on and do not worry about what he or she is thinking about you, because you already know the answer.........just say no and move on

Answer 9

Honestly I have when my ex left me after 3.5 yrs. I didn't care who or what happened after. A lot were guy friends but I really regret it. I just wanted loved and felt hopeless after waiting 3.5 yrs and getting nowhere with someone I thought I'd have a future with. Nonetheless, I found someone else, just had a baby 5 months ago, and we're gonna get married. He was in that trap too and I think all he wanted was real love too :-)

Answer 10

Well I don't get how people can get married (if they're one of the rare couples who actually stay together) and spend the rest of their lives stuck with one person day after day after day after day.

Answer 11

It is the human flaw which is the need for instant gratification.
Casual sex is an abomination against God!