Raising a baby with no family around!?

Question

I grew up with a ton of family around. Now, I live far from my family and we dont see them that often. My husband keeps saying that it's okay our boy will grow up just fine. However, it really bothers me that his grandparents, unlces & aunts are all so far away. My husband is a Dr and his practices keep us here, but I feel like we need to move closer to family. Maybe this urge will go away but right now it's eating me up! Anyone else raising a family without your extended family near by???

Answer 1

Hello ... I am a Long Term Single Parent, and was on Active Duty at the time I had my own children (short disaster of a marriage, and I buried my parents as a very young adult ... so most of my own relatives were deceased).

I know what it is like raising a child, not just as a Single Parent ... as a Military Servicemember Single Parent, and as someone with NO one EXCEPT my two siblings (who also were in the Military Service) and my ex's family (who never accepted me and protected that abusive, violent ex, including funding his habits).

Needless to say, I did raise BOTH my children FAR AWAY from where I was born, but that was OK by me. When you REACH OUT to others, form new friendships, having others around you that also have small children/babies, THEN the real fun begins!

Instead of focusing on the distance ... there is always the here and now .. and with digital cameras, e-mails, cell phones, and all other sorts of communication (which was NOT there when I was deployed!), you have a WORLD of ways of staying in touch.

So go out, FIND and get involved in YOUR "New" family -- the neighborhood, the clubs that you belong to -- any other parent that shares the same activities as your children/yourself ... and you will find that this is a good way to remain optomistic and happy.

Answer 2

I got transferred to a major city 300 miles from our hometown, on the day our daughter was born. Need to say that I almost got divoirced in the hospital that night. Well we made the move with our 3 year old son. We made numerous trips back to visit family and friends throughout the years. Our children grew, received good eduction, both entered Big 10 Colleges and then (20 years later) WE moved back to our hometown. The kids graduated and came back later.
It works, my wife supported my move, we made many new friends while we lived out of town and remain friends with them today. Our kids now have friends in numerous states.
The first year was the most difficult for my wife and 3 year old. The baby did not know any different.
Now we return to our out-of-state city, visit, shop and remember the good ol' days.

Answer 3

I really understand. My husband is military, so for the past 6 years, I have not lived near my family. (just for 1 year when he was deployed overseas.) It's harder when kids come into the picture in my opinion! I have a 4 yr old and 9 month old.

We send pictures all the time, I talk to them about their relatives, I show them pictures of everyone. My parents send videos talking to the kids. We try to visit when we can. I really want to move closer to family, but we go where the military sends us :(

Answer 4

I have 2 boys with my husband, and we are also raising his daughter from another marriage. My family lives over 2000 miles away...gotta love the military LOL.
I do feel badly that my boys don't have the relationship with their cousins and grandparents that I had....and that hubby had for that matter.
I encourage my 4 year old to draw pictures for the family. Even my 1 year old scribbles for them. There's also the phone...both of them love talking to grandma and grandpa.

It's hard to be separated from your family, but I think your son will be fine....I know mine are.

Answer 5

I think that family is what you make of it. You can still take trips with your son to go and visit your family. I loved that growing up. Being able to go to different parts of the United States and learn about that area is amazing to kids. We are all under one big sky and see the same stars...it's so amazing! You could really make this a good thing for you all.

Answer 6

yeah i raised my two sons by myself. they are sweet, charming,
kind and very smart and they get along so well! I told them about their extended family thru pictures and phone calls and letters.
they are now 11 and 13 yrs and my family and friends and teachers all think they are the nicest kids theyve ever met.
Their father was rarely around cuz of his job so I think I did a good job so far raising them myself. Im very proud. Teach them everything you know, keep yourself and them occupied and set a good foundation they can always fall back to in life. peace.

Answer 7

With him being a Dr, he cannot just take off at the giving moment, perhapes he would let u go visit your family for a month or even a few weeks.

Answer 8

Just because your child does not see your family everyday does not mean that he will not know them and their love. Make the most of your family by visiting and inviting them to visit you. Children get so excited when they get to go to grandma's. Also, when your child is a bit older, around 8, consider sending him to visit your family by himself for a week or two in the summer. I loved doing that when I was a kid.

Answer 9

I raised my son who is now 14 away from my family because of husbands work. It was lonely. Its a big adjustment being away from people you love. If he can't get work closer, than you'll have to learn to live without them. maybe you can take monthly visits to see them.

Answer 10

I am raising my girls without having family around. What I recommend is for you to join groups for new moms, or moms-day-out, or baby cpr, or any local classes or groups where you'll meet other new moms. Because I didn't have family around, my friends became my extended family. Work on building friendships with other moms.