ok, i been married 3 yrs this june, we have a 2 yr old son together and we also have his son (7 yrs old,i raised him since he was 2)from his prev. marriage (my step son). for the last 6-7 months hubby does not spend anytime with me or our 2 yr old!when he is home, he is either on the playstation, dirtbike riding etc. i am a SAHM BUT i would like to sleep in everyonce in awhile also i only asked for that once a month, which he always tells me no, he is sleeping in! he sleeps in every mourning. he always shuts me out, i honestly do not know what to do! i have been thinking about divorce, BUT i dont have a job cuz he wants me to stay home to take care of the kids (which 1 of them is not mine). he only gives me so much money to spend on my self a month ($20). he has never been like that b4, if i tried talking to him, he blames everything on me! i am soo sick and tired of it, i dont know what to do! he is evening blaming his weight gain on me, which he neer eats at home!!!!
2007-01-15 14:04:46 · 17 answers · asked by jen 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I just want to thank you all that responded! i am going to follow some of them actually (counsiling etc). i needed to vent, thank you all for listening to me!
2007-01-15 16:25:30 · update #1
Before you decide to leave, get your finances in order. Find a part-time job and get your own credit card. You should do that anyway, if for no other reason than to always have an out. If he insists on you staying at home, then do a stay-at-home business to earn money (sell baby clothes, make jewelry, etc.)
You need couples counseling. Don't go at this alone. If your husband won't go, go by yourself. If you can't afford it, ask your pastor for help.
Good luck!
2007-01-15 14:17:42 · answer #1 · answered by mybabiesRcute 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honey I just got out of a relationship similar to this, it's hard and it hurts but you need to step back and consider if you feel this way, is there really enough love in your family for these children? Being a single mom is not the end of the world, in my case the father still sees my baby, but there is no way we will get back together. I can promise you this, it doesn't matter if he is a good father, or any kind of father at all...if he's not keeping you happy, the children see that. The emotional abuse that you endure everyday is endured by your children, it will have an effect on them whether you see it now or not. Abuse is abuse, and you don't deserve it.
2007-01-15 22:26:20 · answer #2 · answered by lil_momma_of_two 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The impression I've gotten is that he wasn't always like this, so there's probably something else going on. I would try some couples therapy (if you can get him to go with you--surely he's not happy with the situation either) before you consider a divorce. You may also want to consider giving him an ultimatum--straighten up or I take the kids and leave. That may make him realize that if he wants to keep his family, he's got to open up.
2007-01-15 22:16:14 · answer #3 · answered by spunk113 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is taking you for granted. Tell him that if he doesn't shape up, he can ship out. Be a strong woman! Don't let some man rule your life. Perhaps he will mend his ways and start being more considerate of you once he realizes you mean business. But, don't count on it. Get your ducks in a row to get on with life with just you and baby. That includes getting some control over the finances. Don't let him get the upper hand just because of money. As for 20 bucks a month goes.. .well, that is just ridiculous! He is using money to control you, don't you see? So far it has worked, apparently. Well, not anymore you say! Get in control of your life and stand up on you own two feet. I am not going to wish you luck, because all you need is strength of will. And you already have that.. you just have to use it.
2007-01-15 22:20:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
If possible find the root of what is causing him to act this way. If that isnt possible the bring up the issue of a marriage counsellor. And if all that fails, leave, A child deserves to have a happy home. 1 happy loving parent is better than 2 not so happy.
2007-01-15 22:13:43 · answer #5 · answered by fiestyroo 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Take your baby and leave...go to a family member or friend until you can find a job and file for child support and a divorce. Your husband is acting like an irresponsible child and it's not fair that you be saddled with his child from a previous relationship. It will only get worse if you stay
2007-01-15 22:38:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would stand up for myself and show him you are better then that and don't need this kind of treatment and if you are that important to him well then have him prove it and set up some counseling for the 2 of you cause he may have issues that he just can't talk to you about and sometimes yea it is easy to just get up and go but you have children it is worth the extra push to stay but also it's not good to stay together for the kids sake either there has to be something there between the 2 of you so good luck and hope all gets better
jhiggy
2007-01-15 22:21:00 · answer #7 · answered by jhiggy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know children who get bigger allowances than $20 a month. You are an adult who's living up to responsibilities. I agree that counseling is a good idea, but I have to admit that I'm not optimistic about the fate of your marriage. I'm very sorry. Wish we could help more.
2007-01-18 20:20:53 · answer #8 · answered by serenity_ii 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is using you and he is a lazy ahole.
Tell him you will not tolerate his behaviour anymore and to start acting like an adult and being an example to his two kids.
If he doesn't sort himself out explain you will be taking 2/3rds of his salary until the kids are 18 and see how he likes that.
2007-01-15 22:24:20 · answer #9 · answered by Kylie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My guess is he is up to no good. Never eats at home? Gives you less time and money? He is eating somewhere else, and spending his time and money on something or someone else. I know what my guess is here.
The response suggesting you get your finances in order is not a bad idea.
2007-01-15 23:05:09 · answer #10 · answered by sendmedaisies 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋