Am I being mean to my kid right now?

Question

Last night she toasted 2 ego waffles with butter and syrup adn didn't eat it. She ate some of my food instead. (bed time snack). I told her to eat it or it was her breakfast... all soggy. She opted to go to school with no breakfast (even though I took it out of the fridge, cut it up and heated it for her). She ate her school lunch at school and came home and wouldn't eat it for supper. I had a great supper and she had nothing. Well, I don't want her only eating school lunches.. so I told her to eat it, or that would be her school lunch. So she took it out of the fridge and had a bite and now is crying up a storm. She hates me and I am mean... (she is at a 2 for name calling, one more and she gets a time out). She is bawling her eyes out for along time now. it was so loud I sent her to her room to cry...

I think she should eat it and so she stops throwing food out and wasting my money. Am I being mean?

she is 7 and in grade two

I don't want her to think that she can make food and then just throw it out, she already does this if her toast is too dark or she took to much, etc.. this time she made 2 perfectly good waffels and wanted to throw them out

Answer 1

I wish I had your back bone. I truly believe in what you are doing and no you aren't being to mean but i do think that if she decides that she isn't going to eat them tonight that should be the end of the waffle thing. I am encountering a problem with my three year old. And my brother told me she isn't going to starve if she gets hungry enough she will decide to eat it. So keep up the good work.

Answer 2

No You are not being mean, I think u should get an explanation from her as to why she made waffles & then chose not to eat them.No short answers accepted!! give her time to go to her room & think of a GOOD reason why. Our parents lived Through the great depression and food ~was~ scarce! Sometimes a family had 1 loaf of bread for a whole week. Two waffles butter & syrup would have been alot & alot on a budget. Today that is a few pennys.But I do belive in teaching not to waste,our society does do alot of wasting so much that we have green peace & recycle efforts to conserve the earth. TO sum this up you r between a rock & a HARDPLACE???

Answer 3

I think you've made your point. Don't let this turn into a power struggle. Let her go to bed without supper and start fresh in the morning. Next time, give her a choice--she can finish most of the food the first time or she could do chores to pay for what the food costs. Ask her how much she thinks the food cost and how much each chore is worth. Come to an agreement and leave it at that. If she doesn't eat, then the chores are her payment. If she doesn't do the chores, the cost comes out of her allowance or she doesn't get whatever treat she was destined to get next. Remind her that she made a choice and you're just following through.

Answer 4

I think you should just make this a teachable moment. Obviously shes not going to eat those waffles now. Once she calmes down you should try to explain to her how food costs money. This might work but chances are it wont. Move on with your life but warn her that if it happens again, you will make her eat whatever she wasted. I do agree with the others, kids will waste food and if I were you, I wouldnt get particularly upset unless it was a huge meal. Also, supervise the portions that she takes. Make sure that shes only making 1 waffle instead of 2 or only having a little bit of cereal instead of a full bowl. This will help with the problem.

Answer 5

My theory is that you have to pick your battles with your kids, but if you've drawn a line then you have to stand by it. You can decide for yourself if you're happy with how you handled this and if you'd do the same thing in future situations. But on this one, you've given her a bit of an ultimatum and you should follow through. Otherwise the lesson she'll learn is that if she's stubborn enough you'll give in, or if she cries loud enough she'll get her way. And no child ever starved from missing a meal.

To be honest, I wouldn't have let her leave the table until the food was eaten, and I wouldn't have re-heated it. And she wouldn't have been allowed to eat any of "my" food until her own food was finished. I also make my children eat their crusts, and if they don't finish one meal they get nothing until the next meal no matter how much they complain. I seem to be a bit 'old school' these days, but that's the way it works in my house.

Answer 6

Absolutely you are not being mean, you are just trying to educate your child, remember we have to put rules and limitations, also rewards and punishments. My mother was very strick with us she always made a list for us on what to do every day, and if we accomplish that we had some sort of reward. With the food I remember once I didn't want to eat my food, and I left to school leaving the complete food on the table thinking that when I came back my mom has forgotten what I did, but what was my surprise that when I came back from school starving, I saw the most delisous food on the table, with cake ice cream etc.. guess what? my mom and the whole family sat to eat all this gourmet food, and when I was about to have some..... my mom brought the food I left in the morning and told me after I finish then I can eat the rest of the food that was in the table...That was a big lesson for me that I never ever did such a thing anymore. Now I apply the same things to my chid, it really works!!

Answer 7

This is difficult situation. She certainly has a strong personality to deal with!

I don't like getting into the food wars with kids, because its one parents can not really win. You can't force them to eat something they don't want so in their own way, they "won". The bigger deal you make out of her not eating something, the more she will not eat it. The line was drawn in the sand the minute you told her she wasn't going to get any breakfast until she ate it. Let's be honest - the 2 eggo waffles she wasted cost you, what, $1? This isn't about money.

Answer 8

I don't think you are being mean, but I don't think your plan is working. My six year old throws tantrums like that all the time and tells me she hates me and such. That is part of the age. Don't let her have any more waffles from the box and explain why it isn't right to waste food. Now that it has been a day, you gotta feed the girl. If she hasn't eaten, she may have low blood sugar which will cause her to be more emotional and irrational. That wont help in teaching her your lesson. Good luck!!

Answer 9

Mean? No, but your logic doesn't work w/a 7 year old's brain. She sees no relation between not wanting to eat the food and it costing you money. Most kids that age have no grasp of money concepts other than the fact that things cost money. They do not understand the value of money or how much goes in to earning it.

What should you do? Make her aware that she is cooking food and not eating it. Don't let her eat after dinner has been served and finished. if she chooses not to eat dinner, just drop the subject, but do not allow an after dinner bedtime snack. She IS old enough to understand she eats at mealtime.

Answer 10

I think it's a little on the "strict" side. Have you talked about this with your daughter before and let her know how she shouldn't waste food? If so, then I think she should get in trouble for what she did (not try and make her eat the soggy waffles though :) ).