I cant do this anymore. I am the one who is gay. My Church has a program to help you change your ways but...?

Question

it is really hard. I don't want to be gay. I want and need a serious relationship WITH GOD. I have heard of people being gay but still going or following God. How do I do this? I am not about to go to any of these anti gay classes it would be real imbarrissing. I don't think I have what it takes to confide in her. So now I am asking you. What should I do?

Answer 1

Go to this website. They have resources and can help you find something in your area.

http://www.exodus-international.org

God does love gays. He loves all of His creation. But He also loves us enough not to leave us in our sinful condition. He calls us to repent. Regardless of the sin. Including homosexuality.

UPDATE: I am amazed at all the people who encourage you to stay gay. You said that you "can't do this anymore" and they're telling you that you can't change! Amazing!

We live in a fallen world. God didn't make you gay, no matter what anyone tells you. You may have been predisposed toward homosexual feelings, but you never have to act on them, anymore than a kleptomaniac has to act on their impulses.

I encourage you to check out the ministries that assist thousands like you to leave the gay lifestyle. It is only through the healing by Jesus Christ that you can truly be free. You do not have to stay the way you are now. All Christians have been delivered from their sins. You can too.

Answer 2

"I want and need a serious relationship WITH GOD." is exactly what you should do. You can't serve two masters. You will either hate the one and despise the other. You can't "do this". You can make any claims you like but it won't substitute for a real life-changing "serious relationship WITH GOD." It will be much more embarrassing to meet God at judgment when all those things done in secret are brought to light if your sins have not gone before you to judgment by being brought into the captivity of Jesus Christ and covered by His blood. That's the only way to be free from bondage and to have a real relationship with God through Jesus Christ. Whom the Son sets free is free indeed. Only then can one hold their head up as a true child of the King obedient to the Word of God and not an evil-doer who will have no part in the kingdom of heaven. You must be born again of the spirit.

Answer 3

Hmmm...you're begging only leads me to believe that you have your doubts.

Well I can tell you right now, those doubts are there for a good reason.
You can't be cured from something that isn't wrong! You don't "choose" your sexual orientation anymore than you do what hand you're more inclined to use.
You can TRY to live a "straight" life, but you know deep down that it's all a lie and eventually you won't be able to contain that lie any longer and probably at that point you'll be married and have kids...and what will happen?
You'll destroy your marriage and make your kids feel as if you've lied to them all their lives.

You'll have decieved your husband, your children and worst of all....yourself!

GET SOME REAL THERAPY FROM A BOARD CERTIFIED AND FULLY ACCREDITED THERAPIST! Not some "ex-gay" ministry...those groups are simply DANGEROUS!

The APA (American Psychological Association) has issued a blanket statement warning about such groups as they do nothing but harm and even INCREASE already staggering SUICIDE numbers in confused gays/lesbians!

Is that what you want your fate to be?
A lie?
Depression?
Suicidal tendencies?

GET REAL HELP FROM A REAL THERAPIST!!

NOW!!

Answer 4

I think this is where most people like me, who are not part of the Christian Faith, get mad at the church. There is strong evidence that being gay is hormonal and genetic. Look, to me, if god did make everything, then he made genetics and hormones too and made you the way you are. If you are gay there is nothing wrong with that. I know, I know, the Bible says it's an abomonation. The Old Testament says that, you know back when they were trying to get Jewish low numbers up. Also, they were ignorant of a lot of things back then. Look, you don't need somebody telling you you are a bad person, that is not going to bring you closer to god, it's going to push you away. You need to either find a church, any church that accepts gays, or find a way to worship and have a relationship with god on your own terms, not theirs. That's what personal relationship is, personal, only you and god and that means the two of you will make up the terms, not anybody else.

Answer 5

First off, don't check out "Love Won Out," because it's unhealthy.

You can be gay and have a close relationship with God. God doesn't turn away ANYONE, it is his followers that have done that and said that you must be a certain way.

"Love Won Out also faced a scandal after the program's director, John Paulk, was found lounging in a Washington, DC gay bar. Conveniently, this important fact is omitted from Paulk's biography that is currently being used to promote the upcoming Kansas City conference."

Answer 6

You don't have to go to anti gay classes. I know three gay people who follow the Lord and are celibate, but they are still the same people and didn't take any anti gay training. They have a very serious relationship with God. Maybe try to find a few christians you can begin to get to know and study with. talk to God, He will lead you. God bless you.

Answer 7

My dear -

You are what you are. Most people are born straight; some gay. It's got everything to do with the way the brain is wired, and nothing to do with "sin" (nobody gets hurt by it - that's the difference).

Religion is all make-believe. We tolerate it - but not when it is about to shatter a life like it's going to do to you. Your church basically wants you to spend the rest of your life pretending you're attracted to men, and even to marry one.

Please, please, don't let them do this to you. In a sense you would be killing the person you are right now; at best you'd be living a lie for the rest of your life.

They have no right or reason to try to change you.

Please email or IM me - I know you got a lot of replies, but I really feel we need to talk. I just can't let you do this.

Be happy. Be strong. Be yourself.

Answer 8

You are what you are. There are allot of different explanations for why you are that way. But I can say from experience people are gay from birth. Can you change?? I have seen homosexual people marry someone of the opposite sex and live an unhappy life. If your church does not accept you for what and who you are then you do not need to be there.
You are not a bad person, you are not evil and you are not going to hell. It sounds like your relationship with god is being hampered by people who do not want you to be the way you are. I am not sure what church you go to but Episcopalians seem to be pretty accepting.

Answer 9

It specifically says in the bible that you cannot go to heaven and be gay. It plainly states that being gay is an abomination to God. It also says that people will look for the "easy" way out. Well let me tell you, the road to hell is wide and the gates are flung open to welcome you. In no way is it "easy" either, why do you think you are so unhappy now and in search of an answer? You are going against your grain, the way God made us to be. He created Adam and Eve, not adam and steve and madam and eve. God did not intend us to be gay or he wouldn't have spoken out against it so vehemently in the bible, or made us ONLY man and woman.


1 Corinthians 6:9

Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived! The sexually immoral, idolaters, adulterers, passive homosexual partners, 1 practicing homosexuals, 2

1 Timothy 1:8-10

1:8 But we know that the law is good if someone uses it legitimately, 1:9 realizing that law 11 is not intended for a righteous person, but for lawless and rebellious people, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers, 1:10 sexually immoral people, practicing homosexuals, 12 kidnappers, liars, perjurers – in fact, for any who live contrary to sound teaching.

Answer 10

Ask yourself if you chose to be gay or if you were made that way. Undoubtedly, you would say you were made that way. Now ask yourself how you got to be that way. Did God do it? If not, then whom? Suppose you conclude that only God could have made you that way. Now you have a paradox. If you listen to the religious people, who would be quoting the bible, they'll tell you it's a sin to be gay. But then how could God have made you that way if it's a sin? The only conclusion would be that it isn't a sin to be the way God made you. So now what do we do about what it says in the bible? Why we ignore it, of course. Who wrote the bible? Let me give you a clue. Men wrote the bible. Religious people will tell you it was written by God through men (divinely inspired). But if you know that God made you the way you are and that since God made you that way it cannot be a sin, then you have to conclude that the Bible is wrong and that the people who wrote it were not divinely inspired, but were inspired by their own phobias. You have to learn to be yourself. Good luck.

Answer 11

If you wish to follow a god. then your vision of that god should be of a perfect being correct?

so if it is perfect, and it created you then it created you perfect.
it would be impossible for a perfect being to creat a flawed creation right?

remember. Jesus was supposedly the voice of god. can you show me a passage where Jesus spoke against Homosexuals?
jesus taught equal treatment of everybody. so be gay, enjoy and remember that MEN wrote the bible not God. and the chance that some of thoes men were extreme Homophobes and xenophobes is very high.

find your own connection with god, and dump that church. they are not interrested in your spiritual growth. they are just interrested in your money and being able to say that they turned another "gay" to their way. even if you go to the so called classes to be "cured" take a look at how the other people that have been to them are treated by the rest of the members. listen to how people talk about them behind their backs, and then decide if this is how you worship god?