He is wonderful, but just not for me...he has been a great friend for several years but has liked me more than friends for a while.....I think that he thinks that I have liked him too for the past few months so it is time that I tell him, but how can I do it nicely....I cant stand to think I will hurt him. I need your helP! (we are 20 and 21)
2007-01-15 13:42:36 · 19 answers · asked by Lindsay H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You probably will hurt him. Nothing you can do about that. This is easier said than done, but tell him he's a nice guy and you cherish the friendship more than a relationship. Tell him that if you were to date and things went south you'd loose him forever, and you'd rather have him as a friend forever than a lover for only a short time.
He won't like it and probably won't understand, but atleast it's the truth.
2007-01-15 13:49:28 · answer #1 · answered by Jim C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
since u seem to care about his feelings i can help some what.
let him know that offering ones love is the greatest gift anyone could give. unfortunately u don't feel the same, but u value him tremendously as a friend and would never want to hurt him.
remember he will be hurt, and thats ok. its one of those things we all have to deal with in life. but u can make it less painfull.
its good to know there r women that care about not hurting guys. i know some deserve it, but u can tell the difference.
2007-01-15 22:00:33 · answer #2 · answered by jesse james 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way you can explain it to him is to understand for yourself why you're not attracted to him or more receptive to a deeper relationship with him. What is it about him that attracts you as a "friend," but is disagreeable to you as a "boyfriend?"
What qualities is he lacking to "make the cut" as a boyfriend?
Once you find a level of understanding within yourself, you must be open and honest with this guy. The worst thing you could do is deceive him or lead him on.
If push comes to shove, hook him up with one of your friends. That will leave little doubt in his mind as to where you stand.
2007-01-15 21:53:25 · answer #3 · answered by mrvid2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its tough if you dont have a good excuse(your married or im married).So i guess you are going to have to let him down.Some times telling a guy the truth is the best thing you can do for the both of you.It may take years,but time moves fast.
2007-01-15 21:53:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you're sorry, but you're really busy in your life right now and just don't have the time to commit to a relationship. Make sure that he thinks it is all about you, and commitments that you can't make if you add a relationship. Just let him know that this is a horrible horrible time and you're too busy to even date anyone.
2007-01-15 21:55:51 · answer #5 · answered by kiddo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Yes this is Awkard and uncomfortable for all. Somehow guys just the idea afterawhile. In my experience these guys either become your best friends for life and/or your significant others for life.
I gave my fiancee that "we're just friends, ya know" biz for years. then i started dating him.
Let him down easy.
2007-01-15 21:54:51 · answer #6 · answered by horticulture_girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry hon but there isn't a nice way to let him down. he is gonna be devastated anyway you put it,so just tell him the truth, how you really feel about him.he deserve that much.
2007-01-15 21:48:38 · answer #7 · answered by Krishy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a hard one.
No guy wants to hear that his dream girl "just wants to be friends."
You tell him that he is wonderful,a really nice guy and a great friend.
You say it breaks your heart to have to tell him this and telling him is one of the hardest things you've ever had to do.
You say I'm really sorry thatr my feeling for you is not as mutual as your feelings for me.
thats it.
Its going to hurt.
love and friendship does hurt sometimes,thats just life.
2007-01-15 21:51:17 · answer #8 · answered by Mark K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him u love him but its purely as friends and u cant ever imagine urself being with him beyond that and its better this way rahter than u cheat on him later on when u found someone u like.
2007-01-15 21:47:36 · answer #9 · answered by aishah 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bad news dear, its going to hurt his feelings.
Worse news, the longer you delay, the bigger his hurt is going to be.
Just be sensitive and you should be o.k. Most guys are pretty reilient.
2007-01-15 21:46:46 · answer #10 · answered by Engineer Guy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋