Possessiveness............?

Question

I got a problem of possessiveness with my wife,if she talks with her brother...i dont like that......but i know that is not correct...how to overcome this problem

Answer 1

My husband is the same way, he always felt like I had a good relationship with my brother and felt threatened by him. It caused a lot of problems within our marriage. He has a chemical imbalance and suffers from depression and anxiety. He has to take medication for it because if he doesn't he is a totally different person, so I blame most of it on that. I would look into getting help for this problem because all it will do is put a lot of stress on your marriage and it may not be able to survive. Talk to your doctor or a therapist. Also be honest with your wife and communicate openly with her about it. Try to remain calm and tell her exactly how you feel. If you're honest with her and sincere about wanting to change then she will probably work with you and you two will become closer while working it out together instead of suffering alone. I hope it gets better.

Answer 2

You obviously already know that this is not reasonable. Are you and your wife getting to spend enough time together? If not, this might be one part of your problem. Many times, spouses become so involved in their own jobs, with their own friends, and with their kids that they rarely get to spend time with each other. This can sometimes cause resentment and you may be feeling jealous that any other man gets a portion of her already limited free time, even if this man is her brother. Talk to her, set up time to spend just you and her ... plan a date night every week. And work on taking advantage any time, no matter how small, that you are able to spend together.

If this isn't the case, and you two do get to spend plenty of time together, then maybe you might consider seeing a counselor. You might have some underlying issues that would make you jealous of the relationship that your wife has with her brother. If you don't work on this, its definitely going to cause problems in your marriage. Good luck.

Answer 3

What can you do to overcome jealousy?

1. Examining the triggers and the reasons.

Do you feel jealous toward any woman who approaches your partner or only a selected few? Does the feeling come when you think he is giving a lot of attention to someone?

Or do you get uptight over a casual greeting? Do you get upset even when he mentions someone who does not even warrant any feeling?

Your answers to the questions will provide you with the reasons. If it is unreasonable, then you need to work on you.

2. Improve your self-image.

How are you seeing yourself? Do you picture a person who is imperfect and unattractive? Do you see that other people are better looking than you?

That picture must change. If you do not love your body, who would?

With modern technology, fitness centers and Meaningful Beauty products available, you can change the way you look. A change in your wardrobe would help too.



But the most important thing to do is to change that image in your mind. Not the one you see in the mirror.

3. Building a high level of self-esteem.
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As long as you feel unworthy, inadequate and incomplete, you will continue to suffer from insecurity.

You must acknowledge your own self-worth and believe in your strengths and abilities.

You need to overcome your inferiority by challenging your past hurts, disappointments, and feeling of abandonment.

You can rebuild it one day at a time by taking one action and then another. Affirmation and visualization are tools you can use. Focusing on your goal and materializing it will give you the confidence and boost your esteem.

4. Educating and controlling your emotions.

First of all is your suspicion or jealousy justified? Give yourself time to really think through and assess carefully whether your partner really was unfaithful. If he is, you have to know how to approach the issue to avoid irrational confrontation.

It takes courage and calmness to control the anger and hurt that is building up within. You must not allow your emotions to rule and get out of hand or you will lose your sense of self.

Before you confront, take time to understand how you really feel and go through the motions of achieving calmness by going through a few breathing exercise. Act as though you are confident and in control of the situation.


"The more incomplete we feel, the more obsessed we become with owning someone on whom we've projected all our missing qualities, hence the more jealous we become." – Gloria Steinem

While you are involved in a relationship, enjoy and value it. There is a possibility that your partner is cheating on you. But what if he is as faithful as you are and want as much to see that the marriage works.

Refuse to allow your fears and insecurities to ruin it. When you have high regards on your own worth, you can handle the situation if it happens.

Answer 4

this is pretty unhealthy you are right. i think what you need is couples therapy. really bad. and just try to relax, and be rational. why is it that you feel this way? perhaps you are insecure. talk your feelings over with your wife

Answer 5

Lock her in a box until she learns to obey !