Age Difference?

Question

I met the most perfect guy. I never entended to get as close to him as I am now but now that I have feelings for him it makes my situaton worse. Im sixteen and he's twenty two. I turn seventeen this year. I love him and he loves me and he's really nice and caring. I want to be with him but I know that it's wrong in some ways. The age of consent in my state is sixteen but im still worried about whether or not I should be with him. We decided to stay close friends until im ready and I told him that that may be when im out of high school which is next yr. He said he's willing to wait but I dont know if I believe that. I dont look sixteen and im very mature but I know being with him will be difficult. If I decide to be with him is this wrong? Should I tell my parents or should I just wait until im out of school. I turn 17 this year and he's still gonna be 22

Answer 1

he sounds like a good guy. although your situation is difficult for you at the moment, i see a bright side to this: this is a perfect test to see how dedicated he is to you and how much he's willing to endure to have you in his life. if he can be patient and wait for you--- wow! you will have SO much respect and love for him, because he obviously thinks you're worth waiting for! if not, then he's probably one of those people who only want what's easy and will always head for the hills whenever life presents a challenge. your age difference certainly isn't the biggest age difference i've heard of, and you shouldn't have to wait long to be together. if he says he's willing to wait, take him at his word. AND tell your parents--- they will probably LOVE him if they know he has enough respect and commitment to wait for their daughter until the time is right for HER! good luck!

Answer 2

I dated a 22 year old guy when I was 16 and now, looking back, I think it was wrong and gross, even though at the time I thought I was so mature. I was working in camp that summer and the head counselor was really upset that we were dating. Now, I am married to a guy who used to be friend with my 22 year old and they are the same age. What I'm trying to say is that in just a few years, the age gap won't seem that large, but for right now, despite your maturity, you are in different developmental stages. You will catch up to him in just a few years, and if you both feel that it is right at that time, then I say, go for it. However, at this point, society doesn't look kindly upon such a relationship, and will most likely end up making him be perceived in a bad way by outsiders, even if the relationship itself is pure. I can only speak from personal experience, and though I don't regret that 22 year old that I dated at your age (he was invited to my wedding by my husband), and even though I do think I was mature enough to handle it, it still would have been a better experience to date people in my own peer group.

Answer 3

The age difference is not a really big deal. It sounds like a lot when saying 16 & 22, but in reality, it's not bad. When you look at the long term many couples have quite a few years in between them. Tell your parents if you both a commited to this relationship, have him over for dinner and let him get to know them. Not telling them can be make them feel that you betraded and not have an open mind about the current situation. Best of Luck to you both! It's all going to work out for the best.

Answer 4

No that's not that bad. I have some friends who are twelve year's apart and they got married. She was 18 and he was 30. They've been happily married for two years now. Maybe 16 and 22 is a little odd but by the time you're 20 and he's 26 it wont be weird at all. I say stay close until you graduate then see where things go. Good luck!

Answer 5

I say tell your parents what you are feeling for him. They can give you a more objective view of the situation. Plus, they would have the opportunity to meet the man. If you are afraid to introduce him to your parents, then you should not be dating him.

Truthfully, you are right to not trust that he will wait for you. He is very young, but you still have a lot of maturing to do and changes to go through to reach even his level. As hard as it may be, your best bet is to tell your parents and be prepared to end the relationship-which is probably what they will advise you to do.

Personally, though, I will tell you that a 22 year-old man has no business dating a 16 year-old. The maturity level is worlds apart and he's basically taking advantage of your youthfulness, whether or not either of you realize it.

Good luck!

Answer 6

Sometimes age doesn't matter. My boyfriend will turn 47 on Thursday. I will turn 33 this year. We get along great. If you two love each other and you are the age of consent then why not be with him. He could be the one. If you are a mature 16, soon to be 17 then you practice safe sex and enjoy the relationship.

Good luck and have fun, but don't rush things.

Answer 7

Since you are unsure about what to do,why dont you just give it some time to see if your man is honest about waiting.You should really concentrate on your education right now.Since he said he would wait until you are out of school then put him to the test.At least you will find out sooner than later if he is honest and trustworthy.I hope that whatever choice you make it make you happy,and i sincerly wish you the best in life.

Answer 8

It seems kewl now, but it won't be long before you'll begin to regret committing yourself to someone at such a young age...you need to experience Life and dating as an adult.

He'll be about 24 when you get out of high school...working on his college or career...it's a lot to ask him to wait over a year for you, but inappropriate for you two to get together now.

I think in time you'll decide to move on, on your own...let yourself really live before getting tied down...you'll be glad you did!

Answer 9

wow I know exactly how you feel...I'm turning 17 soon too and my "guy friend" that's what i call him since we aren't dating because our age gap...are experiencing the same thing.My mom totally wouldnt accept him if i told her his REAL age she knows of him but not his true age (she thinks hes 18) i know most People say that all 16 yr old girls think they are mature but i believe i am and with that I'm not saying i know everything or that I'm grown or anything like that i just think about a lot of things before i make a decision unlike most Teens.

Answer 10

If you really love someone, age difference doesn't matter. My dad is seven years older than my mom. I dated a guy that was 7 years older than me. Your parents might not see it that way, but there is nothing wrong with it. Good luck!