My girlfriend is very straight. She was raised religiously and has had a boyfriend for about 2 years now. The other day she came up to me and told me that she had a sexual attraction to one of our friends who is a girl who is bi. She's extremely upset and says she's never liked other girls that this is the first time it's happened. We are having a party soon and they will both be there and there is going to be a lot of alchol. I'm her best friend and I want to help her but she's been known to get a little crazy at parties. I don't want her to do something with this girl that will jeopardize her relationship with her boyfriend? Is my friend Bi or is this a passing phase ( we're 21)
Thank you so much
2007-01-15 12:27:27 · 17 answers · asked by jenna 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My friend is not interesed in a 3-some so please don't suggest that. This isn't a sexy thing. My friend is actually really upset about it. So guys please don't comment if you're going to say something sexual.
2007-01-15 12:34:38 · update #1
Thank you guys. Just one more thing. the reason she's so upset is that she's absolutely in love with her boyfriend and he's crazy about her so that's definetly not an issue. she doesn't want to make a fool out of herself.
2007-01-15 12:39:20 · update #2
let her boyfriend know, if the other girl's bi, let 'em have a 3-way! i'm sure the guy's not going to mind one bit
2007-01-15 12:31:21 · answer #1 · answered by NASER™ 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Your friend may be what's called "bi-curious", or she may be discovering that she is actually gay. I question about the alcohol at the party; alcohol tends to lower inhibitions, cause trouble, and frankly, isn't necessary for a good time (I'm older; I've learned). Being raised in a religious environment is no "immunization" from being bisexual or gay; it simply means that you have more guilt about it. Be honest with her; tell her if she gets drunk, her chances of messing up about this situation skyrocket. Support her final decisions about her sexuality, whatever they may be. And realize that an occasional crush on the opposite sex--that hasn't been acted upon--is not necessarily the start of being gay. It's just being a human being. It may also mean that the boyfriend is not what she wants; she may discover that she's straight, but doesn't need the current boyfriend! Good luck and God bless.
2007-01-15 12:37:19 · answer #2 · answered by Judy W 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Some girls want to try something different. She is probably just
"passing phase". Watch over your friend at the party! If she's upset maybe the thought entered her mind and she's over-acting on the thought. Best wishes.
2007-01-15 12:35:31 · answer #3 · answered by lil' miss 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your friend that it is natural to feel some attraction to the same sex but these fantasies are usually passing ones. We all have fantasies but to act out every fantasy that we have would probably put most of us in jail, right? Watch how much she drinks because people in a state of drunkeness are not true in their nature. She may regret her moves tomorrow. If you care for her, watch that she does not go over the line in her sexual fantasy. She will only wind up hurting her relationship with her boyfriend but more so she may hurt her own psyche.
2007-01-15 12:40:25 · answer #4 · answered by Lois L 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I would not let her go to the party to make a fool of herself...find something else to do with her or invite her boyfriend to the party. It could pass or it may not. If she doesn't pay attention to this now she may constantly wonder herself now and later, and it cause her problems later. I would suggest she explore it when she splits from the bf to see if it is something or not.
2007-01-15 12:36:02 · answer #5 · answered by summera76 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its probably a phase. Straight girls find other girl attractive all the time.
2007-01-15 12:32:29 · answer #6 · answered by katnap20 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well i was brought up religious...but here lately i have been considering myself bi,i'm 20...although i'm married, to a man. He's okay w/ me experimenting. She should find out from her bf if he would be okay w/it. Then if she wants to...let her! I plan on trying it very soon. Tell her not to stress so much...it's natural for some people to be curious.
2007-01-15 12:32:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Every month is different for us. Maybe she was just having a hormonal moment. I would help her realize this and the fact that unless she fights this disgusting thought, she could ruin her relationships with, her boyfriend, her family, her friends, but most of all with God!!!!
2007-01-15 12:33:13 · answer #8 · answered by Angel L 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
it's hard to say. if she truly doesn't want to act on it she needs to be responsible and not drink so much and stay away from the girl. or just not go to the party at all. but really her actions are up to her. all you can do is be there for her.
2007-01-15 12:30:56 · answer #9 · answered by butter_cream1981 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If she doesn't want anything to happen, she shouldn't go to the party. If you want to be there for her, you would both not go, and do something else instead.
2007-01-15 12:34:25 · answer #10 · answered by Marie 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋