I don't know who it is really. The father of my child dumped me because we were having some problems in our relationship. I mean we just weren't getting along anymore. We argued over the littlest things because we didn't agree with anything anymore. He didn't like the fact that I smoke(when I'm anxious) and the fact that I let myself go after the pregnancy. I just couldn't stand anything he said or did, but I still love him. I am still in love with him. So, he dumps me over the holidays, and a day later he has a new g/f. I was so shocked. We don't talk anymore, but we used to be best friends. When he dumped me he tells me "it's not you it's me." But, I can't help but feeling that it is me. I don't know what it is. I am so confused because this is my first break up, and there is a child involved. I still love him, and I still have feelings for him. I want to mend our relationship sometime in the future. Would that even be possible? Someone help me out, I am clueless!
2007-01-15 11:36:23 · 16 answers · asked by Stefi13 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well most likely he means his feelings have changed when he says it's "him not you". However, his feeling have probably changed because you have "let yourself go". I know this seems shallow but you have to understand that he fell in love you how you were, and it's hard to determine what exactly made him distant. Women usually stop taking care of themselves once they think they have a guy but you have to keep the relationship fresh and healthy. Make sure to keep his interest. Tell him how you feel and tell him to be completely open with you about his feelings. Tell him you are willing to change whatever you are doing wrong. The most important thing is to stay completely open and honest about everything, and if he has a problem with you don't be offended. Everyone has some sort of problem with their significant other the majority of the time. Email me at tantar_87 if you have any further questions. I hope this helps you to understand. Goood Luck.
2007-01-15 11:51:04 · answer #1 · answered by Dr. Williams 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Okay--you say you 'let yourself go.' Would you still be attracted to him if he let himself go? Don't make excuses for your smoking. If you're anxious, go out and run and you'll get fit, lose weight, and quit smoking. You'll look and feel better if you get fit and you'll make him sorry he left you. But the fact that he hooked up with another girl so soon should make you think twice before you take him back. Improve your self-esteem and find a decent guy who will love you and your child.
2007-01-15 11:50:07 · answer #2 · answered by schweetums 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That line ("it's not you, it's me") is typically used to get out of telling you the truth. When someone breaks up with you, more often than not it's because of you (in their mind), especially when they use that line. It may be that he no longer loved you, felt no chemistry, had already taken another girlfriend, etc...but it's what some people say to avoid being honest. It helps them think they are trying not to hurt you. *rolls eyes*
2007-01-15 11:44:39 · answer #3 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a nice way of saying "theres a lot more involved but I dont want to hurt your feelings" the "me" he was refering to was probably the fact he already had a girl either on the side or one phone call away. He knew he had issues, and he didn't want to hurt you with them....which he still did. Look around you, everyone finds love, at every age, at every look, at every scenerio.....and the second time around they are usually wiser and more happy. So, throw yourself a good riddence to bad rubbish party and let it be "him"!
2007-01-15 11:46:15 · answer #4 · answered by hummingbirdnectar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually it means "it's you," but in your situation, I'd have to say it's him. For whatever reason, he freaked out and left. If he ever grows up, it'll be up to you whether you take him back or not. consider what's best for the child. I'd be wary of anyone who abandons their child.
2007-01-15 11:45:12 · answer #5 · answered by crazyjmommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means he doesnt have a better answer and he thinks this is suitable. It isnt! It is a B.S. answer to get him off the hook from the truth. It's not you
2007-01-15 11:41:11 · answer #6 · answered by troys_wifey2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a cop out. You are better off in the long run.
2007-01-15 11:40:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It means he just doesn't like or love you like he used too
2007-01-15 11:52:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That seriously means you are not his type and are far better off not even having this person around any more!!!FOR REAL!
2007-01-15 11:40:19 · answer #9 · answered by memjabeana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree Run. No good can come from that statement.
2007-01-15 11:41:05 · answer #10 · answered by alwaysmoose 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋