For some reason the only way I feel comfortable in life is to be single, but yet I am so lonely and want to someone's love. How can this be? How can I get over this? It makes me want to have panic attacks (yes I do have them) just to think of being in a relationship, yet I long for someone's love to me. Please help!
2007-01-15 14:08:45 · 14 answers · asked by Lindsay H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Relax.
You get to wound up of being with someone.
Take it slow and have fun with it.
Good Luck
2007-01-15 14:12:25 · answer #1 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly, even if you are in a relationship, you may still feel lonely at times. If the person you are in a relationship with does not understand you or is mean to you at times, you will feel more lonely than you are when you are alone. And sometimes we feel feelings for no reason. There is not much you can do to prevent having feelings of loneliness. Just remember it is a feeling and it will eventually pass. Journaling helps when you are feeling lonely. There are some nice things about being single. You can get away from people. The person is not there to make fun of you and boss you around all the time. You can do what you want.
Lonliness can be learned. We are constantly bombarded with love songs and idealized relationships in movies. We yearn for our lives to be like these ideals. The love songs that stick in our heads train us to think constantly that all we need is love. But being married is not for everyone and it is not always ideal.
A study was done about why adolescents are lonely and it likely applies to everyone. It was found that they did not feel lonely if they were alone during the week and were shopping or studying, but they did feel lonely on a weekend evening when personal preference and social norms suggested they should be out with friends (Social Psychology, Taylor). So you could be feeling lonely because subconsciously social norms, songs, etc. have trained you to be lonely. Keep busy. Have friends. Cherish the good times. Because you are single, you can have time for yourself. If you don't have a pet, you may want to think about it. They love you unconditionally. And though a dog might chew up your shoes, most tame dogs will not chew up your heart on purpose. Good luck.
2007-01-15 22:25:10 · answer #2 · answered by FlowersinWinter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think what you need is a balanced approach between two extremes: Being Single & heavily involved with someone. By this I mean, you can find someone who loves you and with whom you can share all the warm delightful feelings of love and care, while you both recognize how each of you need some space too. Love is really bigger than the word tells! I think you are not the type who will dissolve into someone else's personality or life. It seems you like what you have achieved, and while you are looking for someone to share a part of your life with, you still wish to maintain a small part of it to yourslef. Just be patient, and I believe you will find the person who is suitable for you and who will be just like you, looking for the same thing. Good luck :)
2007-01-15 22:20:57 · answer #3 · answered by siliconfever 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay first of all, you feel uncomfortable about being in a relationship because you think that person will break your heart (i know how you feel). Secondly, the only reason you could get over your problem is to take a chance. I've been there and done that. You want to have someone to love you the way other's get loved, am i right? I have the same feeling. believe me. =X
2007-01-15 22:14:04 · answer #4 · answered by ggirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you are just scared of committment, ovbious;y belonging to one person is making you feel insecure.
just think about this, you could have alot of one night stands, but in the end none of them are going to mean anything, you will end up being lonely if you keep thinking like this.
or maybe on the other hand, maybe you ave just not found mr right, because when you meet him you will not want to be single again, just give yourself some time, and enjoy your single life, after a while it will start to wear off.
summer
2007-01-15 22:15:17 · answer #5 · answered by * <3 Summer <3* 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if the thought is giving you panic attacks you need to get counseling.
but marriage and all that isn't for everyone. I happen to love being single but you could still date around and have close friends who will all keep you company when you want to.
2007-01-15 22:13:10 · answer #6 · answered by josh/julie m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you are more suited to physical relationships only, where you get physical contact for a while, without the responsibilities that go with a committed emotional relationship.
2007-01-15 22:12:48 · answer #7 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U just want to be loved. U don't need to be in a relationship just as long as u surround yourself with people that love u.
2007-01-15 22:12:23 · answer #8 · answered by Steph1490 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the love you are looking for is the love that only God can give. Try getting closer to him.
2007-01-15 22:14:39 · answer #9 · answered by ms_lique 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you haven't found the right person for you and when you try to force it you panic.
Take your time, keep yourself busy doing things you enjoy and the right person will come along and you'll forget to be panicked.
2007-01-15 22:14:44 · answer #10 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋