Very serious family problem (help needed)?

Question

My best friend is having trouble with her family.
She lives with her mother and three half siblings ages 11, 9, and 6. She is 14.

She is constantly being beaten up by her 11 year old brother. Not in the normal ways. He usually smacks her with books, punches her in the breasts, verbally abuses her, and now hits her on the head with Swiffer mops. Sometimes, when he is really angry, he will brandish a knife, but he puts it away when my friend threatens to call the police.

He gets angry over the smallest things- for example, my friend was on the computer and he demanded that it was his turn. When she said no, he smacked her with a book until she cried. Whenever my friend talks to her mom about this horrible problem, her mom tells her to fight her own battles.

Any advice for her? She sitting next to me and really wants advice. She hates being home with these people. Her other siblings are amazing, but her 11 year old brother makes her home life hell.

Answer 1

Your friend will be in my prayers. I am no expert, but I am a mother. It sounds to me that her brother is acting out for attention. He could be jealous of his older sister or simply crying out for her attention. I have three kids 1, 5, and 7. And if one of them is feeling neglected by someone they will try to get attention anyway they can. And usually acting out is the way they try to get it. Your friend should try to be patient with her brother and maybe try to spend one on one time with him. Show him that she loves and cares about him. In a child, a little affection goes a long way. If the problem continues and her mother still does not do anything about it. Your friend should contact another adult outside of the family. Maybe someone at school, teacher, principle. The problem could be that he may need professional help. She needs to keep her head up. Tell herself, that it will not always be this way. It will get better. And tell her that there is someone praying for her and her family.

Answer 2

I am so sorry to hear this. I really feel for you even though I do not know you. I would call the Police in your area or go there in person and explain the situation and see if they can help in anyway. He seriously needs help. Explain the penis thing that should get the police's attention. If that does not work, try and see if you can go to a priest or a minister and talk or talk to someone in authority at your school such as the principal. You need adult help. I wish I could help you. All you can do is seek outside help where they are unbiased (not taking sides) so I hope someone can help you. Good Luck use all of these if you need to. You need help for yourself as this is destroying your life as well and you don't want to destroy the nice person you are. Your parents need a wake up call big time and need to put this boy in juvenille hall or something. He needs to get straightened up before he ends up in a worse situation and your Dad needs help as well. Good Luck and God Bless you. I hope you get or find the help you need. This is serious, so do not ignore it.

Answer 3

If her mom wants her to fight her own battles she might just not fight fair. She should consider calling the police or talking to the school counselor. Another thing she could do is do something that would hurt him but not damage him, in other words don't hit him over the head with a baseball bat because that would be dangerous.... but what my sister did to me to make sure she was the boss is pinch the crap out of the under side of my upper arm, anyway her mother should get involved but if she wont the sister needs to take care of herself... What would she do to a girl bully at school to make her leave her alone. Try it on the brother, because the brother sounds like a bully to me, and the mother seems to be obsessed with herself...
Good luck with this...

Answer 4

If you call social services you will be split up and taken away from your mom. You will be put with foster families. You should tell her to take matters into her own hands. If she isn't getting the support she needs from her mom talk to a counselor at school and see what she suggests for her to do. It's not fair that her brother is doing this to her but by her doing something back that doesn't make it right either. I would talk to her dad or grandparents or someone close to her that will listen to her. She needs to let her brother know she isn't going to be his victim any longer.

Answer 5

If her mother won't help her,tell her to talk to someone else, maybe a school counselor. This boy needs to stop or he will hurt someone really bad. Your friend shouldn't have to put up with his abuse. He's 11 now. What's he going to be in 10 years? He's going to be 21 and in prison if he doesn't get help soon. If nothing else works, call the police!!

Answer 6

She needs to go first to her school counselor, a trusted teacher, or the minister. What he is doing is abuse. Child abuse.
If these measures don't get results, call the department of child protective services/ department of human services or any abuse hotline (usually in the front of any phone book).
If this isn't taken care of now, think what it will be like for the younger ones once she's older and out on her own.

Answer 7

She could go talk to her councelors at school, get intervention. No one should have to be physically abused .. by a family member, or anyone else, for that matter. Is her mother aware that the abuse is taking place? If not, she needs to be made aware. Retaliating and beating him up, won't solve anything. She'll only become guilty of what he is doing, and she's right there with him, abuse wise. Get help from mom, and if mom won't help, get outside help.

Answer 8

well she did the right thing by going to her mother about this. it just a shame mom didnt do more about the situation. talk to a counselor at school or a teacher about this problem. they can better intervene and go to the next level. if you dont trust that. then shes gonna have to start callin the police on him. that should definetly get moms attention and your brother. if all else fails. you need to kick his but back. dont be afraid cause thats only fueling his attacks.

Answer 9

I think there's no help for u from your home.. don wait... and its no point fighting back.. u bro needs something more than bashing.. if u wan him to be a gentleman in future... Call the Social Services.. its veri clear, ur bro have taken advantage of u... if u gona endure this more... who know.. he might do something veri cruel and simply put the blame on u... u don deserve this.. Explain ur sitituation to the Social Services... u do the talking... if possible, bring ur frend along to visit them in person..
**i am veri proud of ur frend for having this much of concern on u...
Take care... don wait..

Answer 10

Tell your mom if its ok with her or a person you trust and ask them to help you. Eventually someone will help. Offer to her to sleep over whenever she really needs it. Best bet is tell a parent or person you both can trust. If he really starts to abuse her ALOT then if you have to call 911. Talk to him calmly if he can stop and listen. Do something fun if its possible with him. If he starts to hurt her then try and get away or stop and walk away, give him something individually fun to do by himself and then go to your house or go somewhere where he can't hurt her.