My fiance and I will be marrying in my home church (Baptist).What exactly is discussed/asked during premarital counseling (specifically for a Baptist Church)? How does this process generally work? I am worried about being asked too personal questions and even more worried that we won't be allowed to marry in my church since we do live together. How do i go about this? I guess i just need someone to tell me how it all works and if ill run into problems/being judged, etc. for our living arrangements. Any help would be greatly appreciated...no rude comments please. I just need to figure all this stuff out. Im a little worried about the whole process. thank you!
2007-01-15 13:48:27 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
My daughter had counseling with a Baptist minister.
He had problems as far as I'm concerned...and I'm Baptist! He was not the type you let it be known you live together. As with my daughter I wouldn't answer any personal questions you feel step beyond what needs to be known.
If he tries to discuss topics that he feels will affect a marriage and you don't want to. Listen and then tell him you and your fiance have discussed this very matter. You have reached an agreement which is acceptable to both of you. If he wants to know what it is.......don't tell him. Just tell him you think that is too personal to discuss with him, but your thinking is not too far from his. (a mile can be close in some cases....lol)
this minister's big topics were drinking, trust and fidelity. I guess all ministers have their pet reasons marriages fail.
Good luck!
2007-01-15 14:01:08 · answer #1 · answered by momwithabat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Premarital Counseling Questions
2016-10-07 02:57:06 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-20 19:39:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I were married in a Baptist Church, and went through the premarital counseling. Basically, the counseling is pretty simple. The questions usually relate to how long you have known each other, how you feel about having children... nothing too serious. My husband and I also lived together prior to marriage and it was not a problem. I think that it depends on how conservative your church is as to whether this will be a problem. If I were you, I would talk to your minister about your concerns prior to the counseling. This should do a lot to calm your nerves about this.
2007-01-19 08:33:00 · answer #4 · answered by Stephanie B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Premarital Questions
2016-12-10 14:18:05 · answer #5 · answered by lirette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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I suspect that the Southern Baptist will expect a commitment to Christ and involvement in a church. They are strong believers in a marriage being bound within a Christian lifestyle. Within many churches including my own, we require premarital counseling courses prior to marriage. While you need not be a member, the courses can take several weeks. So you will want to talk to the pastor early and find out what requirements he/she has for conducting a wedding within their church. Depending on the location in which you live, you may also need to get early on the calendar to secure the date for which you are looking. I would suggest that you give the pastor a call tomorrow. He/she can best answer your specific questions. Pastor John
2016-04-06 10:26:15 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both my husband and I belong to a Baptist church and my father and brother are both Baptist ministers. Each church conducts premarital counseling differently. The best thing to do is sit down with your premarital counselor to discuss what is involved. In some churches, the pastor or minister who will be conducting the ceremony conducts the counseling. Other churches have other trained members of the church conduct counseling. The number of sessions can range from 1-3 or 5-7 or more, depending on the church. The entire purpose of premarital counseling is for the two of you to discuss your expectations of each other in preparation for marriage so be prepared for personal questions including your living arrangements, views on sexuality, views on child rearing, views on the role of a husband and wife, etc. My husband and I lived together prior to our wedding for financial reasons and we were still allowed to marry. In my opinion, if a minister or church chooses not to perform your ceremony because of your living arrangements then that is not the best suited church for you to have your marriage ceremony... after all they should be pleased that you plan to marry instead of continuing to cohabitate.
2007-01-15 16:11:13 · answer #7 · answered by Veronica W 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm sure there are guidelines but most times it can vary from minister to minister.
He may have a few words to you about living together already. He may suggest that you abstain from sex 'til you're married, as they are strict.
I personally don't have a problem with it once you're betrothed. That's a promise made. You're just now waiting for the legalities.
The pastor will ask you questions about your spirituality.
He will ask you questions like who will do the bulk of the housework; take care of the checkbook?
How often will you invite friends to your house?
How will you dicipline your children? If you disagree, how will you decide what to do?
The questions aren't hard, he will want to see how you are together; see your strengths & weaknesses. So don't go getting worried.
If he does tell you he won't marry you, (which I seriously doubt) there are other christian ministers that can & will marry you. If you need any help, let me know.
2007-01-15 14:06:03 · answer #8 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on church to church and pastor to pastor. We did ours with our (Southern) Baptist pastor (who we flew up for our wedding) and there were no in depth physical questions asked. We focused a lot more on the emotional and spiritual issues that are involved in marriage. We read a few books (5 Love Languages and He Said, She Said) and discussed how we agreed and disagreed with the authors of the books. It was pretty laid back and really comfortable.
2007-01-16 04:03:11 · answer #9 · answered by hotdoggiegirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-01-12 04:41:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋