Somebody PLEASE help!!!...?

Question

Can somebody please I am at my wits end I have a 7 and a 5 year old daughter and all day long it is a constant game of tattle tale and when I speak its as if they have all of the sudden lost hearing everyone tells me that kids will be kids but it has to end somewhere there has to be limits. I am not into beating my children but I have given them swats on the butt, but when I turn around or leave the room they are at it again!!!!!!! Somebody please help me!!!!!

thank you to the ones that have given their suggestions so far but i would like to add that tattle taling is not allowed in our house either but they constantly try to do it anyways my oldest daughter has also just stadted this one: if i say ok or enough or what ever need be to finish the conversation she will still continue to speak as if she never heard me end it and it drives me crazy!!!1

Answer 1

We do not allow tattle taleing at our house.
When the little one comes up to us, we say "is someone bleeding or hurt? No? Then if you don't like what they are doing, leave".

Answer 2

I always separated my girls whenever they did this. The only rule was they had to hug and apologize to each other before the solitary confinement ended. No punishment for either, just separating seemed to work best. Kids hate to be alone for long, even if it means apologizing to their pain in the butt sister ( : .... This stops ALL arguments, and deters the tattling. My kids are 9 and 13 now, and almost NEVER tattle to me .... but my wife still has problems with it....she could never just ignore the tattler, and separate the kids.

Its not an easy thing to keep your temper, but spankings, and yelling wont do a thing either, except maybe make you feel a little better .

Hope it helps. Good luck.

Answer 3

The tattle telling and fighting is just sibling rivalry. It is a way of them trying to win your affection. Get both of them together, pull them up close to you, and tell them both that you love them both just the same and that they should only tell on the other if they are doing something dangerous. If they aren't paying attention to you, walk over to them, get ahold of them, make them look you in the eyes, and speak very clearly as to what you want. If the telling continues, start pretending like you don't care and say, "So?" Once they think that the tattle tales no longer will get the other in trouble, they will stop it.

Answer 4

My girls are 8 & 5, and I go through the same thing day after day. The first answer is great. At our kids school they have a thing called "Project Respect" and it teaches kids respect. Well last weeks deciding when to tell. The guidlines was is someone hurt, or is something being broken, if not then its tattle taling.

Answer 5

http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/parenting/pa0088.html

Probably the simplest way to silence tattling is to ignore it. Set up a house rule: Tattled words are unheard words. If you didn't see what happened, or if you have no solid evidence of misconduct, you will not act. Obviously, if you spy Rufus hanging upside down from the spouting or Harry shows you his bald spot where Cutler snipped a chunk of his hair while he was sleeping, you may want to investigate further. But, on the whole, the stuff of day-to-day tattling is highly ignorable, however highly irritating. Then, too, if you try to ferret out the degree of truth of every tattle, you risk opening a can of worms, filled with tattles and counter-tattles, but short on facts.

To quiet an inveterate tattler, one whose main aim seems to be to shadow his siblings and make their lives miserable by reporting to you in graphic detail every misstep, you might consider a more active approach. "Ripley, whenever you tattle on Angel, whatever happens to her will happen to you." For instance, if Angel has to sit inside for fifteen minutes because, according to Ripley, she flung the kickball over the house again after being tagged out, Ripley too will cool down for fifteen minutes inside. Essentially, his tattling is being directly disciplined because its sole intent is to make life difficult for his sister, not to guide you in her upbringing.

With either method, must you worry that you're teaching your kids never to monitor each other's behavior and never to act responsibly if the situation calls for it? Absolutely not. Tattling is a far cry from genuine sibling concern. Tattling is endlessly bringing to your attention minor scrapes and childish conduct that you'd be better off just overlooking. A chronic tattler knows, or will quickly learn, what you'll attend to and what you won't.

There's a bright side to tattling. It should leave no doubt in your mind that your kids know exactly what you expect. Even while Polly is tattling, she is also telling you loud and clear that she knows what is right and what is wrong, what is allowed and what isn't.

Answer 6

Okay.. you need some serious behavior modification in your house. Yours and theirs. First of all.. sit them down TV off and explaint ot hem that this business of constantly tattling is not going to be tolerated. Tell them in no uncertain terms that unless someone is hurt or bleeding that you will not hear it and that they must learn to solve their own problems. Set a natural consequnce for when the tattle outside of your gudielines.. like if you tattle then I will simply ignore you and you will go to your room for 10 minutes. Then EVERY time they tattle and no one is hurt or bleeding.. pose the question very calmly.. "are you hurt? Is your brother/sister hurt?, Are you bleeding? When the answer is No or No but.. remind them of the rules and put them in theri room to pay the consequence. DO NOT listen to the no but... do not speak back to them.. do not respond in anyway except to remove them to theri room.. they will change their behavior pretty quickly

Answer 7

If both are continuing to do this KNOWING that it is a house rule, then you and your husband need to order a family meeting and let them know that this is not going to continue. Make them aware that if they do it again, there will be consequences. Both you and your husband must follow through and stand your ground with them. If you are the parent that is primarily with them most of the time, then it is most important that you stick to your guns. Otherwise, it will get worse. I know that it is so hard to do that sometimes but perhaps the problem is that both your children need more one on one time with you and their reasons for being aggressive to the other and telling on each other is because they simply want to feel that they are important to you. Never listen to one's story about the other. When she starts to tattle, redirect her to a task to keep her busy. But the most important thing is not to generate negative energy when this begins because it is fueling the behavior further. When your daughter continues to talk over you, you should take immediate action to stop that behavior as she is not the authority here. Hitting or using physical force is not necessary unless a child does something REALLY bad. I think the best way to stop this behavior in its tracks, is to say in a firm voice "Do not interrupt me young lady. The topic is closed." If she continues to do it then threaten to take away something she loves. Best of luck.

Answer 8

In the case of our 4 & 11 yrs old, I ask the 4 yr old if he needs a 'tail'...I made one from some stuff around the house...if he doesn't want to wear it, he stops tattling...

Answer 9

You must be the person of authority. It isn't easy controlling young people. Just ask a school teacher. If your children misbehave then you can with hold something they enjoy. It is a constant challenge but if you are consistent it becomes easier. Everyone has a way that works for them. Remember you're not their buddy. You are the boss.

Answer 10

when u see it again give them a smack on the butt again and seperate them 2 different rooms and n a corner no tv no music, toys NOTHING and once u and they have calmed down bring one out at a time and chat with her about it tell them its not on etc etc and keep doing it until they get the point for a little longer each time that should work if not maybe ground them for the day just lying on there beds and stuff no playing or anything good luck sounds frustrating